Like blood and fire
by Nuredhel
Summary: The sons of Feanör did many deeds, some great, some good, most not so. When the line of Feanör in the end was broken and the silmarils lost nobody expected that a certain Balrogslayer one day would encounter a living mystery, a Legacy of the war of wrath, a Survivor. A kinslayers child. Drama/Family/Mystery/Angst/romance. M/MA rated. Glorfindel/OFC/Maedhros/Maglor.
1. The ghosts of who we were

_**Chapter one: The ghosts of who we were.**_

_**The middle of the third age: **_

**A mountain range to the east of the sea of Rhûn.**

The female was sitting on a branch high above the forest floor, her keen eyes were following the movements of the animals scurrying around below her, unaware of her presence. She didn't move a limb, to anyone watching her she would have been naught but a shadow. She was one with the forest, one of its habitants and so she had been for most of her life. She had found this secluded valley a long time ago and she had never left it. She had forgotten if it ever had had a name, if it was marked on any map. It probably wasn't, it was too far away from any settlements and it held nothing of value. There was just some game, some foul and the thick dense forest itself, no valuable ore or precious gems to dig for and the soil was thin and poor, farming was not an option.

She had no idea of how long she had lived there, to her time was just a worthless notion, a word she had long ago forgotten. She had forgotten almost everything by now, even language. She had become like the animals of the forest she saw as her own, shy and careful, always on alert and never did she relax or let her guard down. The only thing she remembered was the shame, the fear, the feeling of being different, something despicable. It was the reason she had sought refuge within this forest and why she had chosen such a life for herself. As a hermit she never had to face anyone, she could live her own life, a life she could form as she wished.

This was freedom, the only freedom she would ever know, she was free from who and what she was and it was all that she could ever ask for. She had found a cave in the mountains when she first arrived so many long years ago, it had become her home and she had survived there alone through cold winters, through blistering heat and both drought and floods. The valley had changed since she first came to the place, landslides and ice had reshaped it and so had the river flowing through it. The forest had moved up the mountainsides and down again several times, the summers got longer and then shorter and she accepted these changes as just natural. She adapted as did all of nature's creatures.

She didn't need much, she was clad in animal hides in winter and the only weapon she had was a flint dagger and a very crude bow with some arrows made from twigs. She lived from one day to the next, her mind set upon the moment and she was no longer thinking in words but in feelings and images, like an animal. To the forest creatures she was one of them, in the winter she would share the cave with countless other creatures and she would survive the cold cuddled up among them. She was very thin, her body strong and sinewy and still her appearance would betray her, she never let anyone see her.

People had stayed in her valley several times and none had noticed that it had an inhabitant. Orcs and foul creatures had passed through it too and they had never noticed the eyes that were watching them. The forest was her family and her life and it protected her, told her of dangers, warned her and nurtured her. She had returned to the way of the very first of her race and it felt righteous in some way. She was paying for her past, for her very being.

The female had hardly seen anyone of her own people for a very long time now, she had almost forgotten about them. She stayed there because it was all that she knew by now, she was caught by the routine of her life and the freedom it provided her with. She was living the life of an animal and as such she never had to think. It was good that way. The cave had looked like the dwelling of someone for the first years she had stayed there but now it looked like an animal's cave with very little left of the things she had brought with her so long ago.

She had been so very bitter and angry back then, it had shaped her, hardened her and turned her into something she gradually realized that she couldn't allow herself to be. She had become everything she had loathed and feared and this was the only way she could save herself from becoming one of them completely. It was her greatest fear.

She had tried to flee from her own destiny and her own past and perhaps she in some ways had succeeded in this, a little too well.

It had been peaceful now for years, a year was such a short time to her, and yet the years were so very long. Every day a struggle to survive and she had honed her survival instincts into something superior even to the rest of her kin. Her senses hyper sensitive, her instincts sharper than the best blade, she avoided problems and she could almost go into a sort of hibernation if the winter became too long and cold for her small supply of food. She never knew if she would wake up again when she let that heavy sleep claim her but she didn't worry, she didn't think ahead at all.

She was resting against the trunk of a mighty old oak, the tree had grown from a tiny sapling to its mighty size in just a short time compared with the time she had spent in this valley and she knew every tree there and every living creature. She had eaten this day, a rabbit. The concept of cooking your food was one she had forgotten about, she ate the meat raw and she just wiped the blood of her face with her fur garments. Her hair was extremely long and tangled and she used it almost as a blanket when she slept. She felt at rest, peaceful. It was summer, that it would be yet another winter soon was something of which she was almost oblivious, the now was all that there was. She yawned and stretched herself, she felt drowsy but it was not the sleep time yet, and she wasn't home either.

She was ready to get up when she sensed something new, the trees were whispering to her, telling of something new, something that could be a threat. Something had entered the valley. She was on her feet, ran like a wild deer towards the cave and safety but on the way she got curious. The trees told her of confusion, but no hostility. She veered off her course, moved through the canopy towards the source of the disturbance. Her heart was hammering, she had gotten a bit bored of lately and everything new was something she wanted to explore as long as it wasn't dangerous. And the trees didn't speak of danger at all.

The three riders who slowly rode along the river were chatting together rather merrily, they had chosen to go exploring when their mission was completed and this area was abandoned by everyone ages ago. It was too close to the vast deserts of Rhun to be considered habitable and the very mountains were hard to get through with narrow passes and many dangers. This particular valley was so secluded they had a feeling that they were the first ever to enter it and they stared at the huge ancient trees and herds of deer with wide eyes. It was such an idyllic site and they stopped by the river and let the horses drink. They dismounted and sat down in the long grass to rest. The tallest of the three took a wineskin from his saddle and took a sip, handed it to one of the two almost identical ellyn who rode with him. "This place is gorgeous, so lush."

The younger ellon's voice was filled with wonder and awe and the tall golden haired one grinned and pulled off his tunic, sighed with relief. "It is the mountains, they trap the moisture. I think we may stay here for a couple of days just to explore, or what do you think? My horse is limping a bit and I feel like relaxing."

Elladan grinned. "Yes, that is an excellent idea."

Elrohir nodded vigorously, he was in fact very tired since they had been out hunting orcs for two whole months and he felt as though he needed some time off.

Glorfindel sat down and removed his boots. "Then it is decided, we are staying."

She was sitting in a tree, the canopy was hiding her from view but she could see very well enough. She felt a strange tingling sensation, a need to know more, see more. She didn't know what these creatures were, they were familiar to her somehow but she just couldn't remember. They were making strange sounds with their mouths and she tilted her head, her curiosity burning. If she had been able to keep more of her old self intact she would have reacted otherwise, she would have gone into hiding but she was naught but a forest sprite now, a strange innocence had replaced the once so harsh and bitter personality.

The three creatures stayed by the river, even when darkness fell and she did sneak up closer to them, driven by some inexplicable and irresistible pull. After a while she was in the bushes just a few steps away from the simple camp and neither they nor the horses did notice her. Her scent was that of the valley itself by now and her very being was so in tune with nature nobody would feel her presence anymore.

The three creatures killed some rabbits with their bows, and they hung them above fire? That was something she somehow did recognize but she didn't understand how. Then the two with dark hair rolled themselves into something that looked soft, she had no longer any words for blankets but she did understand the concept and knew that they would keep themselves warm and comfortable like this. The taller golden haired one was sitting there still, staring up at the stars and he was singing softly to himself, a sweet and somewhat sad tune and she just lay there, mesmerized by the sound. She had never heard anything like that, or at least, that was what she believed. It was haunting her, bringing forth a sense of melancholy, of deep longing. She lay there almost trembling as waves of repressed memories tried to break free from the clutches of her mental shield wall but to no prevail. The barriers did hold, she was still the sprite, the wild thing. The one she had been was forgotten also this night.

The next morning Glorfindel walked down to the river and he wanted to take a quick bath so he undressed and walked into the shallow river. It felt wonderful and he just stood there, relaxing and enjoying the sensation of getting cooled down. Then he suddenly sensed something new, he was being stared at. He swallowed, it wasn't the twins, they were by the horses and the valley didn't have any orcs or anything like that. The forest itself would have warned them. No, this was something different, it felt almost like an animal but yet not quite that elusive. This was something with a conscious mind.

He walked a few steps towards the shore, just to be safe. Stared around him and wished that he had brought his sword, he didn't like being unarmed.

She was hiding in the thick canopy of a small tree that was leaning over the river, staring at the creature out there. The sight created a new sensation in her, a sort of longing. Her instincts told her it was a male and she stared at her own limbs and saw that they were the same, the same species? She cocked her head, felt confused. It had removed the things that covered its body and she sort of liked what she saw, it was a very healthy big male, one she was sure all the females would like. There were something almost akin to memories trying to reach the surface of her mind, a feeling of recognition, of desire. She just knew that she would have liked to feel that body close to her own, why?

It was summer, too early for the mating season or perhaps the species she was off was different than the deer? Was that the answer? She had some understanding of the act of mating, she had seen the animals in the woods doing it countless times and she felt a surge of intense longing, yes, that was it. She needed a mate, and this male was the first she had seen worthy of her. Of that she was sure. She was breathing irregularly and couldn't take her eyes away from him, she moved slowly further out over the river along the branches, how was she to approach him? She had no idea, somehow she just knew that she hadn't been mated before. She forgot to look down, and suddenly there was nothing there to support her. She had stepped onto a dead rotten branch and she let out a short yelp as the water welcomed her into a very wet embrace.

Glorfindel spun around, ready to defend himself when he heard the sounds. He saw something moving in the water, it had fallen from a tree and it was just one being. He caught sight of something red and white and then it got back onto its feet and he stared wide eyed at something his mind had problems comprehending there and then. It was an elleth, but she was like none he had ever seen before. She looked like some wild thing, naked with a huge mass of matted tangled hair, a body so skinny every bone could be seen and a face he suddenly recognized. He had never seen her before but he had seen someone who looked so much like her it couldn't be a coincidence. Glorfindel just stood there, staring. Her bright red hair and the shape of her face and eyes, and above all, her height told him who she had to be, beyond any doubt. She was so like him it was frightening and the eyes, Valar, it was the same eyes. The same grey silver eyes with an unearthly shine to them. He had never seen a taller elleth ever, she was as tall as he was and few ellyn reached his height.

Glorfindel swallowed, she stood there, frozen in shock like him. Too shaken to break free from the spell his presence had thrown over her. She was beautiful, no wonder, so had the one who had to be her sire been too. His body did respond to what he saw, she was not wearing anything and she looked at him and then she whimpered, those huge grey eyes got wider and she was gone in a flash, like a fleeing deer. Glorfindel just sighed, what in the name of the Valar was going on? Who the hell was she? Well, there was no doubt about who her father had been, but how had that happened? It was ages ago damn it, back in the first age! She had to be ancient and still she had an air of innocence around her that was shocking. How had she ended up there? Why?

He waded out of the river, put his clothes back on. There was no point in pursuing her, she knew this forest, was a part of it. The trees told him this and she had been there forever, or at least that was what they said. He did believe them, she had lived there for more than an age, almost two. He would have to hope that she would return, come to him instead. She had been curious, of that he was sure. She would come back, he would see to it.

He walked back to the twins and Elladan frowned. "Fin, you look pale?"

He nodded and sat down, crossed his legs. "Yes, I had an encounter with a ghost down there."

Elrohir gaped. "I beg your pardon?!"

Glorfindel just sent the peredhel a wry grin. "Or perhaps not a ghost, for she was very much alive, but still a relic of the past."

Elladan sat down too. "Explain this Fin, who?"

Glorfindel stared at the remains of the camp fire, his eyes distant. "We have stumbled upon a mystery my friends, someone who really should not exist."

Elrohir grasped the wineskin and took a long draught. "Someone who shouldn't exist? You need to explain that a bit further."

The golden haired warrior sighed. "When I was bathing a buck naked elleth fell out of a tree that was leaning over the river, she fell straight into the water."

Elladan did snigger. "A naked elleth? Are you sure you haven't tried some of the mushrooms growing by the tree over there? They can cause some hefty hallucinations. Darn it, it is always you who get things like that happening to you. A naked elleth, wish it was me."

Glorfindel just shrugged. Elladan was leaning forward, he was eager now but Elrohir was more relaxed, he had always favored his own gender and couldn't have cared less if the elleth was naked or not. "I have had nothing but wine, and yes, she was real. And I have no doubt whatsoever who or what she is, the question is how in Manwe's name she has ended up here."

Elladan was squirming. "Damn it Fin, tell me, who is she then, this mysterious elleth?"

Glorfindel sighed, his eyes distant and memories of his first life pushed forth, made him cringe as he remembered the bloodshed, the carnage and the sheer madness that terrible oath had released. "She is the last living descendent of Feanôr, most likely a daughter of Maedhros for she is the spitting image of him."

The twins just stared with shock in their eyes. "The daughter of one of the kin slayers?"

Glorfindel sighed once more. "Yes, some wild thing, barely an elf at all. I think she will show herself again though, I can sense it somehow. "

The twins just stared at each other, the expressions on their faces told of an equal amount of shock and doubt mixed with a fair share of disbelief.

_**East Rhovanion: Year 30 : Second age of the sun. **_

Aira just knew it the moment she saw her daughter run towards her down the path, the time had come, the truth could no longer be hidden. She got to her feet, dropped the basket of nuts and took a deep breath, brazed herself for what was to come. Halariel stopped in front of her, tears were streaming down her cheeks and her still childlike body was shivering. She had a bruise on her cheeks and her dress was muddy and torn. Aira let her hand slide through her daughters long red hair, so beautiful, like fire and blood mixed. "What is it my little one?"

It was such an irony to use those words, already now, at a mere thirty five Halariel was taller than anybody else in the small tribe, but she was still pretty much a child in every other way. The girl sobbed and dried tears off her face with a muddy hand. "Mother, is it true what they are saying about me?"

Aira sighed. "What are they saying sweetheart?"

Halariel sat down, she was shaking still. "That I am a monster, that my father was a monster, Calmatan said you were a whore and then I slapped him but he hit me back and pushed me into the mud."

Aira felt a terrible pain in her chest, like her heart was breaking into a thousand pieces. She loved her daughter fiercely, would do anything to protect her but how was she to protect her most beloved one from herself? Nobody who saw her could doubt who she was, it was her curse. "That was not nice of him, just don't listen to them, they are just being mean."

Halariel bit her lower lip, her chin was trembling."But is it true mother? Was my father one of…of the kin slayers?"

The young elleth's voice was trembling with emotion and Aira knew she owed her daughter the truth. "Yes, they are right."

Halariel gasped and stared at her with huge eyes."Oh mother, how could you?! Valar! How could you…love one of…them!"

Aira stared down, her eyes filled with dark sorrow. Halariel, daughter of shadows indeed. "My dearest, I didn't love your father."

Halariel just stared, incredulously until the true meaning of her mother's words sank in, she went pale and her eyes huge with terror. "Oh sweet Eru, am I the result of such sin…Mother, did he rape you?!"

Aira swallowed. "My dear child, I got you didn't I? You are worth it, you are worth it all. You are the most precious thing I have"

Halariel was backing away from her, eyes huge and dark and so terribly like those of her father, of the cursed one who had caused so much grief and sorrow along with the rest of his kin. She keened, a shrill sound that sounded like some dying beast, then she ran. Aira reached out as if to grasp onto the fleeing child but she wasn't fast enough. "Oh Halariel, I wish it was different, but it is the truth. And we have to live with it, no matter how hard it is."

Aira's mate came running, he had seen it all and he stopped, uncertain of what he should do. Aira put her hands around his neck, leaned onto him to seek comfort. "Let her run, she has to know. She will calm down eventually."

He shook his head. "I fear you may be wrong in that assumption my dear, I know her very well and she is just as stubborn as they all were."

Aira closed her eyes, she felt so tired, so very exhausted having faced the consequences of those days over and over again. "At least she's gotten something that may benefit her."

He nodded. "Remember, she is your child too, she is only your child damn it, forget about him. You have raised her well, she will be alright and they will forget him soon enough. Worry not."

Aira sighed again and threw some locks of her own dark burgundy hair out of her face. It was that damn color that had brought her undoing and she had cursed it too many times to count. She closed her eyes and drifted off again, back into memories she had tried to forget, memories of war and death and tragedy and the days that would change her life forever.

_**The war of wrath: year 585 first age of the sun**_

She was pulling at the rope with all of her strength, trying desperately to pry it loose, she had to hurry or they would be furious. The stable master had asked for the extra rope to tie up the feet of the ticklish gelding so the farrier could trim his hooves without getting kicked and she had found only this one but it was stuck.

The camp was filled with elves and humans and dwarves too, it was a well organized chaos and she felt so frightened the whole time. She was just an Avari, a forest elf and one of the few survivors from a tribe almost obliterated by a vicious orc attack. Those who had managed to get away had fled westwards and the small group she had been of had run straight into one of the war camps. They had been desperate with hunger and fear and they had been put to work immediately. Since they were Avari they were not worthy of becoming anything but servants and since Aira was young and strong she had been told to work in the stables. She was afraid of horses and terrified of all those haughty Noldorin and Sindar elves who saw her as something almost akin to an animal.

She was being fed and she was safe from the orcs but she knew that this war would determine everything, if they lost then the enemy would surely turn the whole world into hell. She was so scared of that and she barely slept at all. As a servant she didn't get any information, but she knew that they were making progress. She kept her fingers crossed and tried to work hard so nobody would have a reason to complain about her.

She tugged the rope free and ran to the stable master with it, handed it over with her eyes to the ground. He just scoffed and grasped it, didn't even look at her. At first everybody had been looking, she had such a rare haircolor and her pale skin and green eyes were not exactly common among elves and absolutely not among the Avari but she was Avari, one hundred percent. She found a wheel barrel and started mucking out the makeshift stalls, she had gotten the hard work and the stable hands of the lords and knights loved to tease her and make her job even harder than it already was.

Being a female with no family and no friends had put her in a precarious situation but she was tough, she knew how to fight and she had gotten some reluctant respect from the others. There were thousands of warriors and horses in the huge camp and it was easy to get lost but she had learned to find her way through the veritable forest of tents and banners. Sometimes the stable master had her running with errands or messages and she liked that, she was a fast runner with long legs and she liked to get away from the stable.

The farrier was done and the stable master got over with a note in his hands. She didn't know how to read or write and so he often used this Avari elleth to transport messages, she couldn't read them and because of that she was perfect since she couldn't leak any information. He handed her the note and nodded. "The edain lord with the boar on his shield, the western part of the camp, go now!"

She knew that part of the camp, it was reserved for the edain and she was a bit frightened of them, in fact more than she was of the elven lords and warriors. There was something in their eyes she didn't understand. She ran off, the western part of the camp was close to the part reserved for the Noldorin warriors and she was too well aware of what some of them had done in the past. The camp was rather silent this day, many were out there fighting and she ran as fast as she could and reached the western part of the camp without even breaking a sweat. She found the tent with the right banner and mark upon it and a servant came forth and stared at her. She bowed and held the note out. "I bring a message from the stable master to your lord."

The servant took the note and read it, he made a grimace and nodded to her, turned around and went into the tent and Aira took a deep breath and turned around, started walking back. The camp was muddy and stinking and even though there were latrines dug some gave a damn about it and did their business behind the tents or wherever they felt like it. Many of the edain warriors had gotten ill and the elven healers were furious and up over their shoulders in work all the time. She would have thought that the Valar would have prevented something like this from happening but no. They were too busy trying to conquer Morgoth and his balrogs and dragons to bother with the sanitary conditions of the human encampment.

She was turning a corner when she suddenly stood face to face with a small group of young edain warriors and she immediately knew she was in trouble. These were no knights, these were just ordinary foot soldiers without any sort of honor and she turned around to flee. One of them was very fast and grasped onto her arm, held her tightly. "Oh slow down pretty one, are you perhaps lost? We can show you the way, it won't cost you much."

She tried to twist herself free but now three of them were holding onto her and the one who had to be the leader of these men grasped her by her chin and grinned, his teeth were brown and his breath did stink and she coughed and tried to kick. "This one is feisty guys, look at those pretty red locks? I bet she know how to keep a mans bed warm and his cock hard"

He tried to get his hand into her tunic but she squirmed and managed to let out a shrill cry, he slapped her across her face and she felt how her heart threatened to break out of her chest, it was beating so fast and hard and her feeling of panic almost made her paralyzed. The man leaned forward to kiss her but suddenly he was yanked back and the warriors backed away. She blinked and felt how they let go of her.

"You filthy bastards dare lay hand on one of the firstborn? Be glad I don't ask for your heads!"

The men stared at the two tall ellyn and their eyes were wide with fear, hers were too. She knew these two and she knew that it only was their skills in battle that had allowed them access to the camp and the war. They were the cursed ones, oath bound. She whimpered and swallowed hard. The tall dark haired one didn't look so bad though, his eyes had some kindness in them. He lifted her chin with a finger and studied her face with a puzzled expression on his face. "What is your name child and from whence do you come?"

Aira felt the eyes of the other one on her the whole time, piercing grey eyes and he was towering above her, how could anyone be that tall? "I…I am Aira my lords, I come from…the east of here."

Maglor sighed. "A refugee or what? Are you alone here? It is not safe for an elleth to be here without anybody to watch over her."

She looked down. "I have nobody my lord, I work in the stables."

Then she felt a hand touching her hair and she jerked, it was his brother and he stared at her red locks with narrow eyes. There was something akin to sadness in those hard cold eyes and his hand was rather gentle. She knew that she was rare, just as he was. His hair was red too but in a lighter tone, more like fire. Hers was almost the color of blood. He tilted his head. "Another fire top, how peculiar."

She didn't dare to look at that beautiful and yet so terrible face. "Yes my lord."

He sighed and bent down a little, stared at her. "You are Avari are you not? I have never met a red headed Avari, and such lush color too, you are rather rare young one."

She blushed and looked down. "Yes my lord."

Maglor was smiling. "Is yes my lord all that you can say?"

She shook her head. "No my lord."

Maedhros grinned, it looked peculiar. "Indeed are you a strange one, I tell you what, you are far too precious to be working in a stable. We need a servant, you are perfect for that task."

He turned to Maglor. "Send a note to the stable master and tell him we have requisitioned his Avari stable hand. "

Aira just stared at them, working as a servant for those two?! By the Valar, she had stepped from the frying pan and into the very fire itself. Everybody knew who they were and what they had done and the only one people hated and feared more than that family was Morgoth himself. But on the other hand, nobody would dare to hurt her if she served them and she would be safe, at least she hoped that she would be.

She had to follow them through the camp, felt like a midget even though she was fairly tall for an elleth. The two brothers and their followers had an area all to themselves on the outskirts of the camp. It was almost a camp in itself and she feared that she from now on would become even more of a pariah than before. She followed them into the tent, it was rather huge and split up into separate rooms with screens and sheets and it was simple but clean and elegant enough.

Maglor sat down and sighed, he motioned towards a chair and she sat down too, very nervously. "Worry not young one, we will not demand that you work too hard. If you make sure we have clean clothes, clean bedding and hot meals we will be more than happy with that."

She just nodded and stared down at her toes. Maedhros made a grimace. "You stink of horse and those clothes have seen better days so your first duty will be to bathe and clean yourself."

He gestured towards the back room. "There is some water in there and I think we have some extra clothes here somewhere."

He went rummaging through some chest and pulled out a blue shirt that was long enough to be used as a dress, a belt and a pair of breeches that probably were way too long for her. He tossed them over to Maglor. "Here, cut half of the legs off, then they will be her length I presume."

Aira went into the back room of the tent, it was not large but there was a wooden bath tub there and water in some buckets. She just stared at it all until Maglor came with the clothes. "Here little one, they are clean and there is a comb underneath that pile of towels. You look as if you have been attacked by a tornado."

She had to grin, she kind of liked him already, there was the same sadness in his eyes as in his brothers but it was softer, more melancholic. Maedhros eyes on the other hand were hard, cold, tormented and there was such anger and hatred in them and also fear, enormous amounts of fear. She wondered if it was true what people said about him, she had seen already that he missed his right hand but had he really been the prisoner of the enemy? Then it was no wonder he looked the way he did, as if he was harboring something to terrible to imagine.

She washed quickly, got the new clothes on and combed and braided her hair, she suddenly felt like a person again and she was shocked by the dark color of the bath water. She had been covered in grime. She drained the tub and washed it and prepared it for the next one who wanted a bath and then she returned to the front room. They sat by the table talking in quenya which she didn't understand and both stared at her. "Morgoth's breath, there was an elleth underneath that filth and those rags after all!"

Maglors voice was filled with surprise and Maedhros tilted his head and whistled. "Indeed, you look almost like some Noldorin maid."

Aira just blushed and Maglor got up, he smiled. "There is a kitchen tent not far from here, you can go there to get us food three times a day. There is wine in those skins in the corner and it is very strong. We want one cup each every evening, do not touch that wine for it will be too strong for you, if you want wine we have a skin with a more normal type."

She shook her head. "I do not drink wine my lord."

Maglor raised an eyebrow. "Really? Well, you have missed out on a lot then. "

Maedhros just shook his head. "Oh don't start corrupting the young one, and don't spoil her."

Maglor just grinned at his brother and she sensed that the two indeed did love each other dearly, she hadn't seen it from that point of view before. They had lost their father and five brothers, and all because of Morgoth and the oath and those jewels their father had made. Of course they were sad and it was something deeply tragic about it, they were like ships without a rudder, being pulled along by a strong current, heading headlong into disaster, helpless to avoid it.

And so Aira became the personal servant of the last two sons of Feanör and she slowly got used to her new life. She rarely saw them, they were busy most of the time with meeting discussing tactics and battle plans and she soon discovered that she had gotten a new sort of status now. The feanörians were looked upon with scorn and hate and resentment but also with respect and as their servant some of it was transferred to her. And her hair did add to it, she was red haired as Maedhros and some thought she had to be some relative of them.

The job was easy enough, she got up from her small bed by the tent opening as soon as the sun rose, rolled it up, made breakfast and tea and laid out clean clothes. After they had eaten and left for the day she did eat and washed clothes and bedding and prepared the rest of the meals for the day. She didn't interact that much with the rest of the elves in the camp but she could see that they were very curious about her. She did her best to do her work to their satisfaction and they never complained and that gave her a feeling of pride. It was after all way better than working in the stables and she felt as though she mastered these tasks.

She got used to them in a way, Maglor was often very silent and he would sit there staring into nothing but he could also be very kind and show real emotions. She knew that they had fostered two elflings and that Maglor missed them a lot. He would often speak of them and how he wished that he could have been with them instead of fighting in this war but there was no choice.

Maedhros spoke very rarely but he spoke in his sleep, he was often screaming or whimpering and tossing around and she did pity him then. Whatever it was he was reliving, it had to be absolutely awful and it seemed to get worse. She would go to him when he woke up in the middle of the night, carrying a cup of the strong wine and she would see that his hair was wet with sweat, his body trembling and his eyes wide and filled with a despair too great for her to truly comprehend. He would take the cup and empty it and then he would ask her to leave and she heard him sobbing afterwards, every time.

Maglor did sometimes sing, sad songs, filled with longing and sorrow and she would ask if they had nobody left? He answered that their mother was alive in Aman but that they probably never would meet her again, they had one relative left on Arda though, the son of one of their brothers and he was in every way as ingenious as their father had been but not bound by any oath and he had turned his back to them all. Perhaps there was hope for their family after all, if Celebrimbor didn't do anything as stupid as their father had.

The war was raging and she saw its brutality every day, wounded, dead or dying, heard the screams from the healer's tents and saw the smoke and dust from afar. Dragons were flying and packs of orcs roamed the lands, she was so afraid every night that the enemy would attack the camp and she was almost shivering when the sounds from the battle fields reached the camp at night. Maglor would actually hug her and calm her down, humming softly and talking to her as he would to a child and she felt safe around him. There was a gentleness in him and she knew he had been a musician, not a warrior at all. This had to be very hard on him, perhaps worse than it was for his brother who had been prepared to lead others most of his life.

She had stayed there for about four months when it all changed, she had been busy washing cloaks and shirts when Maedhros returned to the tent, much earlier than usual. He looked rather terrible and she saw blood on his clothes and there was dark shadows lurking within his gaze. A dark hopelessness that would have broken weaker souls. He sat down and she poured a cup of wine, put it in front of him. He sent her a tired gaze, made a strange wheezing sound and tossed the strong wine back as if it was water. He coughed and wiped off his mouth, as always he kept his right arm hidden inside of his cloak, as if he was ashamed of his missing hand. "One more."

She obeyed, poured another cup and he drank that too greedily, with a shaking hand, she saw tears on his cheeks and knew that he somehow had reached a sort of threshold, that it was getting too much for him. He gasped and then he threw the cup at the tent wall, in a fit of uncontrollable rage. "Damn him, damn him forever!"

She didn't dare to ask him, just retrieved the cup and poured more wine. He took it and drank more slowly. "It is all his fault, all of it. I am so tired of it all, the deaths, the sacrifices, everything!"

She just sat there, he wiped tears of his face and his eyes were distant, and hurt. "I have seen too many die Aira, far too many. And still that…thing! … is sitting there like a goddamn leech sucking the very lifeblood out of the land. I loathe him, more than anything else."

She did understand but he was staring at the wine skin and then he just grasped it and poured more from it into the cup, pushed it over to her. "Here, take a sip, I hate drinking alone."

She took the cup, hesitantly. The wine smelled nice though, and she didn't want to displease him. The taste was stronger than she had expected but not bad, just different. He was drinking straight from the wine skin now and she was a bit shocked by it. He was used to this strong liquor but how much could he really handle? She just sipped at the wine and he kept drinking. He was huge and muscular and strong but even such a massive body had its limits.

He was mumbling, sobbing and speaking in quenya, she recognized the names of his brothers and after a while he tilted forward across the table, just shaking with grief. Aira had finished her wine and it made her head spin, they were right, it was way too strong for her but at least she had had only a small taste of it. She hadn't been drinking several gallons of the stuff. The wine skin was almost empty by now and he was unable to pronounce the words correctly, his speech slurred and incoherent. She got over, shook him. "You ought to get to bed, you cannot sit here like that."

He nodded and got back onto his feet, staggered and hit the edge of the table, unable to find his balance. She reached out, supported him and helped him get into the side room that was his. It didn't have much furniture, a bed and a washstand and a chest with clothes in it, that was all. He was swaying and mumbling and she unfastened his cloak and got it out of the way, then she unlaced his boots and he sat down upon the bed and his eyes were closed. He looked so innocent like that, and again she did pity him. Had he had a choice at all? Probably not, when his father did swear that oath he too had been caught by it. How could he have refused?

Morgoth had killed his grandfather damn it, who would have hesitated under such circumstances? They must have thought it was the end of the world, that seeking vengeance was their only option before the end.

She pulled his boots of, got the blood stained tunic and undershirt off him too and he just sat there, passively and with his head hanging low. He was swaying and she knew that the alcohol was kicking in. She bent down, lifted his legs and tipped him over and onto the bed but he suddenly jerked, reached out and grasped her. She found herself laying on top of him and he had put his arms around her, pressed his face against her throat and was mumbling something that sounded very sore and sad.

She felt like a log. Stiff and rigid and she barely dared to breathe, he was warm and his arms so strong they felt like they had been made from steel. She did tremble, tried to wriggle herself out of the grasp but she found that it was impossible. He sought comfort, warmth and contact like a child seeks its mother and she just knew she was being too kind.

He mumbled again, turned around and suddenly she was trapped beneath him instead of being on top, it had gotten from awkward to frightening and she yelped and tried to push him off of her but to no prevail. He was two feet taller than her and more than twice her weight and he was dead weight too. He just lay there for a while, he didn't move at all and she feared that he had passed out where he lay. She squeaked, he was so heavy she could hardly breathe and she didn't want his brother to come and see them like that.

He mumbled again and snuggled against her, she felt his warm tears against her skin and rolled her eyes. What in the name of Eru was she to do? He was so much stronger than her and she felt like some tiny insect, something barely noticeable. He sighed, he was probably going to fall asleep and she had no idea of what to do. Gods, she had to get out of there. His long hair did tickle her and she wasn't blind to his beauty but damn it, she could not think like that, not about him. She did one last effort, pushed against the wide shoulders with all of her might and he groaned and lifted himself a bit, eyes closed and expression somewhat drowsy. "Get off me!"

She hissed it and he blinked, his eyes completely out of focus and he leaned onto his right arm and then his left hand slid over her face, just once. It was a caress, awkward and almost shy and something about his demeanor changed within the blink of an eye. He tensed up, his breath changed and now his hand was sliding all over her and he started pulling at her clothes. Aira did freeze, she was in serious trouble now, he was making some strange sounds and he held her down with his right arm. She yelled, he didn't react at all and panic took her. She started fighting him but somehow that only fueled whatever it was that had possessed him. He was panting, gasping words she didn't understand and he just ripped her clothes.

Aira felt a weird sense of distance, as if she really wasn't there at all. She wondered if this was how an animal felt once the hunter or predator had gotten its claws into it and the end was inevitable. A sort of floating sensation, a way to protect her own sanity perhaps. He was whimpering, his hand sliding over her skin and he tried to kiss her but she managed to throw her head out of the way, instead he kissed her neck and started licking the skin, it made her cringe. She yelled again, now she hoped that Maglor would return, oh how she longed to hear his footsteps outside of the tent.

She tried pushing him away again but he was way too heavy even when she was filled with adrenaline and fear. He somehow had managed to unlace his own pants and he had also pushed them down, she felt his warm skin against her own and he held her with his arm while he got her pants down too, ripped them apart and pushed her legs apart with a weird mewling sound. She saw his eyes and she just froze again, she was unable to move at all. The fear in them was paralyzing her, she had no idea of what he saw but he was desperately trying to get away from it, to feel something else than terror, to erase something absolutely awful with bodily emotions. She wasn't even sure that he was aware of what he was doing, it was as if the body on top of her had a will of its own and it was stronger than that of the fêa within it.

Aira was no maiden, she had had lovers before, back home with her tribe but she already knew that this would hurt, she didn't want it and he was so rough and impatient and more so, he was huge. He let out a strange moan as he pushed into her and his eyes rolled up, she feared that he was passing out. She bit her lip not to scream, he was splitting her in half, cleaving her down the middle, it had never hurt like that before, not even her first time. She closed her eyes, tried to pretend as though it wasn't happening but it was.

He moved slowly at first, as if he really didn't know what to do or how to do it, but then he started thrusting more vigorously, laying down onto her and she could just try to endure. She was gasping for breath and felt her own warm tears streaming down her cheeks. He moaned and gasped with each move, had found a rhythm that made the bed creak and shiver and she felt as if she was a nail being hammered into a wall or something. Then he tensed up, threw his head back and she felt him shudder and pulse, felt him spill himself inside of her as he let out a hoarse guttural growl in a mix of pleasure and grief.

Aira sobbed, unable to think clearly, to traumatized to move. He groaned a few times and then he collapsed on top of her, unconscious. She whimpered, he was crushing her with his weight and her own emotional shock was getting too much for her. She felt the world slipping away in front of her eyes and she passed out like a candle in the wind.

Maglor had been held up in a meeting with some of the leaders of the campaign against Morgoth, they had lost many that day and some were elves they had known, elves who had followed them into exile and stayed loyal to them through the whole mess. He had seen his brother leave the others earlier, stricken by grief and he was worried so he hurried back to their tent. He walked in and expected to see Aira busy doing the shores they had given her. He had gotten really fond of the girl and her presence had made things a little easier for them both. She wasn't there but an almost empty wineskin lay on the simple camp table and so did a cup.

Maglor felt a strange chill running up his back, he took a deep breath and hawked, listened. No sound was heard and he coughed, no reaction. He walked over to the screen that separated his brothers sleeping area from the rest of the tent and pushed it aside. He just stared, to shocked to move. He wasn't even able to really understand what it was that he was seeing until his brain had had some time to analyze it. He staggered back two steps, his hand pressed against his mouth, tears swelling up in his eyes. He made a keening sound, his legs felt as though they had no strength left. "Oh brother, what have you done?!"

His usually melodic voice naught but a raspy hoarse whisper and he swallowed the nausea and moved forth, hesitantly. She was breathing, the skin clammy with sweat and there were traces of tears on her face but she was alive, at least for now. He knew too darn well that an elf could die from being raped and the thought that his brother could have done something this terrible was too shocking even for him. They had all killed, yes, even their own kin and for that they were forever condemned and cursed but this? Oh sweet Eru, not this! He pushed his brother off her, he had collapsed without even removing himself from her and Maglor cringed and felt a terrible sensation of rage and sorrow. He lifted the unconscious elleth gently and walked over to his own bed, placed her on it and found some water and a cloth. He was no healer but he feared that she could be injured both in Hroa and fêa. There was blood on her thighs and he felt the smell of seed and he almost retched.

He washed her gently, wrapped her in soft blankets and then he turned his attention to his brother. He felt a strange need to turn his back to him, denounce him, even hurt him, but he couldn't. Maedhros was his brother damn it, no matter what he had done . He washed him too with considerably less gentleness and got his pants back on him before he rolled the ellon back onto his back and pulled the covers over him. When Maedhros woke up there was going to be some very serious and not very gentle words exchanged.

Aira was confused, she had no idea of where she was and she blinked and tossed her head around, what had happened? This wasn't her bed? Then she remembered and she froze up again, oh gods no. He had… She felt tears swelling up in her eyes again and she felt her body now, the ache between her legs and the terrible feeling of having been betrayed somehow. She tried to breathe normally, tried to remain calm and not let hysteria overcome her. She hadn't survived the attack and the escape to die now, never. She heard voices, didn't want to listen but she had to. It was Maglor, his voice was shivering with emotions and he sounded as if he was close to tears. She closed her eyes, tried to deny it all, push it all aside.

"Are you aware of what you have done?!"

There was a mumbling answer, almost nothing more than a whisper.

"Ha?! As if what we have done wasn't enough already! Are you seriously trying to end up being eternally damned? "

Then she heard Maedhros voice, it was shivering, thin, almost like a frightened child's voice. "I am already condemned, lost. What difference does it make?"

There was the sound of someone being slapped hard and a whimper. "It does matter, to her! Are you trying to commit every thinkable sin possible? Answer me damn it, what are we to do?!"

She heard him sob, a racking hopeless sound. "I am so sorry, I am! Please believe me, I…I was drunk! You know me, I wouldn't…"

Maglor was almost growling. "And yet you did! You did brother, you raped her! She was bleeding damn it, she was unconscious. If she dies I will never forgive you, ever!"

She heard more sobs and a low keening sound. "Then do it damn it, kill me! Avenge her, avenge them all, all those I have slain, all the bloodshed I have caused. I am worthy of nothing except death."

Maglor was mumbling something. "And the oath? Am I to stay here alone, bound by that awful mistake our father made? Do you wish to leave me?"

Maedhros was whispering, his voice so sore and hurt. "No, I do not wish to leave you, never."

Maglor was walking around, she heard his steps. "I will not forgive you this brother, but I don't want to see you dead either."

Aira held her breath, what was to happen to her now? Were they going to get rid of the evidence perhaps? Maglor sat down on the bed, she heard it creak. "I am going to nurse her back to health, no matter how long it takes, then I will help her return to her people if so she wishes. And I will make sure that she is compensated in every way, do you agree?"

She heard Maedhros sighing. "Yes"

Maglor moved again. "I will not let you see her again, you have caused enough grief"

He almost spat out the last words and Maedhros whimpered again, as if he was in pain. She had thought that Maglor was soft, gentle and even perhaps a bit reluctant to use any sort of force but she started to realize that he too had a darker side. It was just very well hidden most of the time.

She lay there staring into the roof of the tent, it was alright with her if she never saw him again, more than alright in fact. And returning to her people? If it was at all possible then yes, she wanted that. Maglor entered the small room and sat down next to her, his eyes were so sad and he tried to smile but he was a bit pale. "I am glad to see that you are awake. How do you feel?"

His voice was trembling and she knew that he probably weren't all that used to females in the first place, after all, with six brothers he probably had grown up in an environment completely dominated by males. She had had two sisters and one brother but they had all perished in the orc attack and she had sort of pushed the sorrow away, it would have crushed her sanity if she had allowed herself to think of it. "Sore, I am aching."

He bit his lower lip, he was blushing and then he was pale again. "Is there something I can get you? Are…are you going to be alright?"

She cringed and sighed, her entire body was aching but she felt a weird heat coming from inside somewhere, a sort of rage. It would allow her to just give in. "Yes, I won't just lay down and fade if that is what you fear."

He let out a sigh of relief and petted her hand, almost hesitantly, as if he feared that he would be doing something bad by it. "I am glad, I…do you want a healer? I can get one of them to come to you?"

She swallowed hard. "And let everybody know what he did to me? What just happened? Do you think people will forget about that? The blame will not be his you know, he is already feared. No, it will be mine, I will be the despicable one, the tainted one. I will be the whore who let a kin slayer fuck me."

Maglor winced, a grimace of pain crossed over his fair face and he shook all over. "Aira, don't speak like that. It wasn't your fault, he was drunk and assaulted you, how could you have stood a chance against someone that much stronger than you?"

She looked down, feeling a wave of bitterness rush through her. "Your words are as lovely as ever Maglor, but I did speak the truth you know. No, no healer, I will survive. I can take care of myself."

He closed his eyes, swallowed. "Then let me know if there is something you need."

She just nodded and pulled the blankets up, she just wanted to get out of there, so she could forget all about it.

For the next two days she stayed in bed, Maglor was nursing her as he had said he would. He fed her, brought her everything she needed and she felt grateful towards him. He would sing to her and his attempts at cheering her up were heartfelt but also desperate. She had stopped bleeding and her body was mending itself, slowly. She didn't see Maedhros again, he stayed away but Maglor told her he was deeply ashamed of what he had done and that he more than anything would have wanted to turn back time so that he could stop himself from doing it. She did believe him, but it didn't change anything.

Maglor had managed to get her a horse and new clothes, food and weapons and also a pouch filled with some gold coins and some pearls. She did feel like a whore when she received it, the payment for that one act of what should have been love but wasn't. But she needed it, if she was to make a new life for herself she needed it all. A scout was to guard her and help her find some tribe she could join and she felt grateful but also terribly ashamed of herself. Maglor did take her hand as they were to say goodbye, he pressed something into it and she stared down. It was a tiny gem, not larger than a child's little finger nail but it was so sparkly, it shone with a light that was shocking. She just stared at it and he made a weird grimace. "Ada gave that to me, when he made the Silmarils there were leftovers, small pieces. This is one of them, I have carried it with me but I guess that you deserve it more than I do. After all, the jewels were untainted by evil, I am not, not anymore."

She put the small gem into a pocket inside of her tunic. "I…I don't know what to say."

Maglor stared down, when he looked up she saw tears in his eyes. "Aira, this war will either kill us or destroy us completely, I am sure of it. We are helpless to change the destiny that awaits us. We will be remembered as monsters, as abominations or even worse. I just have this one wish Aira, do remember me as something else, please."

She nodded, leaned forth from the saddle and kissed his cheek, a quick and chaste kiss and he smiled and touched the spot with his eyes held down. "I will remember you for your kindness Makalaüre, for naught more than that."

She spurred the horse and rode after the scout and the tall dark haired ellon stood there for a long time, staring after her. Perhaps there was hope after all, perhaps all good hadn't abandoned them. He could only pray.

Aira rode to the south and then to the east and finally, after many weeks she found a tribe of Avari who welcomed her. She never told them of what she had been through, she just said she was a refugee and that someone had been kind enough to offer her a horse and some provisions.

She was settling down when she one day discovered that the gem was missing, she looked for it but it was nowhere to be found and she accepted that with a shrug and thought it was sad but nothing more than that. A week later she realized that she indeed had been left with more than she had believed to begin with, she was with child. She did fall into a fit of hysteria but calmed down after a while, it shouldn't have been possible but yet it had happened and she just had to accept it. She decided that she never would see this child as his, only as her own. She never told anyone of who the father was and they accepted that. They had all suffered losses so terrible they preferred not to speak of them.

When her daughter was born Aira was nervous, she was a red head so it wouldn't look weird at all if the child had red hair. The eyes were the problem, and she was shocked to see that they were his. Luckily this tribe had had nothing to do with the Noldorin elves and none had ever met any of the feanorians. They didn't care at all if her daughter had red hair and grey eyes and grew like a bean stalk. It wasn't until that one fateful evening she had to tell Halariel the truth and it was all because of new elves who joined the group and told of the kinslayers and of the death of Maedhros and the disappearance of Maglor. She felt just an empty cold feeling hearing about how her daughter's father had ended his own life but she did mourn Maglor, if he was dead then it was sad, truly sad.

She had found a good ellon she had married and she hoped that the future would be good now that Morgoth was vanquished but she knew that her daughter could face a difficult life, she just prayed the Valar that the sins of the father wouldn't come back to haunt the one good thing he had left behind on this earth.


	2. The sins of the father

Chapter two: The sins of the father

_**The mountains west of the sea of Rhûn.**_

She had fled back to her cave, confused and frightened. There were strange images in her head, images she could not explain, not in her current state of mind. The pull was there still, strong and undeniable and so very new to her. She hadn't known what to do, she tried to rest but there was no such thing as rest to be found. She just wandered around in the small cave, chewing on her fingernails, trying to make sense of it all. She had to go back, she had to see him again, before he left. There was a terrible fear in her now, what if he was gone when she returned? The very idea made her shiver. She needed him but she didn't know why or how she knew this. She shivered and slowly her feet started bringing her back towards the river and the glen where the three riders had put up camp.

It took her quite a while to get there for she felt as though she was torn in two, a part of her feared them and didn't want to go and the other part was eager to see him once more. She didn't walk a straight path, sometimes she almost turned around and ran back and she was circling the area many times and for every round the circle got a little bit smaller. Finally she saw them, they were still there and she breathed a sigh of relief, why she didn't know. She was creeping closer, hid underneath the dense bushes, used every small rock or tree for cover. Her nose shivered and she stared at him with huge eyes. Why did she feel this attraction? She had no idea! She got as close as she could without being seen and lay there mesmerized by the sight, her eyes were glowing with a mix of fear and awe.

Glorfindel could sense her, she was close but he would let her come to him, if he tried to go to her she would bolt and flee again. The twins had sat down on the other side of the small camp fire. They had been ordered not to move if she appeared and they would most certainly obey. He saw that Elladan was very curious but also a bit nervous, his brother acted more as if he was very fascinated and Glorfindel knew that he was far more fond of books and lore than his brother. He probably knew more about the things that had happened in the first age than his brother.

The sun was heading back towards the horizon and he guessed that she would make her move soon, before the night fell. He had prepared well, he had a wineskin close by and he had added some herbs to the wine that made you sleepy but nothing more than that. He had no idea of whether or not he would be able to make her drink anything but he would try. He didn't want to see her run off again. He had to solve this puzzle, he was deeply fascinated by it and also a bit shocked. They had not heard of anyone having had a relationship with Maedhros, he had never married and rumors flew just as fast back then as they did now. If he had taken a mistress everybody would have known. This was really a mystery.

As the sun sank and the skies were colored by its reddening light he saw movement in one of the dense juniper bushes close by, he cringed. The bush was rather huge and its branches filled with needles, it had to be uncomfortable to say the least.

He just sat there, motionless and he felt his heart beat in a rather fast rhythm, this was a bit exciting. He had no idea of what he could expect. He had removed his tunic and sat with his upper body bare, to distract but also to provide her with nothing to hold onto if she turned out to be hostile, he had also braided his hair into one long braid and he had a knife in his belt. He only moved his eyes and then she slowly emerged from the bush, on her hands and knees, crawling like some animal. The eyes were wide open, nervous and frightened but filled with such curiosity and wonder and a sort of hunger he didn't quite understand, at least not at the moment.

He didn't meet her gaze, stared down but kept an eye on her from the corner of his eyes. She crept closer, very slowly, even the smallest movement or sound made her jerk and freeze like a kid playing some game.

The twins saw her by now, they didn't move and they didn't make a sound, Glorfindel saw that their eyes were wide open in shock. She was even stranger to look at so close, so thin and so marred by a life that had to be very hard. He saw scars and what had to be flea bites and he cringed internally. Of course she had fleas, and probably lice too. She smelled of forest and he started to realize that she had been reduced to a state where she was just an animal. There were no words in those huge grey eyes, just emotions, raw and unshielded. She could not pretend to be anyone or anything she wasn't, for she would not know what it was to lie or play games.

Glorfindel wondered if she knew who she was, if she had any idea of what her past held? She had to have come there from somewhere? Was there a way to find out about her path up to the now? She stared at the small fire, panted with a terrible mix of confused emotions. She didn't dare get any closer and yet she had to, she took one small step closer, then yet another one and the entire body shuddered. Glorfindel kept his eyes to the ground, she acted like an animal and to most animals direct eye contact is a threat. She didn't stare at his face either, her nose shivered and she did indeed remind him of an animal of some kind. Perhaps she was insane? Someone abandoned by her caretakers, too far gone to be saved? Her father had been more or less insane at the end, could that be the reason why she was there?

She stared at the male and felt his scent, it was warm and musky and it made her feel that strange longing yet again. She was so afraid, so terribly afraid but it was stronger than her fear, she got closer and felt the heat from the fire against her skin now. She was afraid of fire, had witnessed terrible forest fires when both trees and animals had perished, the fire burned you, it hurt you but it obviously served these creatures. She saw the two dark haired males, they sat there and they looked benign enough, they didn't stare or move and so she decided to forget about them. She was so close to the tall male now that she could touch his long leg and she whimpered and didn't know what to do. How did she show him what she felt? She was so confused, so afraid. He was so huge, so obviously strong and she knew somehow that she didn't stand a chance against someone like that if he became hostile. She kept her head bowed, one step forth, two. She was mere inches away from him now and Glorfindel looked away, this was like introducing yourself to a nervous dog. She leaned forth, the strange hunger within so terribly strong and she was sweating as she sniffed his skin.

Glorfindel felt her warm breath against his skin and it tickled but he didn't move a muscle. He could smell her too, she didn't smell quite right, she was malnourished and weak and she probably had parasites too. But he did smell one thing more than that, she was absolutely female and she was aroused. It almost made him loose his calm, make a move. She wanted him, like an animal wants a mate when the season is right for it, but that was not the way it was supposed to be and he didn't want to sleep with her. She was so thin, and he saw lice in her hair and she should not be dictated by some animalistic need but make such choices from her heart and not like this.

She made mewling sound, sat on her haunches right in front of him and he didn't want to startle her, she tilted her head and her eyes were pleading. He took a deep breath, whispered softly. "Hello there? Do you speak?"

She jolted, pulled back with huge eyes but she didn't flee, she just sat there, looking confused. There was an emptiness in her eyes and he began to fear that she maybe was retarded somehow, He had never heard of a retarded elf but perhaps she had suffered some injury in the past? She almost growled, then she got closer again, eyes flickering and breath uneven and shallow. She was so fearful, he could smell it and by the Valar how he did pity her. How was he to reach her? He whispered again. "Speech, do you know how to speak?"

She tilted her head again, those sounds were so strange and yet she knew she had heard such sounds before, when? She tried to make her lips move like his had done but all she managed to produce was a slight hiss.

Glorfindel sighed."No, you do not know how to speak do you? Have you forgotten or have you been unable to do it your whole life I wonder?"

She flinched when hearing those sounds but nothing dangerous happened and she got bolder, he didn't move and she was getting curious too. Slowly she reached out and touched the thick braid of golden hair, if felt so soft against her skin, like the fur of some fluffy little animal and she let it slide through her hand and tried to nuzzle it, like she would her animal friends when they spent the cold winter in the cave. Glorfindel was rather wide eyed by now, she was acting like a child, her curiosity so obvious. Had she never encountered her own race before?!

When the male didn't react to her touching him she got even bolder. She bit her lower lip and prodded his shoulder with a finger, it was hard and warm and she let out a small gasp and her finger touched the tip of his nose and then the tip of his right ear. That made him wince, his ears were ultra-sensitive as on all elves and it felt a bit weird. She realized that she had done something wrong when he moved and whimpered, afraid that she had ruined her chance. She looked like a dog the owner has kicked and she cowered before him. The terror in her eyes was just a bit too much and he made a grimace. "I should not touch you, you might believe that I am encouraging you but I can't just sit here watching you sit there like that."

He slowly raised an arm and het his fingers slide along her cheek, very softly and gently and she whimpered and closed her eyes but she didn't pull back. She was so confused, did he like her then? How did she convince him of her fitness and strength? How did she show him that she was a female it would be wise to mate with? She got desperate and tried to act like the animals she had seen, she rolled onto her back, wriggled herself, got up and imitated a pair of cranes she had once seen with calls and everything and Glorfindel had never seen anything that peculiar or bizarre ever! It was rather obvious that she wanted him to mount her and he would have laughed his guts out if this hadn't been so tragic. She gave her all, tried in every way thinkable to show him she was elegant and fit and strong, he didn't seem to react at all and she just sat down in front of him, sighing. There was despair in her eyes and he felt sorry for her. She was beautiful in her own way, with more flesh on her bones he was sure she was stunning and he wouldn't have hesitated a second if a sane elleth looking like her came to him looking for a good time.

He reached out again, touched the matted tangled hair that looked like felt. "I am sorry pretty one, I would be taking advantage of you if I did what you want of me, it wouldn't be right, not for any of us.."

She scoffed and tried a last desperate attempt, she spun around on all four and he suddenly had her shapely although painfully skinny derriere right in front of him. She was ready, there was no doubt about it and she whimpered like a puppy that has been whipped. She was suffering and he groaned and swore. "Alright then, I may offer you some comfort and perhaps end your misery too but I will not fuck you, no way. Although, I doubt you understand what I am saying."

He laid a hand on her ass and the skin was soft and warm and she did freeze up, then she turned her head and her eyes were wide with shock and a desperate hope. The twins sat there with eyes that had gotten very huge indeed and he threw them a rather cold glare. They got pale and started staring down at their own feet instead. He got affected by what he saw, he wouldn't have been male if he hadn't but he kept himself under strict control. He wasn't going to do anything stupid.

She could barely believe it, he touched her! She just surrendered, hoping that the hungry sensation would be gone whence he had done it. She had seen how the animals did it and they rarely did it more than once and then they didn't care for that sort of activities again for at least a year. She was ready, she just hoped that it wouldn't hurt or anything but the animals didn't act as though there was pain involved even though it looked a bit brutal at times, in fact they almost appeared to be liking it.

Glorfindel sighed and shook his head in disbelief, of all the things he had done. He let his hand slide up the inside of a very thin thigh and his fingers found slick wetness where her legs met, she let out a strange sound, a sort of hoarse gasp and she started to tremble. Poor thing, she was obviously a stranger to also this kind of emotions. She stood there on all four in front of him swaying her back and being the very picture of erotic need and wantonness. She had no idea of how arousing that was but he wasn't going to give in.

Instead he started caressing her with his hand and he had no problems finding her most sensitive spot and he let his thumb play with it while he slowly let two fingers enter her wet tight opening. She had closed her eyes, her mouth open and she was making some exquisite sounds of pure pleasure. She was in fact rocking herself back and forth against him and he grinned, he could hear her heavy breathing and her heartbeat was fast and hard too.

She had never felt anything like that, it was so good, no, it was more than good. It was all consuming and so strong it took all of her control away from her, she wanted to scream in sheer joy but she had long ago got used to never make much noise. She had had no idea that her body could produce such feelings and why hadn't she sought some male to mate with before? The touches were like fire but such a delicious flame it was, she wanted more of it, oh so much more. He was just using his hand and not those male parts of him but she didn't care, all she needed was for him to continue touching her like that.

Glorfindel was rather certain that she was a virgin, she was too tight to have had real sex before and the discovery sort of shocked him. She was rather old even among elves and still untouched? That was strange indeed and he was more eager than ever to solve the mystery of her life and existence. He increased the speed of his hand and she arched, so wet it was dribbling down her legs and then she screamed and trembled violently in what had to be her first release in a long time if not ever. He held her tightly, allowed her to calm down in his arms and she just lay there, panting and gasping and her eyes were wide with shock and glazed with pleasure. He touched her chin gently. "Now, that felt good didn't it? You needed that badly, so what am I to do now?"

He gently lifted her and she was shivering still, probably from the physical contact but she didn't try to resist him and he made her sit up leaning back against his strong body. She was trembling and he felt how her thin body probably had no reserves whatsoever. He wondered how she survived the winters. He opened a pack of Lembas bread and held a piece in front of her mouth, she sniffed it with suspicion and looked confused. He took a small bite and she tilted her head and stared at the bread with a strange expression. "Try it, it won't bite you"

It was such a strange thing to say but he didn't come up with anything else. She swallowed and nibbled at the piece, then she almost bit his finger as she desperately tried to get all of it at once. "Whoa there, hungry are we?"

He broke of a new piece, rather large and she grasped it with her hand and started stuffing her face desperately. He felt his heart drop in his chest, gods, she was so hungry!? No wonder she looked like a freaking skeleton. She probably hunted but maybe she wasn't that skilled at it. She burped and didn't seem as though she thought that was rude. She had no manners whatsoever. "You are very charming, I bet your eating habits would be truly admired by everyone."

He had to laugh and she yelped and looked nervous again. "You just ate enough to make two adult males full for days."

She sensed that he wasn't hostile, the tone of the sounds he made was light and friendly and she hesitated, then she pushed her face up along his, like a cat greets its owner. Glorfindel had to chuckle. "You are an affectionate one, I wish I knew more about you though."

She wanted to stay there with him, he had given her food, that had to mean something right? She had often seen that males brought food to their mates. She felt stuffed though, and thirsty and she licked her lips. The river was far away and she didn't want to leave him, he was so warm and comfortable to lean up against. Glorfindel grinned to himself, yes, she was thirsty. He held up the wine skin and pretended to take a sip and she stared at him with wide eyes, it smelled nice? It smelled like berries and fruit and she leaned forward eagerly. He held the opening to her mouth and she started drinking as if she had been completely parched. It did taste so good, she had never tasted anything like that before and she had to be stopped before she drank all of the wine in one go. She burped again and wiped her mouth and grinned, her teeth were pretty and white and she blinked and looked a bit confused.

Glorfindel knew that she was unused to alcohol, she would feel the effect of it rather fast and so he let her lean back against his chest and he caressed her arms gently and hummed, he knew that sound was very soothing and she relaxed. He saw lice crawling in her hair and he cringed. He didn't like to have her this near to his own body but he had to. He hoped that she would fall asleep and she was making some faint sounds, pulled her knees up and yawned. She trusted him, it was rather strange but true. Before long her eyes got distant and unfocused and her breath got very slow and steady. She was asleep.

Glorfindel let out a sigh of relief and let her rest against the ground, he had to work fast now. He gestured towards the twins and they got up and got closer. Elladan was blushing, he had been rather affected by what he had seen and heard and he tried to avoid looking at her. Glorfindel pulled a blanket over her, just to keep her warm. "She is full of lice and fleas, and so thin. She probably has got parasites and look at all those infected flea bites. I wonder how she has been able to survive here alone."

Elrohir was the best healer of the two, he had gotten his pack of equipment from the saddle and sat down next to her. He grasped onto her arm and shook his head. "She is just skin and bones, I don't think she would have lasted another winter to be honest. Like Glorfindel said, she is probably rather weak. "

He got a sharp knife from the pack and started cutting away all the matted tangled hair. It was teeming with life and he cringed. Elladan was preparing a salve to cover the irritated skin and Glorfindel examined her arms and legs, in shock of the number of small scars and marks he could find. He had warmed some water and was washing her with a soft cloth and he lifted the blanket and sighed. "Elrohir, when you are finished shaving her head, there is yet another job for you to do, down here!"

The peredhel winced. "Aii, does she have lice there too?"

Glorfindel nodded. "Most certainly."

Elrohir remover all the hair he found except her eyebrows and then they washed her all over with some medicine made from herbs and powders they had brought. It should remove the infections. Elrohir then boiled up a concoction that should take care of any parasites within and they managed to get most of it into her. They had to do it now when she was asleep since it tasted so terribly she never would drink the stuff otherwise. She did look awful, her skull bare and covered with nasty red bites and Glorfindel felt his heart weep for her. Elrohir stroked her cheek carefully. "Poor thing, what are we to do now?"

Glorfindel sighed. "Make her trust us enough to follow us home, she won't make it out here alone, not for much longer anyhow. Sooner or later some orcs are gonna get her."

Elladan nodded and took out a kettle. He was going to prepare a decent meal for them all and he had already skinned a rabbit Elrohir had caught and now he was making stew. Glorfindel had burned all the lice infected hair and the cloth he had used to wash her. It had become dark grey with grime and they were shocked to see how pale she really was. She couldn't have washed herself for ages, a bath in the river didn't remove anywhere near enough of the mud and grime clinging to her skin. They wrapped her in blankets and just allowed her to sleep, she would probably sleep until the next morning and Glorfindel laid down next to her to keep her safe and comfort her if she woke up in the middle of the night.

Strange images danced in front of her eyes, she could not find the words to describe them for she had no such things as words but she did recognize feelings. And slowly she made some sense of what she saw in her drug induced sleep. It was her past, a life she no longer knew and yet it had been real. She had turned away from her mother and foster father after the truth had been revealed, in the beginning it was just a youthful rebellion, born out of shock and dismay more than real resentment or anger. Then as she grew she got more aware of what the truth meant, what her father had done and what that family really had caused. It made her so ashamed of herself. Aira tried desperately to mend the wound in her daughter's soul but to no prevail. Halariel had indeed inherited a lot from her father's blood, and first and foremost was a stubbornness so strong it was rather frightening.

Halariel became withdrawn, most of the Avari tribe didn't in any way hold her parentage against her, she was after all an innocent child and could not be blamed for her own conception but some were different. Some did in fact react to her with rage, disgust or even open hostility and every time she got more hurt. When she came of age she refused to celebrate and she did also refuse to take a lover, she never let anyone touch her. In her own eyes she was tainted and the tales she heard made her more and more convinced that she was just as cursed as her father's family had been. She preferred her own company and when her mother and her mate finally had a child together Halariel became withdrawn for real. She sought only her own company and Aira tried again and again to prevent her daughter from becoming a parody of an elf. She failed.

Halariel waited until her mother had three children before she left for good, by then Aira had more or less given up on making Halariel a normal elleth, it was too late. The overly tall female was vary of anyone she didn't know, she was bitter and her sometimes hostile behavior just confirmed what many believed about her father's family. She knew she had an uncle alive but she would never approach anyone of her relatives, never. She knew what her father had done to her dear naneth and she didn't see that she herself was causing just as much hurt and harm. She was too young and inexperienced to be able to see the greater picture.

She left, she stayed in the woods and travelled east and then south. On the way she learned how to use both blade and bow from friendly encounters and some not so friendly ones. She became the shadows and the dark, she became cold lonely nights and solitude. She became the wolf, the wanderer, the restless ghost roaming the forests almost never seen by anyone. Slowly she forgot, and when she reached her valley most of it was gone already. Her mother just a memory of warmth and love and her past life something to be thrown away like a worn out rag. She was a new being, and a new life awaited her.

The morning light was slowly turning the dark night into a new day and Glorfindel had been sitting by the fire for quite a while when she woke up. She jerked and made a startled cry when she felt the blankets around her, and her body felt so weird? She didn't understand anything. Then he was there and he was humming softly and her fear did subside a bit, the soft things that were wrapped around her kept her so warm and it felt comfortable. Then she noticed something else, her head felt so light, and so cold? She lifted her hand after having pulled her arm free from the blankets and she yelped when she felt nothing but her scalp. She hissed, a sense of rage rose in her but it too died down. Somehow she realized that they only had tried to help her. She remembered the intense itching and she had had no way to get rid of the vermin.

Glorfindel smiled and held a bowl in his hand, it was filled with something that smelled so good it made her stomach rumble and she sat up in the blankets and let him hand her the bowl and a wooden spoon. She stared at the utensil with confusion but then a faint memory started to form deep within her and she slowly put the spoon into the bowl and lifted some stew towards her mouth with it, her head tilted and her eyes filled with intense concentration. Glorfindel grinned and nodded. "You have some memories still, good!"

She stared at his mouth, language, speech, she was starting to remember that these sounds were a way of communicating. "Aa?"

Glorfindel nodded and smiled. "Yes, try. You have got it, I am sure you do, somewhere."

She took a hesitant taste of the stew and then she wolfed it down and ended up with stew everywhere, she ate like a toddler would but she had never felt so eager when it came to food. It was so good and when the bowl was empty she felt a sense of bliss and fell back onto the blankets with a sigh. Glorfindel found a piece of fabric in Elrohir's bags and washed the stew off her face, her eyes were distant and dreamy and he caressed her cheek gently. "We have to feed you a lot from now on, you are so underweight."

She heard the care in his voice and nuzzled his hand and he had a peculiar expression on his face and he sat down and smiled at her. "I wish I knew your name, I can't just call you it, or elleth. I am Fin, do you remember your name?"

She cocked her head, he pointed at his own chest and repeated the short version of his name and she tried to form that noise. It represented him, she just knew it, it was who he was. She swallowed and her lips tried to mimic the sound. She was good at mimicking animals but this was way harder. She managed to make some strange growling sound and he laughed. "No, that was not quite right, keep trying. I will keep you company today, the other two are hunting so it is just the two of us."

She continued trying and after many attempts she managed to say his name, sort of. At least he did understand what the sound was and she was beaming with pride. It felt so good laying there with him close and she leaned forth and sniffed him again, enjoyed the masculine scent of his skin and the silkiness of his hair. She remembered that her own hair had been just as nice, but when? She felt that longing sensation again, was it possible to experience that good feeling again? She held her breath, rubbed her thighs together, yes, it was the same need and she whimpered, confused and a bit shocked. Glorfindel saw how her eyes changed and he noticed her scent to, she wanted him again and he sighed and touched her cheek. "You are at it again aren't you? But never mind, if I can make you trust me then it is a good tool, and I have no problems with it. "

He gently got the blankets out of the way and she gasped and reached for him, let her hands slide through the soft golden locks. He kissed her neck and she yelped, she had no idea of what this was but it felt nice and it made the heat inside of her burst into open flames once again. He pushed himself downwards and proceeded to kiss her nipples. That made her squeal and writhe and her breath was getting heavy and fast. He kept teasing her. She was clean now and he allowed himself to touch her more than the last time, he ached when he felt how skinny she was but she would survive. It was really in the nick of time they had found her, another winter would have been the death of her for sure. She had gone too far to be able to prepare herself for the upcoming winter.

He kept licking and sucking her breasts as he caressed her with his hand and she surrendered completely, opened her legs willingly and he brought her slowly towards the heights of passion. She screamed as she came, arched up, her hands digging into the blankets and she was covered with sweat and her eyes burning with emotions. There was really a strange light in her eyes, like some internal fire. She came down from her high slowly, panting with her eyes closed and she gasped when the last tremors rushed through her body. She was glorious, so passionate and eager and he was getting tempted to go all the way. But she was too weak, he would have to wait. And perhaps she would change her mind when she got stronger and her mind more normal. If that ever happened.

The twins returned from the hunt with some grouse and three rabbits and a marmot. They were careful not to startle her and she was a bit curious, the two looked like they were exactly the same person but they were two, not one and she tried to wrap her head around that. She felt sticky and wet after the activity she had participated in and Glorfindel helped her up and escorted her down to the river. She washed and went into the bushed to relieve herself, she had a strange feeling in her stomach and sat there for quite a while and afterwards she returned to the river again to clean off. It was no doubt that the concoction Elrohir had made had had its effect for she had passed a rather terrifying amount of parasites.

She looked shocked and scared and Glorfindel was holding her and mumbling soft words to her, she calmed down and she knew somehow that they had helped her again, that the filth inside of her would have killed her. That was why she was so hungry all the time and never put on weight. She leaned her head towards his shoulder and sighed, she felt grateful but what now? Her head felt funny, she was constantly seeing these weird images and she never really knew what they were. Perhaps he could help her making sense of it all?

Glorfindel saw the expression in her eyes, the lost and faraway look., he smiled and kissed her brow. "I will help you, trust me, I will. You have chosen me and I do not take such things lightly."

She felt a sort of reassurance hearing those words, as if she on some level had started to understand this speech thing again. She grinned and just sat there, leaning towards him and Glorfindel smiled to himself. Some more days, and they could start on the journey back home, if she wanted to join them that was, but he was sure she would. And Elrond would be thrilled to see her, after all, her father had fostered him as an elfling and to see that Maedhros in fact did have offspring would come as a major surprise but hopefully a happy one. The only question was, what in the name of Eru was she to wear? She could not travel buck naked, not that it bothered him but how about everybody else. They would have to come up with some ingenious solution there, sacrifice one of the blankets or something.

He tickled her flanks and she giggled and hit after his hand, there was a childishness to her that was very charming but he did sense that she had some very dark moments in her past. He just hoped that they could help her overcome them.

The small meadow was peaceful, butterflies and birds were flying around, a few deer were grazing and the sun shone brightly. The figure that suddenly appeared in the middle of it was very large and he was glowing slightly, the animals didn't notice him at all, after all, he wasn't their concern. He sighed, shrunk to a more normal size and took a look at the surroundings. Why here? It was not many who travelled through this area, well, perhaps that was for the better. He hadn't liked their suggestion a bit, and he would have openly gone out against it if he hadn't known that their arguments were sound. It was not the way it should have been, it was interrupting with his plans. After all, the dead were his responsibility, his to rule. He was perhaps the doomsman and feared by all but he was never unjust, and this was just that, unjust. It was not the way it was supposed to be, it was more towards cruelty the way he saw it. Punishment was one thing, torture something entirely different, in special when the fëa in question already was repentant and did regret its deeds.

The others had thrown their arguments at him, and he had to agree with them, if it was possible then it would greatly benefit them all, but if it wasn't? He knew every soul out there, each and every one of them and he also knew that one soul of whom they spoke, the one who shouldn't have been, the one not even Eru had planned. How could that have happened? Everything was within the song, but this one being was not! It was a loose cannon on deck, a hazard. Someone like that in the hands of the enemy could cause irreparable damage, just look what had happened to Celebrimbor. And if this one was like the rest of the family? They had to know, but they could not intervene, not directly. So someone had to do it for them, and who was better than this one soul?

Nàmo shook his head, he made a gesture and a body appeared out of the very blue, laying on the grass in front of him, it was perfect, just like the first one this soul had been clothed in and the master of the halls sighed deeply. It was in truth cruel, he wasn't even sure that this soul would be able to cope with the shock of being re-embodies thus. He had a sense of understanding when it came to this one, some of them had been cruel, some had just followed or been dictated by their pride but this one, this one had done it out of a sense of duty, out of a fear of disappointing his father, out of youthful and unrestrained anger. The oath, that was the thing that started the whole mess, or rather, Melkor had been. And the family problems, not to forget them. If not Fëanors mother had refused to ever be reborn much of this wouldn't have happened.

But he never did blame the dead, the living yes, rather often but never the dead, never those in his realm. Whatever they had done and whatever their punishment was he always did what he had to do with a sense of respect, even of love. Only if they did repent and saw the errors of their ways could they truly be free and thus he helped them overcome the traumas life had thrown at them.

This was…wrong. It was wrong in every way but he had to obey his brother. Manwë had given specific orders and yet Nàmo had a feeling that they had hidden something from him, something very important. He didn't like that, no, he didn't like it a bit. So he had done a few things too, things of which they were oblivious. The hunger for knowledge and power could sometimes lead even the righteous ones out into dangerous terrain.

He held the tiny spark that was a fëa in his grasp and then he suddenly and forcefully joined it with the new body laid there before him. The creature jerked violently and gasped, heaved for air and he bent down and kissed its brow with an expression of sadness and love before he became invisible once more. "Forgive me child, forgive me for what I have done to you, forgive me for letting them talk me into this. The world you left was cruel, it has not became any less so I fear. You will suffer, that is all I can promise you, but I pray that you have the strength to do what you must. See it as an opportunity to redeem yourself. And blame me not, for I am not the one behind this."

The creature jerked again, limbs moving in spasms, eyes opening staring up at the skies, wide with fear and agony. A hoarse cry forced its way out of the mouth, he clawed at his throat, wheezed and coughed. Eyes rolling in his head, his body trembling violently. A tortured mind slowly started to gain control of his hroa, grey eyes stared at the meadow, filled with utter confusion. What had happened? Where was he? He had jumped, felt the searing heat consume his flesh and his last breath had been filled with flames, had scorched his throat. He whimpered, what was this? His throat hurt still, terribly in fact. And he felt so strange, so weak?

He tried to get up, couldn't find his balance and fell onto his knees, think, just think. His mind tried to make sense of it all but it couldn't, the last thing he remembered was that final decision, to end his existence knowing he was to vile and evil for the silmarils to accept him, and it was the same with his brother. He lifted his head, his brother? Where was he, where was Maglor? He sat up, stared around him. This was not familiar terrain? He was in a forest, but he didn't know it and he was buck naked and without any weapons or tools. He whimpered, tried to call out, to see if anybody was there but he only managed to create a sort of hoarse cawing sound. His throat had been so damaged he couldn't speak and he felt how a terrible feeling of despair descended upon him, choking him. How was he to find his brother now? This wasn't the halls of Mandos, of that he was sure and it wasn't Valinor at all. This was Arda and he had no idea of where he was.

He stared down at himself, he was as he had been or wait a minute, not quite, his right hand was where it should be? He moved it with huge eyes, it had been returned to him, as if it never had been cut off. What was this? He gasped with gratitude and opened and closed it several times, just to get the feel of it again. It was…it was simply too much. Was he alive again, was he dead? He had no idea.

He slowly managed to get up, to gather his body and he felt weak like a toddler. There was no strength in him, he had problems walking and it did take him quite a while before he mastered his balance and was able to move in an efficient way. What had happened to him? Why? He slowly walked through the forest and tried to make a sort of mental map of the area. To the north west there was some huge mountains and to the south some lower rolling hills, he didn't know that he was somewhere between the Ettenmoors and mount Gram and the Coldfells.

He didn't feel cold and he started to find his strength again after a couple of hours, the forest wasn't very dense and it was filled with light and life and he started to feel a little better. As all elves he did love the forest and he found it beauty breathtaking. He felt hungry though, and thirsty and he quenched his thirst in a small stream. He did find some berries and they were ripe so he ate all he could of them. He hadn't seen anyone yet and he tried to walk south, why he did not know but it felt as though he had to go in that direction, that there was something he needed to do. He was walking down a gentle slope among the trees when he suddenly heard something moving in the bushes not too far away from him.

He froze, he had no idea of what kind of enemies he might encounter there and he had nothing he could use to defend himself. He held his breath, a snorting sound could be heard and he gasped. A wild boar, there were few animals as dangerous as those wild pigs and even when on horseback they were an enemy he rarely would go up against freely. The tusks could gut both a horse and a man or ellon very easily and he shivered and looked for a place to hide. There were none, the forest floor was even with not even a tall rock and the trees were slender and tall with no branches. The boar appeared, a huge male, the biggest he had seen and it was angry. It had smelled that there was something there, something alien to its territory and it was not going to let this thing, whatever it was, get away without having shown it who the boss of this area was.

He reacted on instinct, and did the wrong thing. He ran. He knew he couldn't outrun a wild boar and yet he tried. He ran downhill so fast he almost went flying and he did in fact keep his distance for a while. He spotted some ragged cliffs ahead along a small river and ran towards them with the boar right behind him. He almost made it, almost.

The boar did toss its huge head upward and a tusk caught him in his thigh, tore through skin and flesh and his speed was so great he ran the last steps to the cliff barely on his forward momentum. He jumped onto the cliff, got up where the boar could not go and there his injury kicked in, the leg gave in under him and he fell forward, the leg got caught in a crack in the rock and he felt and heard a disgusting cracking noise and felt something being twisted both in his knee and hip. The agony was unbearable, white lightning shot through his body and he threw his head back and screamed. The boar did actually get scared from the sound and ran and he laid there with the leg twisted in the crack and felt how his consciousness was slipping away.

He woke up, it was dark and he was alone in a strange place and severely injured. The wound was large and he had lost much blood already, he felt light headed and more so, he felt warm and cold. He was getting a fever, the tusk had been anything but clean and infection was setting in. He moaned and felt warm tears falling down his cheeks, had he come back to life just to die again, like this? Alone and afraid? Well, it wasn't that he didn't deserve it. He sobbed, just laid there while the pain shot through him like stabs from an orcs blade. He missed his brother, oh gods how he missed him. He missed them all, he had deserved this, perhaps this was his punishment for the sins he had committed? He was ready to let go and die, he felt nauseous and so terribly thirsty and more so, devoid of any hope.

He had passed out again and the next time he woke up he could barely open his eyes, they were swollen and his body felt so heavy and alien in a way, he didn't know why he wasn't dead already. Then he heard sounds, voices, laughter even. He flinched, a desperate fear rushed through him, he could not lose this chance, he had to let someone know. He called out, it sounded like the scream of some wounded animal but it had to be heard from afar for he laid all his might into that one scream he managed to push out of him. Then he fell back again, the world spinning in front of his eyes, his field of vision shrinking. The last thing he saw was a round face with blond hair and blue eyes and a simple leather band to keep the hair out of the face. A young human. Then the world went black.


	3. The choices we make

Chapter Three: The choices we make

She was simply amazed by it all, the gentleness they showed her and the food they gave her and everything. She felt so much better now and she felt her strength return to her, it was weird but she hadn't realized that she had grown weak over the years. Now it became ever more apparent that she wouldn't have lasted that much longer and she felt a strong sense of gratitude towards the three ellyn and the tall golden haired one in special. She managed to pronounce his name now and she never wanted to leave his side.

Glorfindel was a bit shocked by her lack of inhibitions, she had forgotten everything about proper behavior and she acted like some child with very forgiving parents. He tried to teach her to speak again but it sort of failed most of the time, she had the attention span of a squirrel but he couldn't stay mad at her. She was just too sweet and he tried to make her understand that she should show some restraint when it came to some types of behavior but to no prevail. She had some sort of untamed and fierce joy of being alive burning within her, and it was both uncouth and consuming. She seemed to live each minute to the full, caught within the very moment. She didn't think ahead or stop for even a second to consider her past, she was like an animal caught in the eternal now of those living as one with the powers of nature.

The twins were fascinated by her as well and they too tried to teach her some words, she accepted them by now, she didn't fear them and she even dared to touch them with the curiosity of a kid meeting someone new. The fact that they were identical was a source of never ending entertainment for her, she would sit there staring at them, tilting her head trying to find some visible difference between the two of them. Towards Glorfindel she acted like some overly cuddly kitten, always seeking his attention and he was sometimes a bit tired of her constant affection. She was charming in her own ways but she did sometimes test his patience and he didn't want to frighten her by shouting at her or becoming visibly angry.

They did sacrifice one of their blankets and the twins did take one of their shirts and managed to turn it into a sort of wide tunic for her. The blanket became a rather rough but still useable skirt and she did put the garments on with loud giggling and ran around beaming with joy. To her these not very nice clothes were wonderful. Glorfindel had started planning their return to Imladris, he had presented her to the horses and he had managed to convince her of their benign nature. She was still acting very strangely and he didn't know if she ever had ridden a horse or if he would manage to make her follow them freely. He didn't want to drug her again but he knew that he had to if she refused to come with them. She could not remain there alone, the darkness was spreading once more, the watchful peace was coming to an end and there were orcs and other foul creatures everywhere.

So one morning they did pack their things again and put it all onto the horses and she stared at what they were doing with huge and wild eyes. She was obviously afraid that they were leaving her behind and she didn't protest at all when Glorfindel lifted her up onto his great white stallion and mounted the horse behind her. She just grasped onto the saddle horn and looked nervous but she didn't utter a single sound that could be any sort of protest. They rode out of the valley the same way as they entered it and it soon became very apparent that she had forgotten everything about the world outside of her tiny realm.

She stared at everything with huge eyes and Glorfindel did smile and tried telling her the names of the things she saw. She was learning now but she would often mix words and she didn't know how to put them together into sentences. She tried, that was very obvious to everybody but she failed miserably most of the time. Glorfindel just hoped that she would continue trying, that the problems didn't cause her to give up.

They rode down a rather wide valley with gentle slopes and a small river in the middle, the area was not as lush and beautiful as her valley had been, the soil was less rich and could not support such fertile woodlands. But there were wildlife enough and they did trust the trees and the land itself to warn them if any dangers did appear.

Glorfindel had her sitting across his thighs in front of him and in the beginning she was obviously afraid that she would fall for she did hang on to the saddle as if her life depended upon it but after a while she started to relax a bit and leaned more against him. Not that it was all that comfortable but at least it felt better for his horse. It would take weeks to get back home and he just hoped that nothing would interfere with their long journey. He didn't want to end up in a fight with her there with them, she was vulnerable and maybe even unable to determine whether or not things could pose a threat. The twins had to be extra alert from now on, to make up for the fact that she stole his attention most of the time.

Irelen was busy going through a sack of wool when she heard shouting and running feet, she immediately got back up, stared in the direction of the sounds. She just felt it, something was wrong. The men had left earlier that day to go looking for the material needed for weaving baskets and they shouldn't return this early. She dropped the bag and got out of her small hut, the son of her neighbor, a tall blond boy stopped in front of her, he was panting and had obviously been running very hard. "What is the matter Lannam? "

She was nervous something bad had happened to any of them, the village was small, everybody knew each other and depended upon each other too and almost every soul there was related in some way. The boy caught his breath. "We heard someone scream, and then we found a wounded elf."

Irelen gasped, she didn't quite believe what the boy had said. "An elf? By the gods, there hasn't been elves in this area for a long time?"

Lannam nodded. "I know, but it is an elf, and he is messed up pretty bad. We need your help Irelen."

She just stared at the boy, too shocked to really be able to do anything, then she saw the men coming down the path from the woods, carrying a stretcher and she took a deep breath and snapped out of her shock. She yelled at them. "Bring him here, hurry."

She ran back inside, put a clean sheet and a blanket onto her bed and put a kettle with water over the fire. Her hut was small but well equipped, being the mayor's sister had given her some privileges and being the village healer even more.

The men came in with the stretcher and she gasped when she saw the figure on it, first of all, he was so tall the stretcher was more than two feet too short, his head and his lower legs just dangled from it, and he was naked. She blushed, she was of course used to seeing naked men, it was just natural in her job but she had never seen an elf before and he was beyond beautiful. It was like seeing an angel. The men lifted the elf onto the bed and she heard a moan from him, filled with agony. Lannam looked as if he was in despair. "Is he gonna die Irelen? He is so pretty, and so big. He lay on the cliffs outside of the holt of beeches."

Irelen sighed and started looking over the injuries. "I do not know Lannam, I have to check his injuries first before I can even start to guess whether or not he will live."

She saw that wound in his thigh and she could see that it had to have been caused by an angry boar, she had seen her fair share of those before, and it usually spelled trouble. He was burning with a fever and she thought she had read that elves are tougher than humans when it comes to such injuries but he had to have been laying there for more than a day. The infection was far spread and she could in fact smell it too.

She grasped Lannam. "Go get your brothers, I will need some strong hands here, his knee and hip is dislocated and I need someone strong enough to pull them back in place."

Lannam cringed. "Oh gods Irelen, that has to hurt like…"

She nodded. "It does, but it has to be done before the joints get too damaged, go now."

He just ran and she saw that the entire village had gathered on the outside of her cabin, curious and worried. Elves were so rare to come across there and they had great respect for them. She couldn't believe the size of the elf, how tall was he? He would be towering above her if he had been standing up and she rolled him over onto his side with some effort and started cleaning the wound. She used herbs her mother had taught her about and then she cut away the infected tissue and let it bleed for a while before she stitched the gaping wound up. It did look bad, very bad but hopefully it would heal.

She made a concoction of herbs and then she carefully lifted his head and poured a little at a time down his throat, he did swallow and she hoped that it would lower his fever. The boys returned and she looked at the swollen knee with narrow eyes. It looked grotesque, so black and huge and she just hoped that the ligaments and joint weren't too injured. The hip was a problem too, it would take some serious tugging to get it back into position and it was going to be a tug of war with him as the rope. Lannam's brothers were huge and strong and they stared at the elf with awe and a bit of fear too. They knew so little about the firstborn and neither of them had ever seen one. The oldest of them, Grim, touched the long silky locks of red hair with narrow eyes. "Grandpa saw an elf once, and he didn't say anything about it being so huge?"

Irelen shook her head. "He, not it, he! And some elves are very tall, the very ancient ones I think."

They accepted her wisdom, she had learned to read and write and that had brought her some respect which women usually never enjoyed there. She nodded. "We will deal with the hip first, Grim, grasp him under the arms, hold back as hard as you can. Lannam, Olrich, you grasp his thigh and pull. I will show you how. "

She had placed a towel over the elf's crotch, just to protect the modesty of them all and still the young men winced and looked uncomfortable. The idea of touching another male was not all that tempting. She frowned. "Now!"

The boys sprang into action and grasped onto the body and she directed them. The leg had to be both pulled and twisted a bit and after some attempts she heard the clicking sound that told her it was back in place but it caused the injured elf to scream in agony and the sound made the three boys pale and a bit green. "Poor fellow, gods!"

Irelen nodded. "Yes, it is agonizing but it had to be done. And now, the knee!"

They all pulled once more and she guided the joint back into place, it made them all cringe since the elf was making some awful half choked groans in pain but they managed to get that back in place rather quickly. Irelen grinned. "Thank you boys, and now I will give you another task. Please, see to it that everybody goes back to their homes? They are doing nothing good standing outside of my door like that."

The boys just grinned and she went back to work, washing the joints with herbs that should decrease the swelling and bleeding and some that removed pain too. Then she bandaged the knee to prevent it from becoming dislocated again if the elf moved and put some sort of sling onto the hip too. It took a lot to dislocate that joint so it was little danger that it would happen again, ever. She made the elf drink even more herbs and then some pure water and when that was done she sat down. She had done what she could, now it was up to the gods if he was to live or die.

The village was in an uproar, the men who had been there when Lannam found the elf had to answer all sorts of strange questions and Lannam was the one who got most questions of all and he refused to answer the most stupid ones. He suddenly felt like an important person and not just the blacksmiths youngest son and his face had gotten a serious expression. Some of the women were giggling and asking if there was great difference between an elf and a man and Lannam blushed and refused to say anything, he didn't want the elf to be overrun by curious womenfolk. Finally most of the villagers returned to their homes to chat some more and the small square became silent once more. Lannam let out a sigh of relief and returned home too, this day had been far too exciting.

He felt himself burn, felt how the extreme heat made his flesh catch fire and his blood boil and he screamed in agony and tried to escape the inferno. Then he opened his eyes and yelped, no fire but still there were pain and he didn't know where he was. He stared straight up into a roof made from reeds and woven twigs and it smelled of herbs and smoke. He felt terrible, nauseous and weak and his head was spinning. He groaned and closed his eyes, remembered the boar and the wound and he tried to move but found that he couldn't. He was wrapped tightly in blankets that smelled of sheep and he opened his eyes again. Someone had found him and the smells told him that this had to be a healers home but not a healer like the ones he was used to.

A face appeared through the semi darkness, it was a woman and it was obvious that she was well above her youth. Her dark hair had streaks of grey and her face was wrinkled but she looked very kind and there was a softness in her eyes that calmed him a bit. She smiled and sat down on a chair next to the bed. The room looked very simple, no decent furniture and no colors to speak of, this was a poor persons home. "Relax beautiful one, fear not. I have done what I can to help you, now it is up to your Gods."

He did understand her, she spoke a language he had heard the humans use but her dialect was very strange and she spoke rather slowly too. He shivered, the agony in his thigh was almost unbearable and his knee was throbbing and so was his hip. She lifted a hand and he felt a cold cloth being pressed against his brow, it did feel good and he winced, he didn't deserve this kindness. She was just a human but she should not waste her precious time on someone like him. He was condemned, an abomination. He whimpered and tried to turn his head away from her hand and she sighed and touched his cheek gently. "I know I am just human, you would probably prefer that someone of your own race took care of you but there are no other elves here in this area. You just have to accept me I am afraid."

He wished that he could explain to her that she was wrong in her assumptions, he didn't mind at all that she was human. He tried to speak but couldn't, the only sounds he managed to create were hoarse coughs and she tilted her head and looked at him with such pity. "Are you a mute my lord? Oh gods, what dreadful destiny."

He felt a tear running down his cheek, why he wept he did not know but perhaps he did weep for himself, and the things that were lost. He felt so alone, like there was an endless void surrounding him and he sobbed and wished to hide in a deep black hole. She was there with the cloth again, wiped the sweat away from his brow and then she went over to the hearth and came back with a cup. "Here my lord, this will ease the pain and perhaps help you fight the fever too."

He drank the terrible liquid with a grimace but he did feel that it worked, the agony wasn't that sharp anymore, more of a dull ache than a throbbing stabbing pain. She stroked his hair and for a moment he remembered his mother, how she had tucked him in at night when he was just a child and he whimpered once more. His mother, had anyone suffered more as a result of their deeds than her? He didn't think so, she was everything good and pure in this world and the memory of her the most precious thing he had.

The woman sighed and her face was sad. "Oh, I bet there is someone out there missing you right? But I do wonder what you were doing out there in the forest alone and naked."

He blushed, he hadn't really thought of that fact before now and even though the idea of being undressed in front of others of his kin didn't bother him the idea of having humans glaring at him did cause a slight discomfort. He closed his eyes and she smiled and pulled some of his long hair away from his face. "You reek of disease and sweat but fear not, when your wound closes up I will make sure that you get a bath."

He nodded, the thought was like a vision of heaven, he did feel sticky and smelly and just terrible. Then a new thought struck him, he didn't even know what year this was. A sense of dread overtook him and he started breathing faster, his eyes flickered and he was suddenly terrified. What had happened? He remembered the end of his life, how the Silmaril had burned his hand and how he had chosen death. How much time had passed by? Years? Centuries? He could not remember anything between his final moment of mental and physical agony and the awakening in the woods. She touched his shoulder gently, worry apparent in her gentle eyes. "My lord, what is wrong?"

She got nervous seeing his strange reaction, he was writhing and his eyes filled with tears and fear. He made those strange hollow sounds again and then he got his hand free and pretended to be writing something. She got a piece of hide and a stick from the fireplace and he made some strange symbols on it, she shook her head. "I do not know how to read your writing my lord."

He moaned, then he drew a sun and looked at her with a desperate plea in his eyes. "The sun? it is daytime yes, but it will be dark soon?"

He shook his head, groaning. He drew a line across the sun and marked the beginning and she realized that he wanted to know what time of the year it was, that was odd, he should know that? "It is summer my lord, I am sure you are aware of that? "

He rolled his eyes, drew a circle and pointed at the line. She did understand, didn't he know what year it was? She smiled. "I am not sure of what year this is the way you measure time, we call this year the year of the pig but it has been forty years since our area was under the rule of another tribe. I heard a merchant call this the third age though, and I think we are somewhere around year two thousand eight or nine hundred but I am not sure."

He just stared. The third age?! Valar protect him, several millennia had passed since his death, oh gods, they were probably dead, everybody he had ever known were dead and gone. He let out a wailing sound and covered his face with his hands, shivering and she stared at him in shock and confusion. Then she sat down on the bed and embraced him and he pressed his face into her neck and let his tears run free. He was lost, truly and utterly lost. He had no idea of what had happened in the world since his death and he sat there crying until fatigue overtook him and he fell into a restless sleep.

Irelen sighed and stroked the silky red locks, he looked so young but she knew that he probably was thousands of years old, but why had he reacted like that to what she told him? She sighed, she knew little about the firstborn and their lives and could just accept that something had caused him immense grief. She hummed softly and felt a sort of maternal protectiveness towards him, he was weak and wounded and in need of her aid and she would willingly help him in whatever way she could.

She got back up and started preparing some food and there was a soft knock on the door. She opened it and it was one of the other women of the village, she held a freshly plucked chicken in her hands and her eyes were shining with curiosity. "Here, make some soup from this, there is nothing better for the sick than chicken soup."

Irelen just gaped, such generosity was unexpected, after all, this was not one of their own. "I thank you Shela, I have only some dried rabbit meat and it won't last for long."

Shela went over and stared at the sleeping elf, there was something very reverent in her eyes. "I never thought that I ever would see one of the firstborn. Oh gods, he is so beautiful, please tell me he will survive?"

Irelen nodded. "Yes, his fever is going down now and elves are stronger than we are."

Shela sat down and sighed. "Has he told you anything? Who would wander around in the woods wearing only their skin!"

Irelen shook her head. "He is a mute, he cannot speak."

Shela gasped, her eyes filled with shock and disbelief. "No? Oh poor thing, that is tragic!"

Irelen made a grimace. "Yes, and I do not know how to read his language, I have no idea of where he has come from, and when I told him we are in the third age of the sun he almost broke down. There is something weird going on here."

Shela looked at him. "Do you think he is dangerous?!"

Irelen shook her head. "No, absolutely not, but there is something tragic about him, I can sense it. His soul is marred Shela, tormented somehow."

Shela gathered her skirts tighter around her legs. "So what are we to do with him? He cannot stay here?"

Irelen shook her head. "No, he needs his own people with him, someone who can understand him. I think I will suggest that someone escorts him south. There are elves living further south, in Rivendell. They can perhaps help him."

Shela nodded slowly. "Yes, I have heard of the hidden valley, and the wise lord of that place. It is a good idea Irelen."

She nodded. "I know, and it is probably the only solution too. But he cannot travel yet, he will need to recuperate and regain his strength and that knee has to get back to normal too. It will take weeks, even for an elf."

Shela tilted her head. "I wonder who he is? Too bad he is a mute."

Irelen made a grimace. "Yes, but he has something almost regal about him, he isn't just anybody, I can bet on that. He is someone of importance."

Shela shrugged. "Then why on earth did he end up in these woods buck naked, and chased by a boar?"

Irelen sighed. "I wish I knew but I sense the hands of the gods here, and there is nothing we can do about that, nor should we question their decisions."

Shela just sighed. "Of course not, I am just very curious."

Irelen smiled, the smile was a bit stiff. "You can make yourself useful? You can tell the others to leave him be until he has regained his strength, he needs to rest and I bet there will be a steady stream of people coming to my cabin now, just to see him."

Shela almost beamed with pride, she had the greatest respect for the healer and she grinned and got up. "Of course Irelen, I will do my best."

Irelen let the other woman out of the door and sat down, stared at the unconscious elf. "I wonder who you really are pretty one, oh how I wonder!"

It was dark when he woke up, the fire in the hearth had gone out and only a few embers threw a sort of shimmering light onto the surroundings. He saw that the woman slept on some rugs on the floor, it made him ashamed of himself. He was using the only bed there and it really was he who should be sleeping on the floor. He heard nothing from outside of the house, just the normal night sounds and he sighed and relaxed again. Why was he here? Why wasn't he dead? Perhaps this was his punishment? It would not surprise him at all, he did really deserve to suffer for all the wrong choices he had made.

He wondered if his brother had survived for long, or if someone had sought to avenge dead kin or friends and killed him, or if Maglor had done what he had. He saw their faces, all of them. And he missed them too, it was a burning hole in his soul where his family should have been and he wished that he could curse Morgoth again and again, scream out his hatred and anger. The woman moved in her sleep, restlessly and nervously and he forced himself to lay still so he wouldn't disturb her rest.

He felt the pain in his legs again, the medicine had stopped working and he grinded his teeth together and closed his eyes. He had survived worse, far worse. He still remembered the horrible time he had spent as a prisoner in Morgoth's own fortress, what the orc's had done to him. He also remembered hanging there on that mountain, barely alive and in constant fear and regret. He was not going to complain this time, no, absolutely not. The woman was taking care of him and he would get well again, and he had gotten his right hand back too. He should be able to cope with some pain.

After a while he did fall asleep again and he had a strange dream about mirrors, he was wandering through a veritable maze of them and he saw his own reflection everywhere and yet he knew he was seeking someone else, someone he didn't even know. It was a strange dream indeed and he woke up feeling exhausted and confused. The woman sat by the hearth, she had relighted it and she was stirring a pot, he felt a smell that made his stomach growl and he licked his lips and tried to sit up. She heard him move and turned her head, sent him a warm smile. "I am glad you are awake my lord, I will soon have some food ready for you, I bet you are hungry?"

He nodded and groaned, he managed to sit but it hurt and he also noticed something else, his bladder was full. He blushed and knew that he couldn't walk yet, his legs could not support his weight at all.

She got up and poured water into a cup, came over with it and he did drink it with gratitude but he made a grimace and felt terribly uncertain, how did he tell her of his predicament? She saw that something was wrong, he was blushing and his eyes were flickering around and his posture a bit stiff. "Is anything wrong?"

He blushed again, more or less like a beet. Then he pointed down at his groin, feeling like a darn idiot. She was a healer, he was sure she wasn't bothered by such natural things at all but he felt like a kid having been caught doing something very naughty. He made a sound that could be interpreted as running water and she grinned and tilted her head. "You have full bladder right? I guessed so, wait a second."

She turned around and went towards a simple closet made from roughly made wooden planks, she found something within it and returned with it. It was some sort of flask made from ceramics with a very wide neck and he felt his cheeks burn when she just handed it over to him. "Here, use this."

He whimpered and she sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fine, I will turn around, worry not."

She did in fact turn around and he removed the blanket and did what he had to do, it felt so awkward it made him shiver but he didn't spill anything and she carried the flask outside afterwards and emptied it there. He felt the scent of the village through the door, humans, sheep, cattle, horses. A dog was barking and a long haired cat took a curious peak in through the door while she was outside. There were children playing and he felt that this was a peaceful place, with few dangers if any. Could it be that the world was at peace now? Was the darkness conquered? He hoped so, with all of his heart.

She then brought him a huge bowl of the soup and he ate carefully, afraid to upset his stomach with too much food. But it tasted wonderfully and he did finish the bowl completely, he just used a long time on it. The woman sat there watching him and her eyes were very gentle. She was a soul of light, he could just feel it and he felt a deep gratitude towards her. Would she have acted with such kindness if she had known who or what he was? He felt as though he owed her the truth but how was he to tell? She couldn't read tengwar and he didn't know their alphabet either. She removed the bowl and smiled. "Later today I will let you have something solid to eat. Your fever is almost completely gone, I think it will do you good to eat something proper, not just soup."

He smiled and bowed his head, felt some of his strength return to him. Having a full stomach was wonderful and he felt a bit drowsy. His body needed the rest to heal properly and he laid down again, with his arms behind his neck. She pulled the blanket aside again and checked the wound, it was stitched up together again with a technique that told him she had done such things before, she was indeed very skilled and it was weird to find someone of such knowledge in a desolate little village like this.

Irelen saw the questions in his eyes and grinned. "I am the mayor's sister and I was once betrothed to a man of some wealth and influence, from a city out west from here. He wanted me to be able to rule his household and taught me how to read and write and I tried to learn as much as I could. Alas, he did die from the plague and I had to return to this place, and I became the village healer. It is not such a bad fate, just a little lonely at times."

He nodded to let her see that he did understand and she patted his hand and got back up. "The wound is almost closed up now, you heal very fast, I am amazed by it. And your knee isn't that swollen any more either, it is a good thing. I am glad."

He rubbed his hip, it hurt like hell and she smiled and tilted her head. "Yes, it was dislocated too but me and the boys managed to pull it back in place, you were really a bad mess for a while."

He winced, imagined being used as a rope in a tug of war and she sighed and touched his cheek gently. "Rest now, allow your body to heal itself. I know you elves can sleep yourselves well. When you are healed we will try to send you somewhere where there are other elves."

He nodded but somehow that idea didn't tempt him that much, other elves. They would for certain understand who he was and then they would turn their back to him or worse. He hid his sensation of fear from the woman and tried to drift off into sleep again, there wasn't really that much else to do.

After a while he did dozed off and he started dreaming right away. He was standing in the garden outside of his parent's house in Eldamar and he saw from the silvery light that it was nighttime and Telperion was glowing. He remembered this, this moment. It wasn't as much a dream as a memory. He walked through the garden, sat down onto a bench and stared at the stars, his heart filled with doubt and fear and also a strange confusion. His own father had threatened his own brother, well, half-brother if you insisted on being precise about it, and he wondered what this would do to their family. He of course knew his father's flaring temper and he had feared that something like this would happen, having sensed the feelings that were boiling just underneath his father's controlled expression. But what would happen? He feared that the Valar would punish them somehow, and not just his father but the whole bunch of them. Perhaps there was some truth in the words Melkor had spoken, that the Valar didn't want the elves to become too strong, too independent.

He almost jumped when he heard a sound from the bushes, he tensed up but relaxed when he saw that it was his cousin, Fingon. He jumped out of the bushes and sat down next to him, his eyes wide with disbelief. His cousin did take quite a chance showing up like that, after all, Fëanor wouldn't take it well if he saw his half-brother's son there in their garden. Maedhros sighed and didn't know what to say, Fingon had always been his best friend and he trusted him like none other and he feared losing this precious friendship. His cousin sighed too, leaned over and placed his head on Maedhros shoulder. "I think the world must be coming to an end, what a mess hu?"

He could only nod, yes, a mess indeed. "I guess so."

Fingon bit his lower lip, his eyes were a bit distant. "I have never heard so much shouting and yelling in my life and those words? It is a wonder none of the Valar dropped by and ordered them to wash their mouth's with soap, well, your father at least."

Maedhros closed his eyes in sorrow. "I am not surprised, I have heard him working in the forge and when something goes wrong he can be a bit….raw"

Fingon just whistled. "That was an understatement, but nevertheless, I am worried."

Maedhros turned his head, it felt good sitting there with his best friend like that, safe almost. He hoped that nothing would change this good relationship between them. Fingon shifted his weight and sighed again, Maedhros turned his head and saw that his cousin was staring down at the grass with a peculiar expression on his face. "What?"

Fingon turned his face towards him, his eyes were shiny and suddenly he lifted a hand and caressed Maedhros face gently. "I shouldn't be doing this, but I will not let anyone or anything separate us, if you ever got lost I would come searching for you, this I swear."

Maedhros was a bit shocked by his cousins words, he was very fond of Fingon and they were as close as they could be but what Fingon said spoke of far stronger feelings that just friendship. And it scared him, because he did to some extent recognize those feelings within himself too. And it was not allowed, they were cousins damn it, and both males. "Fingon?!"

Then his cousin leaned forth and kissed him and Maedhros just sat there and let it happen and there was a strange jolt flying through him, and he suddenly realized that everything had changed in that moment, that the whole world had somehow been remade, reorganized from this truth he now knew.

He had been kissed before, by both ellith and other ellyn but none had made him feel thus and he didn't know why but he answered the kiss, participated eagerly and threw his arms around his cousin, allowing the feelings to steal away all common sense, all hesitation or doubt. It was wonderful and forbidden and nothing had ever been like that moment, was it the situation with their parents that had pushed them into this? Was it fear? Desperation? He didn't know and he didn't care.

The dream ended there and he woke up slowly, staring at the ceiling with tears in his eyes, a terrible feeling of guilt washed through him and he ignored the agony and pulled his knees up, curled up like a child and let the tears run free, sobbed silently while his body shivered and shook in an onslaught of feelings too strong for him to fight. He had caused so much death, so much grief. He still remembered the burning ships, the terrible feeling of loss, the fear of never seeing Fingon again. Gods, it was more than he could bare there and then, memories drifted through his mind like a swarm of deadly arrows and he was helpless to fight them. The guilt and fear just had to run its course, until the bitter chalice was empty, if it ever would be.

He fell asleep once more, completely worn out by his emotional break down and he didn't know if it was day or night when he woke up again. The woman was sitting by the hearth with two other women and they turned their heads and stared at him and he felt himself blush and he pulled the blanket up underneath his chin and tried to look calm and friendly. The two women giggled and got up, they left the cabin after having thrown some very strange glances at him and he felt a bit better when he was left alone with the healer. She sat down on the bed and placed her hand on his forehead, "No fever, good. I will give you some food and then there is time for a bath, I think that will be a relief or what?"

He nodded eagerly but he didn't quite understand how he could get a bath there, there was no tub to be seen anywhere. The healer nodded her head. "We have a bath house here, the two you saw are going to start warming water and preparing the place. The boy who found you is coming too, to help you get over there. You must try to use your legs now but you cannot overexert yourself."

He stared at the healer and sighed deeply, bathing with more people present? Wonderful, just wonderful! Exactly what he needed now, swell! He covered his face with his hand and shook his head. Yes, he was being punished, beyond any doubt. He was gonna pay for all of his sins.


	4. Hidden within

Sorry its been so long since the last update on this story but I have had a lot of work to do lately so this had to wait. But here it is, chapter four.

Chapter four: Hidden within

They had been riding for a week when things started to change. The elleth was still as cuddly as a kitten and Glorfindel had a hard time keeping her at bay at times, she obviously had no sense of shame or privacy and he was starting to dread the reactions she would receive when they reached Imladris. It wasn't that elves were prudish but nobody would just tug their clothes off right in front of others, elflings could do that unpunished, not adults.

Glorfindel was sometimes close to exploding, it was like herding a flock of rabbits, she never paid attention to what they said and he wondered if she did understand anything at all. Was she damaged in the head? They rode through a rather narrow valley when she suddenly went stiff in front of him in the saddle and stared out into the forest surrounding them with wide eyes. Elrohir and Elladan frowned and didn't understand anything, she acted as though she was frightened and she tried to say anything, it was obvious. She pointed towards the forest and whimpered and Glorfindel felt the need to shake her violently. " Danger?"

She stared at him, nodding eagerly and he swore, she had been living alone for so long she was attuned to the woods in a way ordinary normal elves only could dream of. She was writhing in the saddle but suddenly she got very quiet, almost eerily so and her eyes were staring out into the semi darkness with a strange expression. Glorfindel was about to shake her when they heard the trees whisper, something was coming. The twins reined in their horses and prepared for a fight and suddenly they saw light, moving fast. A whole troop of orcs were heading towards them and Glorfindel took a deep breath, this didn't promise anything good. They were three and among the best warriors ever but the orcs were many and they were heavily armed. The three prepared to fight but something extremely odd happened. The orcs didn't seem to see them at all, they ran past them as if the three riders and horses were some sort of obstacle in the path, a huge rock or something. Glorfindel just stared, his sword in his hand and the twins were wide eyed.

The elleth gasped and seemed to almost swoon and Glorfindel realized how she had been able to live undetected for so long. She had some sort of protective magic and it had to be darn strong too. Elladan was staring still, the orcs had just run past them and they hadn't even bothered to look behind themselves. "What in the name of Sauron just happened?"

Glorfindel sighed and shook his head. " If you ask me I have no answer to give, whatsoever. She did it, that is the only thing I am sure of."

Elrohir was a bit pale. " Valar, how is that even possible?"

Glorfindel bit his teeth together and sighed. " I have no idea, but it has become even more important than before that we get back to Imladris fast."

Elladan petted his horse on the neck. " Right, if we ride hard we can make it in two weeks unless something unexpected happens."

Elrohir sent him a wry grin. "Well, at least we know that orcs won't be a problem."

Glorfindel almost growled. " Be not so sure of that. It could be that she just was in luck."

The peredhel just shrugged. " Then we'd better ride now, if there is orcs in this area I want to find a safe place to rest before the night."

After an hour the elleth awakened and she looked a bit confused and acted as though she was in pain. She touched her head and made miserable sounds and Glorfindel sighed. " Headache ha? No wonder, you have got me really wondering young lady."

She just pouted and he smiled and petted her head. " I wish I knew your story, it has become rather important."

She just pressed her face towards his chest and sighed and he felt a sort of pity flowing through him. She was so alone in this world, how long had she lived alone in that valley? He was starting to understand that she perhaps wasn't just an elleth gone feral, she could be important. He had to find out what she was, and what she could do.

They set up camp within a holt of twisted and contorted trees, some huge boulders provided shelter and they didn't light any fire. They had ridden long and were tired and the horses in special needed the rest badly. The twins had agreed to switch keeping watch and Glorfindel settled down with his bed roll and she had sat down next to him. Her head obviously still hurt and she looked a bit like some sulking child. He gestured for her to come closer and she did, eagerly. She was still very eager towards him and wanted to be touched, he could perhaps use that fact to their advantage. It was a risk to take but he could try to bind with her mind, it required a great deal of trust but she was like a child towards him, she was very obviously unable to suspect anything bad from him. Not that he in any way would hurt her, but searching someone's mind could have unforeseen consequences.

He started massaging her neck and shoulders and she yawned and stretched and made a strange but very sensual little sound that really did turn him on quite a bit but he held himself in check for now. He had to make her relax, and he had to get her thoughts away from the discomfort she was feeling. She had closed her eyes and he continued massaging her, she surrendered to his touch without any doubts and he found a slow hypnotic rhythm. After a short time she was in a sort of trance and he took a deep breath and started to let his mind mingle with hers. It was a most peculiar experience, like nothing he had ever done. He had not done such a thing for a very long time but her mind was unique. It was like trying to bond with an animal, she was all senses and she had very little thoughts. It was just what she was perceiving at the moment and he felt confused and shocked.

There had to be more to it, she had to have some sort of memories? He delved deeper into her mind, this was getting dangerous but he had to try. Now there was resistance, conscious or subconscious he didn't know but it was very firm and he felt his own heart battering in his chest. This was taking much of his strength, he was no healer damn it but he had to know, the gift she had revealed could possibly be a threat as much as a helpful thing. He tried to find a weak spot, a place or memory which would grant him access to her memories and he thought he caught a glimpse of something, something which probably could be link to her past.

It was the sight of a doe and her calf, peacefully grazing on a meadow. The doe was licking the calf's coat while it was suckling at her udder and he felt how the sight had softened her heart, brought forth a sensation of longing. The vision changed, it was a small hut of the kind the avari elves would erect. Twigs and branches covered with moss and grass and the girl was obviously just a child. A woman with dark red hair was brushing her hair using a simple brush made from bone and porcupine spikes, she was humming a sweet tune and Glorfindel saw that the woman was very pretty and there was great love in her eyes. She was obviously the girl's mother and she finished the job by braiding the girls hair. " Now Halariel, go and play. I have nuts to roast and some yarn to dye."

Glorfindel took a deep breath, what a name! Daughter of shadows, it had to have been a burden. The image changed, the girl was fighting some young ellon, screaming insults and being peppered with mud. Then he saw her confronting her mother and heard the words she spoke, of how the girl had come to be. He was horrified, in deep shock. So the kinslayers had been capable of not only murder but also rape? Not that it was that shocking, the things he had heard about the younger brothers had told him they were more than a little insane but he had always believed that the two elder one's had been more normal. So that wasn't so after all.

He saw her leaving the tribe and he noticed how her memories became more and more blurred and incoherent. She was becoming an animal and her consciousness had chosen that solution to guard itself from the truth. The knowledge she carried with her was too much, too hard a burden. It shouldn't matter anymore, after all ages had passed by since those terrible days but to her it still did. The shame had burned a hole in her soul and nothing would be able to fill it again. He felt sorry for her, so very so. She had forfeited everything to hide her secret from the world, she hadn't really lived. Being alive isn't synonymous with living and she as the prime example of just that.

But what he saw told him naught about her gift, he could sense it somehow, within her thoughts, a fleeting memory of times when she had been able to hide when she should have been discovered but it wasn't anything she controlled. It just happened and she didn't think about it at all, it wasn't anything she even questioned, it just was. He had to search deeper, see if there was anything in her past capable of explaining this. He was sweating and breathing hard, her mind was resisting his intrusion and it felt like walking through mud that was more than knee deep with lead boots. She didn't want anyone to know, she would be furious when she discovered what he had done. He dove deeper, sought backwards in time, saw happy childhood memories from before she came to know what or who she was.

He saw a memory which seemed promising, the girl lay in a simple bedroll made from furs and blankets, half asleep. Her mother sat by a hearth of some kind and an ellon sat next to her. He was obviously a bit shocked by what the elleth was telling him, Glorfindel realized that the mother was sharing something rather painful with this other elf for she was crying and he appeared to be deeply moved by her words. He looked as if he wanted to embrace her, comfort her, but he didn't quite dare to. The elleth sobbed. "His brother gave me a gift when I left, a piece of the leftover from when their father forged those accursed jewels, but it just disappeared. I have no idea of where it went. It wasn't many days later that I discovered that I was with child."

Glorfindel gasped, his mind stunned by the sudden realization, he quickly left the girls mind and she was still in a trance, staring into nothing. That could be the explanation, yes, it had to be it. He knew that the Silmarilli had been alive in some ways, that they had owned a consciousness. Perhaps the leftover from their creation had been similar to the finished results? If Halariel's mother had been given a piece of unfinished jewel it could have seen a chance to become more than it was, through her womb. No wonder the girl had such powers, she carried the spirit of the stones of treelight. He felt a strong sense of awe but also fear, it was so very important that they got back to Imladris fast. Elrond had to know about this, Glorfindel had no idea of what this meant for her or for them all but it was significant, he just knew it.

He sighed and caressed her head, tried to justify his action. At least he knew what she was now, there was no doubt. She was the daughter of Maedhros and the light of the jewels were still alive within her. Valar, she was probably extremely strong but also so very fragile. They had to move slowly ahead now, she was volatile and dangerous and he just hoped that Elrond could help her overcome her shame and fear. There had to be a way to return her to normal, he just knew that he wasn't strong enough nor wise enough to find it.

He covered her with a blanket and got up, he was cold and his skin clammy from the sweating he had experienced while scanning her mind. He felt dirty and walked over to the small stream, he wanted to clean himself and then he needed some sleep, sorely. He gasped, the water was freezing cold but he was quick and after a very fast dip he wrung the water out of his long hair and he was about to return when he felt eyes watching him. He turned around, she was standing by the stream and he hadn't heard her at all. She stared at him, there was something sad in her eyes and a silent accusation too. He hawked, felt embarrassed and guilty. " I…I am sorry, I had to find out who you are."

She whimpered, her eyes on the grass and there were tears in them, he got out of the water, hesitated but then he embraced her. She shuddered and sobbed, there was confusion and fear in her eyes. She was starting to remember, the thought hit him like the strike from a Warhammer. "Sshhh, it is alright, it is okay."

He stroked her arms, felt the heat from her body as something almost substantial, gods, she was so freaking perfect and at the same time so utterly broken. She groaned, shook her head, tears running from her eyes and the expression of shame was too much. " No, don't think like that, nothing is wrong with you. Listen to me."

He had no idea of whether or not she understood him at all but she looked as though she was starting to realize that he tried to calm her down. He held her close, it was causing certain reactions on his behalf but he didn't let it affect him. " I know your name now, you are Halariel. I saw that in your mind."

She gasped, let out a wailing sound and now she tried to wriggle herself free from his grasp, there was panic in her eyes, oh if she only had known how to speak! Glorfindel caught her in a firm grasp, held her close and she sobbed and fought him, her eyes flaming. He felt a chill run through him, she could be dangerous, if she used that gift of hers he could be in serious trouble. She gasped and kicked and squirmed and he just got an idea straight out of the blue. He remembered the tune her mother had been humming and he started repeating it, with a low voice. She suddenly felt like a ton of lead in his arms. She was trembling, making mewling sounds and he felt his heart swelling with pity and compassion. She had given up the struggle, just hang there and he lifted her and carried her back to the camp. Her eyes were dark and distant and he feared that she was suddenly able to remember more than she ought to.

Elrohir was sitting up, he was awake and his eyes did shine in the darkness. " Is everything alright?"

His voice was low and Glorfindel wrapped her up in the blankets again, she was trembling again and he sighed deeply. He had caused her grief and torment and felt guilty. " No, I tried to spy on her memories and got more than I bargained for."

The peredhel stared at him, frowning. " That was not a very wise move mellon, you are not trained for something like that."

Glorfindel nodded slowly. " I know, oh by the Valar do I know. But I managed to get her name, Halariel, and the truth about her existence."

Elrohir moved closer. " And?"

Glorfindel made a grimace, stared down at her. She had closed her eyes but looked like some child that has been abused. " I was right, she is the daughter of Maedhros, and some silvan elleth."

Elrohir raised an eyebrow. " Why would a noldo lord take a silvan mistress?"

Glorfindel let his fingers run through his long golden locks. " She wasn't his mistress, he raped her."

Elrohis suddenly looked very shocked, and disgusted. " Then how could she have conceived? She didn't fade from shock and grief?"

Glorfindel shook his head. " I think her mother must have been one tough elleth, tougher than granite I suspect. And I think there is yet another reason. Maglor gave her a piece of silmarilli leftovers when she left, I think it sought an opportunity to live for real and grasped it, made her conceive and gave the child its powers."

The peredhel stared at the girl, his eyes wide. " Then by the Valar do father need to know about this. She could be terribly powerful."

Glorfindel sighed and felt sad, and weary. " Yes, but right now she is more terribly ashamed and confused than anything else. Do not tell her of this conversation saes? She is sleeping now and I fear that she will need all of her strength in the days to come. I am horrified by the thought of introducing her to the others, she is so nervous and if she has started remembering why she sought solitude in the first place seeing so many assembled could cause her a mental breakdown."

Elrohid smiled, a sad grin. " Of course, I will not hold the truth against her in any way, it isn't her fault she is what she is."

Glorfindel smiled and lay down next to her. The heat from her body was comfortable but he couldn't help but wonder how she would be the next day, if things were as before or not. He fell asleep with his arm around her and the rest of the night was uneventful and peaceful.

Glorfindel woke up to the sound of weeping, he was confused at first, having wrapped himself up in his blankets so hard he had to wriggle around a little to get out of them and then he saw her, she was sitting on a log bent forward with her head in her hands and Elrohir and Elladan stood by trying to comfort her but they didn't seem to reach her at all. Glorfindel felt how his heart dropped within his chest as though it had been transformed into a lump of rock. He had caused this, he had ripped that sense of innocence and ignorance from her and showed her the truth and she hadn't wanted it. He could tell that now. He got up and walked forth, uncertain of what to do. He crouched down in front of her and hawked. "Halariel?"

She lifted her head, saw him and her eyes went wide, he didn't know if the feeling he saw in her eyes were rage, shame, hatred or confusion, she just stared at him blankly with an empty expression on her face. Then she suddenly threw herself forth and he found her clinging to him as though he was her last hope. She was strong, in spite of her weakened body she had some serious strength to her and he had to wrestle a little with her to stop her from choking him. She was crying like a baby but he saw the confusion in her gaze and knew that she didn't really knew why. Her conscious and subconscious mind didn't cooperate at all.

She just knew that she felt terrible about something and sought comfort from the only one she trusted and he felt like such a dung of orcshit for having caused this, she shouldn't trust him at all. He had caused this torment and he whispered to her. " Please forgive me, I don't know if you understand at all, but I do need your forgiveness, I cannot live with what I did to you."

She just stared and her grasp was just as firm. He sighed and buried his face against her neck. "Sweet one, the gods alone knows that I regret what I did, but we had to know. I hope you'll understand one day."

She just made some whimpering sound and continued clinging to him and Elrohir nodded. " We will prepare the horses, the terrain ahead is easy, I hope we will make some real progress today."

Glorfindel nodded and got her clothes, started getting them onto her. " Good, and may the Valar make sure we don't run into any trouble."

Before long they had broken camp and were heading westward again, riding rather hard and Glorfindel didn't like the apathy he saw in her eyes or the silence. Usually she was much more lively but now it was as though he was riding with an unconscious person in the saddle in front of him. It was very unpleasant to say the least and he could just hope and pray that Elrond would be able to unravel the mystery that was her mind and undo the damage he could have done by forcing his entry into her mind. It had been a sort of rape, not physically but mentally and he still felt as though he deserved the worse possible punishment for it, but they had to know what her mysterious gifts was.

Irelen hadn't been lying, there was a bathhouse in the small village and it was rather apparent that they used it for more than just washing themselves. The small room stank of sheep wool, fat that had gone bad and lye. They had to make soap in there and he saw some baskets with ash used to make the lye. Some buckets contained some terrible looking oozing liquids that had to be dye used to put color into yarn and the big wooden tub was probably used for almost every task done in the house. The thought made him cringe but he had to admit that it did look clean and the hot water was such a temptation. The boy had helped him walk across the small square outside of the healers house and he had stared at the gathering of small buildings with narrow eyes. This was a poor settlement but it wasn't the worst he had seen. The buildings were whole and well maintained and the few people who stood there staring at him were healthy and well-dressed although the cloth he saw worn was rather simple and un-expensive.

The two women who had prepared the bathhouse had left and just Irelen was left there with him, he felt very self-conscious and nervous and she just smiled and helped him. She smeared some thick greasy ointment onto his wound to protect it from the water and he felt his skin twitch with anticipation of getting rid of all the grime and sweat. He saw that there was a sort of bench placed within the tub so it was possible to sit down and he pulled himself over the edge and into the tub.

The water was very hot and he cringed but forced himself into it, it didn't feel that bad after a short while and he relaxed and sat down for real. Irelen poured some water over his head and started massaging his scalp and it felt so wonderful. She got the dirt out of his hair and combed through it and she even added some sort of oil to it. It smelled very good and he closed his eyes in bliss and let his mind drift. He remembered his childhood, his mother bathing him and laughing when he tried to splash water at her. He remembered his father's proud gaze when watching how his son slowly learned to write. He remembered the birth of his brothers, each and every one of them. He remembered how tired his mother had been when the Ambarussa twins were born, he remembered her low voice, repeating a sentence over and over again. " Never again, never again"

He remembered their house filled with light and joy and mischief and he had to smile. He could almost hear Maglor trying to tame the lyre and the miserable sounds he managed to produce at first, it sounded as if someone was torturing a cat. And later, oh later, how wonderful his voice had become and how talented he had been. He remembered the twins running around playing hide and seek, Caranthir's temperamental fits when something didn't go quite the way he wanted it to. He remembered how Celegorm would dress to go hunting and call his mighty hound to his side, he remembered Curufin flirting with the maidens and how the twins always interfered and played some rather vicious and yet innocent prank of their older brother. He remembered his father emerging from the forge, sweaty and covered with sooth and grime and the content expression on his face.

He was smiling but tears were running down his cheeks and it felt as though it had been yesterday but it was ages ago. Was anyone alive at all who remembered them? Irelen sighed and touched his cheek lovingly. " Memories my lord?"

He nodded, tried to smile but it became a grimace. He remembered things he would have preferred to forget. He remembered standing at the dais on the square, in the middle of the crowd, his father's eyes blazing in the darkness, a fire born of grief and rage and hatred and he heard those words again, those cursed words. He remembered his own feelings at that moment, his own terrible fear and doubt. You have cursed us all father, that was what he wanted to say, but he had repeated the oath instead, done his duty as a son should. They all had. That was the great tragedy of it.

He remembered burning ships, screams and blood, rivers of blood. The metallic stench still lingered on his tongue and he whimpered, what had they become? Naught but monsters, just as vile as anything the enemy had created and perhaps that had been his goal the whole time, to corrupt them, create something he could control. Hatred is as easy to lead as a horse wearing a bit and Morgoth had been sly, so very very sly. He was using the technique of divide and conquer and it had almost become their undoing.

Irelen was humming as she braided his hair, she was such a pure spirit, he could sense it. There was no darkness in this adeneth and he feared that he would stain her just by being there. He was an abomination, so terrible. He remembered their faces, every one of them. He remembered their deaths, their dead bodies laid on display. He remembered seeing his youngest brother dying, his body pierced by several blades, blood running from his mouth and his eyes wide open in agony and fear. He remembered a trembling hand, covered with blood, both his own and that of others, clawing at his own. " Make it stop…make it…stop. It …hurts… Ammê"

He had called out for his mother, that had been the last words he had heard from his brother and he remembered how his heart had become so hard and calloused he wondered if it was beating at all. He felt as though he had become a wraith, a walking undead. Only Maglor had managed to save him from going utterly insane and the oath had been a terrible burden, dragging them along, forcing them to do things they otherwise would have thought unimaginable.

Irelen handed him some soap, it was rough and grey and didn't smell very good but it did remove the dirt from his body and he started scrubbing himself. The water was rather dark now and he made a grimace and felt a bit guilty. They would have to clean the tub afterwards, he was filthier than he had imagined. He felt his own hands glide across his skin and wondered again, he was in his full strength, as he had been when they left Aman. There were no scars on him, his hand was still there and he felt as though he had lots of energy. His hair was as long as it ever had been, he had been rather proud of it back then, many a maiden had been jealous of it. He had to smile, remembered hands toying with it, fingers sliding through it.

He remembered one pair of hands in special, and a bang of sorrow hit him again. He had never recovered from the loss of his cousin, it had been love for sure, maybe not accepted by everyone, maybe it had been a sin but he hadn't cared and it had been pure in his mind. There had been no such thing as shame when they had been together, only peace and contentment. He would never know that feeling again.

He remembered the feeling when he was found, when his torment finally came to an end. Only the help of the great eagle had enabled Fingon to get up there, physically help him down. He had been ready to die, he would have welcomed his cousin's arrow in his heart as a redeemer, as salvation. He had no hope left, no strength. He thought that this one last glimpse of a familiar and beloved face would be the final thing he saw but destiny had wanted it otherwise. He was rescued but maybe not entirely. He never managed to recover completely, he never spoke to anyone of what he had been through, what he had seen. And it was eating at his mind the whole time, hollowing it out like a worm digging through an apple. Maybe it was because of all those memories he had chosen death, it had been one last desperate attempt at escaping the truth.

He sat in the tub until the water started to cool down and Irelen helped him getting out of it again, she dried him with a rather roughly woven towel and it made his skin itch but he was clean and it was wonderful. His hip and knee felt a lot better now and he could almost walk normally, it had to be the heat and Irelen finished by rubbing his skin with some sort of oil that smelled of summer blossoms. He felt drowsy and when he got back to her hut and the bed he lay down and drifted off into sleep immediately.

He didn't wake up again until the next morning, Irelen had prepared some breakfast and he was hungry. He tried to show some restraint though, ate slowly and tried to make her understand that he appreciated the food.

Irelen massaged his thigh and it hurt but he knew it was needed, the scar would become stiff and make it hard to move otherwise. He let her do her job without complaining and she touched his cheek and grinned. " You are truly very tough my lord, others would have been squealing like a stuck pig. "

He blushed and grinned and accepted the praise gratefully. Irelen left the hut and was gone for a while and when she returned she carried a pair of breeches and a tunic. " I got these from the blacksmiths wife, I guess they could be wide enough across the shoulders and thighs but I fear that the tunic is a bit too short and the breeches too."

He nodded and felt humble, they gave him clothes even though he wasn't one of them? He felt a lump in his throat and placed his hand above his heart to express his gratitude. Irelen just giggled and helped him putting the garments on. She wasn't shy at all and didn't react at all to the sight of him being naked but he felt a little awkward and knew that his cheeks were red. The healer was right, the tunic was wide enough but nowhere near long enough and neither were the breeches. The tunic barely reached below his waist and the breeches ended just a few inches beneath his knees and she giggled and shook her head. " You look like some boy wearing shorts, but it is okay for now I guess."

He stared at himself, the cloth was dark brown and probably made from wool and some sort of herbal fibers and the breeches were reinforced with patches of leather in the groin, but it was all well worn garments and nothing fancy at all. He remembered having worn silk and velvet and expensive jewelry and he wondered where all the colors had gone. He seemed to remember his youth as a kaleidoscope of wonderful colors, here on the other hand everything seemed dull in comparison. He sat on the bed and felt as though he was a burden, Irelen grinned and pulled a small basket out from underneath the bed. It contained some sort of nuts and he frowned and stared at her incredulously. " If you want to be useful sort these out. The ones that are very light are empty, put them in the hearth. The ones that are heavy must be cracked."

She found a flat rock and a small hammer and he sighed and took the items. The basket was filled with nuts and it would take quite some time to crack them all. He started and soon he found a rhythm, lift, shake and either throw away or crack. Irelen was knitting and her hands were moving like lightning, he was amazed at the speed with which the cloth formed between her hands. She was obviously a very skilled person and he remembered his mother, emerging from her workshop covered in dust, grinning and lifting him up. She had been completely white a few times and she had chased him around the house, pretending to be a ghost and he had laughed so hard he thought he would lose his breath.

It was all gone now, and he had no idea of why he had been brought back. He had to have spent many millennia in the halls, but he had no memory of it. The valar didn't send a feä back unless it was something rather important that person had to do, so what was his task? He had no idea. He finished the basket after some hours, his fingers were sore because of the lack of callouses and his hands felt stiff. He was unused to using his body and he wished that he could heal faster, so he could begin to retrain himself. If he was to meet other elves again he feared that he would need it, if he was meant to defend himself that was.

Perhaps he was being punished? Maybe he was to let others take out their anger or sorrow on him? He doubted that anything they ever did could be as bad as what he had been through though, they were not orcs. Irelen found a basket with wool and now he had to hold it while she was spinning it into yarn, at least the activities made it easier to deal with his thoughts. He had to concentrate on what he did and Irelen was pleasant company. He hadn't spent much time with humans after all, he had looked down at them, both literally and metaphorically. To him they had been insignificant, short lived and naught more than animals with no real culture or history. He had been unjust and he knew it. Irelen was above her youth and her age was visible, an elf at her age would be barely more than a child but there she was, on her way towards the grave. It felt strange thinking about that fact, the secondborn were like shooting stars compared with an elf. They sparkled for a few short seconds and were gone but they could leave such an impression, one that would last through centuries.

Irelen made them some dinner, she had soaked some dried fish in water and boiled it with herbs and roots and the result didn't look very tempting at all but it tasted rather good. She then opened a jug of something that had to be some sort of mead. He had tasted dwarfish mead once, while visiting Finrod in Nargothrond and it had been interesting but nothing he wanted to get too used to. This on the other hand was good, sweet and with a very pungent aftertaste of honey. He had emptied his cup before he knew it and it left a warmth in his belly that was very pleasant. They just rested for a while and he sat there with his eyes closed and felt at peace.

Irelen had gotten a bit tipsy and she grinned and sat down by the hearth with her knitting. " I bet someone as pretty as you have got maidens lining up outside of your home or what? I do envy you first born your eternal youth, ours last for so few years and it fades fast."

He tilted his head and she saw the expression on his face and her grin got wider. " Oh I was sought after in my youth, believe it or not. I wasn't this worn out old hag I am now, far from it. I had quite a fine body back then, busty and firm and my hair was shiny and long and the envy of the other maidens. "

She giggled. " I hated the fact that my father married me off but I had had my taste of the joys of life before I was thrown into the marital bed. I knew what I was heading for, I was no blushing maiden although my husband believed so."

He had to grin, he knew that humans often sought only the untouched females for marriage, why he had no idea of. After all, an experienced partner would know what to do and how to please the other one.

Irelen burped and tilted her head. " Pardon me, but keeping it down can make one ill, I know dwarves always burp after a meal, to show that the food was good."

He nodded, remembered the dwarfish table manners or rather the lack thereof. He had been shocked by it when he visited Finrod and he found the dwarves to be rather detestable but also entertaining in some ways. They were always so brutally honest and he did appreciate that, at least to some extent. He wished he could tell her about all the hilarious situations he had witnessed but he could not make a single word that was understandable. Irelen sniggered. " I served this mead at a wedding once, the groom got so drunk they had to carry him to the bed and lift him onto his blushing bride, she confessed to me later that he was as limp as a dried out carrot. She had to wait for two more days before he managed to make a woman out of her."

He had to blush and remembered some experiences he had had, some good and some not so much so and he did remember his first very well. He guessed that it was normal never to forget the first one shares one's body with. It had been an elleth working for his mother as a model and it had been rather desperate and not that much to brag about but he had done it and he was beaming with pride afterwards and she had of course been bragging about having taken his virginity to all her friends and his mother had learned about the incident and grounded him for a whole year. She didn't like the idea of him screwing someone employed by the family, it didn't look good and it could damage their reputation. He hadn't protested but he had been proud of himself for having had the courage to do it. And it had felt good, it had been wonderful but later he of course learned that it had been rather pathetic and not at all such a wondrous experience as he at first thought it was.

He was sitting there daydreaming when there was a knock at the door. Irelen got to it and opened it and he saw a man standing outside of the door in the rain, he was wearing a leather hat and a woolen coat and it was soaking through and through. Irelen looked puzzled. " Airan, what are you doing here? Are any of the shepherds injured perhaps?"

The man shook his head, he refused to go inside and just stood there, dripping water. " No, nobody is injured but I am going from house to house tonight. I met Farell earlier tonight, he had come across Timar and his entourage on the ettenmoors, they were heading this way and you know, that man is never anything but trouble."

Irelen looked nervous all of a sudden. "Thank you for the warning Airan, make sure that everybody knows about this. "

Airan made a grimace, he stared at the ground. " Farell told me Ghunlar had spoken with Timar, just so you know it."

Irelen sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. " Oh gods, that too. Well, it could be that he will head in another direction."

The shepherd shook his head, a drop of water fell from his nose. " Don't count on it, be ready for trouble."

He left and Irelen sighed and closed the door. The elf stared at her with questions in his gaze and she sat down and sighed. " Timar is the scourge of this area, nothing but a bandit but he tries to pretend as though he is nobility of some kind. He thinks he can rule the farmers here but he has no right at all to any land or property. He liked to intimidate others and he has this group of loyal ass kissers following him everywhere."

He wished he could ask more questions, his brow furrowed and his eyes worried. Irelen bit her teeth together. " Ghunlar is the village drunk, he knows about you, I fear what he have told that scumbag."

Maedhros felt a chill running down his spine, this didn't sound good at all and she saw the fear in his eyes and petted him on his shoulder. " Do not worry my friend, we won't let him hurt you, he has no real power here and there are plenty of strong men here, ready to defend the village. He knows this, he may speak bold words and try to act like some goddamn king but his words are as hollow as his power"

He could only hope that Irelen was right, but his heart told him otherwise.


	5. Of wrath unbound

Chapter five: Of wrath unbound

Irelen had tried to calm him down, to ease his mind regarding this Timar character but it hadn't worked. He had an uneasy feeling in the very bones of his body and he couldn't fall to sleep that evening. The soft light of the hearth danced around and created shadows and figures upon the rough walls of the hut and he couldn't stop looking at them. They frightened him, he thought he saw things in those shadows, things he would have preferred he could forget. He knew that not all humans were as friendly towards the firstborn as Irelen and the rest of her village, this man who brought them so much torment and pain could very well be one of those who hated and feared his race and he knew that such feelings never should be underestimated. He had seen the ravages brought by hatred and fear before and he wished that he knew more of this human.

He didn't fall asleep until the first fragile light started to appear in the east and Irelen probably understood because she let him sleep until he woke up by himself. He didn't feel well rested at all, his head hurt and he had a terrible taste in his mouth. Irelen gave him a cup of tea and he sat down to eat and drink, he had no appetite and felt slightly nauseous, He had a sense of foreboding, this Timar would bring naught but death, he sensed that.

He helped Irelen prepare some herbs that day, it was hard work because they had to be crushed so that all the juice was gone from them, and that juice had to be boiled down into a sort of syrup that was mixed with other types of herbs to make different ointments and medicines. It was interesting but it made his arms ache and he had this weird feeling the whole time, as if someone was calling his name, and he couldn't quite figure out from where that voice came. The whole village was nervous, he sensed it. There were few voices coming from the outside, he didn't hear anyone walking by, the children were kept indoors. In the evening they both took a small break to rest and he fell asleep, leaned up against the wall of the hut.

He was immediately dreaming, it was a memory. He had followed his brothers and cousins out of Tirion, they had been hunting and they had such a good time. He remembered the friendship, the camaraderie and the jokes and jests. It had been a happy time, a time he could look back upon with joy. There had been no dark shadows back then, no fear, no oaths to drive people insane.

The dream changed, he was in the woods again and it was just him and Fingon, and it was among his most private and treasured memories. He remembered it so well, the moment when they finally had accepted what they felt, what they wanted. The timid touches that so fast turned into something more, something hungry and demanding. How lust and need and longing had overwhelmed them and become all they were. He hadn't had male lovers before, Fingon had and he had taken control, been the one in charge. It had been painful but he had welcomed that pain, he had wanted it. He had wanted to be possessed, to be owned, held so hard by someone not fragile like an elleth, someone who could match his fire.

They had laid there for a long time afterwards, not saying anything. Words had been useless, too primitive, almost an insult. Their connection was on a different level, so much deeper. The dream changed again, the wars, the battles, Fingon's face, the faces of his brothers. It made him moan and squirm and he didn't want the dream to continue but it did. He saw the funeral, his lover's body being burned and it had broken his heart. Only shards had been left of it, broken and sharp and deadly. From there on it had all been a downward pointing spiral, towards his end. He struggled to break free from the dream, suddenly he saw Fingon standing in front of him, clad in white wearing a circlet of white metal upon his brow, his face serene and yet worried. "Wake up melethron, do not share my fate"

Maedhros woke with a start, he gasped for air and felt that the temperature of the hut had dropped a lot. Irelen sat by the hearth, throwing wood into it. "It has gotten chilly!"

He got up, shook himself. He knew what to do, what he needed. He gestured towards Irelen and she got up. "Yes, what is it?"

He grasped the small knife she wore and made a gesture as if to make it bigger. Then he pretended as if he was hammering at something. She frowned, then she smiled. " A sword my lord? We do not have many swords, and they are old and not much to brag about. "

He sighed, repeated the hammering movement and she nodded. "The forge? You want to see our smithy?"

He nodded eagerly, remembered how disappointed his father had been when it became clear that he really didn't have much talent for making such amazing things as their father. But that didn't mean that he was completely without skills, he knew how to make a decent blade and Irelen tilted her head and shrugged. "Alright then, I guess that can be arranged."

She threw a shawl around her shoulders and they left the hut. He was still limping but he clenched his teeth together and forced himself to walk. The smithy was an ordinary village smithy, simple and without much tools, the blacksmith was putting shoes on a horse and he looked surprised. He did smile though and bowed his head. Irelen petted Maedhros on his arm, she didn't reach up to his shoulder. "He wants to either make a sword or fix a sword?"

The blacksmith made a grimace. "Well, we do have some weapons here but they are terrible to be honest. The steel is bad and the method with which they were made is dubious to say the least. "

He turned around and went into a small cabin behind the smithy, it was the village armory, if such a nice word could be used. It was more of a storage for whatever metal objects they had and had to store when they were out of use. "The things we have here have a past as everything from plowshares to horseshoes, Metal is precious, it is reused until nothing remains of it."

He reached out and he had some scabbards in his hands, Maedhros cringed when he saw them. Rust and grease and sooth had discolored the cloth and leather covering them, and he dreaded what he would see when the blades were pulled free.

He was not disappointed, they were worse than he had feared. One blade couldn't be removed from the scabbard at all due to rust and he groaned and shook his head. The blacksmith looked apologetic but it wasn't his fault. These people were not warriors, they had no way of knowing how to take care of a good blade and these swords had never been good. The metal was terrible, soft and brittle and filled with slag and the very shape of the blades told him some village smith had forged them and he hadn't done it well.

Maedhros knew what his father would have said if he had seen these blades, he would have thrown them onto the garbage heap claiming that not even a senile orc would touch them. The very idea made him grin for a moment. He chose two of the blades, one was made from steel that was way too brittle and the other one from a metal mixture that was rather soft. He had an idea of how he could use that and he removed the pommel and the paring bars from the blades and made the blacksmith light the forge. Maedhros felt eager, almost frantic. He could do this, and he wanted to teach this blacksmith how it ought to be done. The man was obviously convinced that the huge elf knew what he was doing for he was paying attention to whatever the redhead was doing.

Maedhros found that he liked it, he let the blades melt down until they were mere lumps of glowing metal, then he hammered the impurities out of them and started reshaping them, he placed the two types of metal next to each other and hammered them together, creating a long blade with two layers, then he folded it back several times and hammered it out again, repeated the process over and over again. He had a crowd by then, many of the menfolk had come and were watching with obvious fascination and he was enjoying this. He showed the blacksmith the color the metal should be when it was ready to be shaped, he showed him the amount of coal he should use, the temperature of the forge. Even though he couldn't speak he managed to make the man understand. He spent most of the afternoon by the forge, he didn't rest, he just continued working.

He shaped the blade, found a hilt and a pommel he could use, he just had to reshape them a bit. It was a good feeling, being able to do something and do it well. It was getting dark but he continued working. Irelen brought him some food and he ate while he shaped the edge of the blade. He then put the sword together and used the rest of the evening placing new leather onto the hilt and sharpening the steel. It was a very elven sword now, rather long and very dangerously looking but well balanced and in a way beautiful. But the steel was bad, it was nowhere near the quality he was used to of old and his father would have cried if he had been presented with something like that.

To the men of the village on the other hand it was a wondrous thing and he let them hold it and swing it. It was way too long for them, he had created it to fit his own considerably taller frame and long arms and they almost stumbled or lost their balance while trying to swing it. He had to show them and it felt like reawakening, it felt right and yet frightening. He knew how to use it, knew how to kill. He just wished that he never would have to do that again. When he went to bed that night he was terribly tired, his arms were aching and he smelled of hot metal and sooth but he slept well. He had a weapon, he could defend himself if he had to. And the blacksmith knew how to make more weapons now, better ones.

He woke up to the sound of Irelen singing, she had a soft and gentle voice and although it couldn't be compared with the voice of one of the firstborn it had a quality to it Maedhros couldn't remember having heard ever before. It was haunting, melancholic and sad and yet beautiful in a weird way. He closed his eyes again, he didn't understand the words but he let the feelings in that simple song embrace him. Irelen smiled, there was something dreamy in her eyes. "My mother taught me that one, it is in her native tongue, she came from the south. It is about a maiden who loses her heart to a knight but he leaves her to marry some noble woman and the maiden dies of a broken heart."

He nodded, he could sort of guess it was that sort of a song. Irelen prepared some breakfast and she hummed while doing it. Maedhros stretched his legs, he didn't feel the injuries that much now, he was a little stiff and a little sore but it would go away. He could walk and perhaps even run and it was good. He continued to polish the sword afterwards, completed the job. The blade had become very sharp when he was finished, he could split a falling hair on it but it was too brittle to be very good. It could snap in half and he wished he had some of the steel his father had made. Fëanorian steel was the best there ever had been and he was a bit proud of it. It was strange really, he had gathered armies, lead them to war, fought an almost invincible enemy and yet here he was, in a poor humans hut with a sword that the smiths back in his father's days would have died of shame of if it had carried their insignia.

He then helped Irelen again and afterwards he just sat outside of the hut, enjoying the warmth of the sun. He was older than it, it was a strange thought, and a bizarre one too but it was true, Was there anybody left from that age? Did anyone remember? The day went by, he was followed by a couple of village lads who wanted to show him their ponies when he wanted to go for a short walk and the boys were in awe of the sword. They all wanted to touch it and he had decided to name it Reaver, it was a rather violent name but it suited the blade. It did look a bit menacing. One of the village hunters had brought home a deer and there was meat being distributed among the inhabitants. Irelen got a rather huge piece since she was the healer and she instantly gave much of it to a young pregnant woman who needed the extra food. But she kept enough to make herself and the elf a very tasty dinner and he really enjoyed the food and the sensation of being a bit spoiled.

The day came to an end and the darkness fell and he was contemplating going to sleep when they heard shouts and he got out of bed immediately. He heard the sound of hooves, of horses at a gallop and something that only could the clattering made from light armor and weapons. He felt cold, terrified. Irelen stared at him with confusion in her eyes, then she realized what it was he heard and she went pale. Maedhros grasped the blade he had forged, he didn't have a scabbard for it but he wrapped a blanket around it, tightly. He grasped Irelen's hand and made her hold it, if she held it closely it could perhaps resemble a cane, it was sleek enough and it was dark outside.

There was whinnying and shouts and he peered out of the door, ten riders on small stubby horses. One man wore a light armor and he had a rather nice sword by his side. The rest carried crude spears or war hammers and they looked very confident, almost arrogant. They rode into the central square as if they owned the place, Timar stared at the villagers with something that reminded Maedhros of disgust. He felt his nerves tingle, this was a bad person, a man who back in the days would have served Morgoth for sure. Maedhros felt his throat go tight, his heart was beating faster, he was ready to fight if he had to.

Timar remained seated on his horse, he almost sneered. The village blacksmith was the spokesperson there, he was someone everybody respected for without a proper blacksmith few could survive for long. Even Timar wouldn't dare harming him, the smiths were almost seen as holy men by some for their ability to shape glowing metal into useable objects. Maedhros stared through the crack in the door, the man was trying to look more regal than he was. He wore a nice wolfskin coat and his clothes were rather expensive but the elf's keen eyes did see that they were dirty and in disrepair and the man had a face that told Maedhros he was too fond of drinking and food. The features had perhaps been handsome once but they weren't even attractive any more, he reminded the elf of a toad for some reason. The eyes were bulging and bloodshot and Maedhros saw that the man was rather short too. He tried to hide the fact that he was fat by wearing that huge coat but it only accentuated the problem.

He had seen such men before, men small in spirit and even smaller in terms of morality and wisdom, small men who threw long shadows. The riders sat there looking extremely smug, the villagers stood there looking nervous and frightened and he could see how this pleased these men. To them fear was exhilarating, as intoxicating as a fine wine. It made them drunk on power, well, maybe he could sober them up. He had a feeling of knowing what this moron of a human wanted, why he was there. Timar stared at the blacksmith, he was the only person in this village to whom he bothered speaking, the others were below him and he considered them as little more than cattle. "Where is the elf? Ghunlar told me you keep an elf here"

The blacksmith frowned. " And if we do? That is no business of yours, the elf is a guest here and you know the rules of hospitality."

Timar almost snarled, he didn't like being questioned. "The elf could be an enemy, a spy even. I demand to speak with him."

The blacksmith just grinned, a narrow smile. "He is a mute, that will be a one way conversation I fear."

Timar laughed, a very sarcastic laughter. " Oh a mute now, how convenient. I want to meet the elf or I will make sure that you all regret housing such creatures."

Maedhros didn't doubt for a second that Timar would hurt people, he nodded to Irelen and she opened the door, walked straight behind him and she did notice that he exaggerated his limp. He was clever, made himself seem more fragile that he was. Still he was a very impressive sight and Timar's eyes got wide when he saw the figure that emerged out of the darkness. Maedhros knew how he had to look for this human, like a giant. He had noticed that these humans were smaller than the ones he had encountered in his previous life and perhaps his race too had shrunk over the ages.

Timar stared, he didn't even blink. He had hardly ever met an elf in his life, and those he had seen had been tall yes, but nowhere near as tall as this creature. He just stared at the elf with a feeling of being stunned, the creature was overwhelming. He saw the broad well muscled shoulders, the long arms and strong and yet elegant torso and felt something akin to lust, a need to own, to possess. The face was strong too, with elegant and very masculine features and yet so beautiful it put most women to shame, the waist long red hair looked like a river of fire in the torchlight and the badly fitting clothes didn't in any way mar the perfection that was this creature.

The eyes stared straight at him, they were piercing and cold and reminded the man of flint, he suddenly felt nervous and the majestic aura of the elf made him feel insecure and insignificant. It wasn't a feeling he could tolerate, he couldn't accept such feelings.

He tried to sit straighter on the horse, even on horseback he was just a little taller than the elf and that feeling of being belittled made him angry. "So this is the pointy eared freak you have been sheltering? A snake in our midst maybe?"

He pushed his horse closer to the elf, tried to dominate him but the elf didn't move, not an inch. Those cold eyes did frighten Timar, he suddenly realized that this was a dangerous creature, nothing like the peaceful tradesmen he had met before. This was a warrior, and a very experienced one too and he felt something snap within him. He almost shrieked to his men. "Seize him, I will make him speak!"

Maedhros hissed, he had preferred that violence was avoided but the idiot didn't give him an opportunity for that. He grasped the sword from Irelen as the first riders came towards him and he pushed her back towards the others and then he moved. The first rider came towards him with a spear and he simply cut the shaft in half before he spun around and hit the man in the head with the pommel of the sword. The human fell to the ground without a sound. The second rider hesitated when he saw that the huge elf was armed and that became his undoing. Maedhros had fought trolls and orcs and the most foul of Morgoth's many creatures, he simply used his fist and hit the man square in the chest so hard he fell of the horse and landed on his ass in the grass with a gasp and a startled cry.

Maedhros knew that Timar was the dangerous one, the others just followed him and they had no loyalty to speak of, he was the most ruthless of them and so he had become the leader of the pack simply because the others preferred to follow orders and let the leader take the full responsibility if anything went wrong. The short fat guy was sitting there gawking in shock and then he spurred his horse towards Maedhros, drawing his sword. He screamed something nobody there really understood for the words were more shrieks than anything else and Maedhros knew that he had to make the men respect and fear him, deter them from attacking again. He moved so fast his motions became a blur, just a fleeting glimpse of fire and steel.

Reaver wasn't an excellent blade but it served its purpose, he moved it in a very powerful arch and to the horror of Timar's men he simply cut straight through the neck of Timar's horse and decapitated the animal completely before the blade sliced across Timar's broad chest as the horse fell like a sack of potatoes. The cut wasn't deep, he didn't want to kill the man but it drew blood and Timar was thrown forwards and landed awkwardly in the grass, rolling with a terrified scream. He sat up, stared at the bleeding gash that crossed his chest and the body of his horse, still shivering in death spasms, he looked as if he had fallen down from the moon or something, eyes wide and mouth open in a soundless cry of disbelief.

Maedhros wished that he could speak, that he could have told this idiot where to go, that he should be ashamed of himself. Instead he just growled, keeping an eye on the remaining riders. They sat on their horses and all were pale and they looked as if they were about to bolt and make a run for it. Timar got up, he just stared at the elf, to shocked to be able to speak. He hadn't believed those who told him what amazing fighters elves are, now he was a believer and he knew that they didn't stand a chance. He managed to make a squealing request for a new horse, one of the men gave him his own and shared saddle with one of the others instead. Timar got in the saddle clumsily, the pain was finally kicking in and he was seething with anger and fear. He roared and pulled the new horse around, almost too enraged to think. "This isn't the last of this, mark my words. You will regret this!"

He rode out of the village and the men followed him, they didn't even look behind them. Maedhros didn't let go of the sword until the sound of the hoof beats had been gone for several minutes, he stared into the darkness and felt both enraged and a bit scared. Timar was probably able to seek revenge. Irelen went over, put a hand on his arm. "That was impressive my friend, you have made them fear you, I hope that is enough."

Maedhros just shrugged, he stared at the dead horse. Gestured for the villagers to deal with the carcass. The meat was edible and they shouldn't let it go to waste, he didn't like killing an innocent animal but the alternative had been killing Timar and he would prefer not to do that. He shook the blood of the blade and the blacksmith came over, he spat in the grass and shook his head. " Timar got frightened now, and he was made to look like a fool, weak. He will not forget and he will absolutely not forgive. He will be back."

Irelen sighed, she closed her eyes. " I know, do you think you can ride?"

Maedhros just nodded, his eyes were sad. He had put these people in danger with his actions but there had been no choice. He would not let that man capture him, he would never again be in chains. He wished that he could explain everything to Irelen and the others but he couldn't. The blacksmith laid a gentle calloused hand on his shoulder, pressed it lightly. " I have a horse you can borrow, it is a draft horse and he is big enough even for you."

Irelen smiled and her eyes were sad. "I will ask if the boy who found you will accompany you, it will be good for him seeing some more of the world. "

Maedhros smiled, he liked Lannam and he would very much prefer to travel with someone. He didn't know the landscape nor where he was supposed to go. The blacksmith nodded. " I will have the horse ready by the morrow, rest and gather your strength."

The elf just sighed, he didn't really want to leave this place but there was no way around it. He was endangering these peaceful people by staying and he knew he could defend himself so much better on his own. Irelen took his hand, pulled him with her back to the hut. She sat down by the hearth and started preparing food. She didn't look up. "Men like Timar are the most dangerous kind you know."

He swallowed, put the sword next to the bed. She stared at him through the corner of her eye, "He is unable to see his own errors, and every obstacle he may encounter is somebody else's fault. His grudges grow until they are a fully developed hatred, he will hate you my friend, and he will stop at nothing to get back at you."

Maedhros nodded slowly, he already knew that. He wished that he could have done something for them, something that could show his appreciation of what Irelen and the village had done for him. He felt like a scoundrel for having used their hospitality the way he had and that without being able to repay them in any way. He sighed and Irelen put a bowl of stew in front of him. "Do not worry my friend, we will be alright. And I know you elves are masters at travelling without leaving any traces of your whereabouts. "

He smiled and petted her hand, sat down to eat. She grinned. " I will see if I can get you a cloak or something."

He felt so embarrassed, such kindness and he didn't feel as though he deserved it at all. He finished the meal and laid down, he needed to sleep but the adrenaline was still causing him to shiver and he had problems relaxing. When he finally did fall asleep he dreamed again, flames and blood and blades. Screams, roars, horrible contorted faces, a dark presence unlike any other, evil incarnate and he writhed in his sleep, unable to escape the memories he hadn't shared with anyone.

He had been unconscious when they tossed him into a sort of cell, he had woken up in shackles, helpless. He had been so afraid, so terribly so and the fear only mounted as he just hang there and nothing happened. The servants of Morgoth were clever, they knew that the fear of torture was even worse than the torture itself. He heard screams, heard others dying, heard flesh being ripped apart, heard the gleeful chuckling from orcs, delighting in the agony of their victims. He heard orcs roaring in pleasure, heard pitiful screams and prayers for salvation, for death, for a way out.

When they finally came for him he was so weak he couldn't stand and what they did was so deliberately cruel, so devilishly cunning. Words were their tools at first, cruel words who spoke just lies, just empty filthy lies about his father, about them all. But there was a grain of truth in those lies, even he could see it and as the days and weeks went he knew that that grain was far greater than anyone could have guessed. When the pride of who he had been was smashed into the mud, soiled and defiled they started breaking who he was. He had been a prince, had been a king, now they used him for their own perverted pleasure and he thought that nothing could be worse than that. He was begging, screaming, they never quit. They allowed him to heal between the rapes and beatings and it made it so much worse.

And the voice, that terrible voice, slick with self content, with wickedness and malice, telling him he was nothing, worthless, a worm. He just wished for death to find him, for an end to this torment. He was probably going to be condemned by Mandos forever but everything was better than this. And then he was hauled from the cell, hauled from the bowels of that terrible fortress and he was certain that this was it. They were going to kill him, he was of no further value to the dark lord. He didn't mind, death would be salvation. But it wasn't to be so, he was chained to the mountain, hanging there alone and abandoned and no torture could ever be more cruel, that loneliness and loss of hope almost crushed his soul. The body grew senseless, his soul didn't although he wished that it had.

When Fingon found him and got him down minus his right hand he spent a long time trying to recover, but he never fully healed. There was a dark abyss within him, a void where he had stored it all, all the hatred and the fear and the darkness he now carried with him. There was no way to escape it, it was forever a part of his soul and he had to admit that it still was, Mandos had obviously not been able to remove it from him. He just had to accept that he was forever stained, tainted. He was almost certain that the dark lord sooner or later would have been able to make an orc out of him, luckily that fiery spirit of his ancestry had protected him.

He woke up rather early, feeling rested but also in doubt. He didn't look forward to travelling but he knew he had to. Irelen had been busy while he slept. By the bed he saw a set of boots, a huge warm cloak and a shirt and a belt with a rather good knife and some blankets too. He felt his heart swelling with gratitude and Irelen came in and she grinned. " It isn't much but it will make a world of difference for you."

He got up, got dressed and Irelen had packed some food and a few kettles and other equipment needed for camping. She sent him a sweet smile. "Lannam and one of the other boys will escort you, they have been given a map. You should be able to find the hidden valley thus, but it will be a long journey."

He felt something swelling in his chest, if he only had been able to speak. He bent down and hugged her, hard. Irelen giggled and she hugged him back. Kissed his cheek and it made him blush. "There there you big oaf, you don't owe me anything, Caring for you have been a pleasure."

He felt tears in his eyes and wasn't ashamed to let her see that. She touched his cheek gently. "The boys are waiting already, they are well prepared. "

He got the cloak on, with the clothes and the equipment he had been given he felt more like himself again, ready to take on the world. He got out of the hut and saw that many had gathered to bid him farewell. Lannam and a boy who presented himself as Olof stood there holding a mule each, the type bred from draft horses and the animals were large and very calm. The blacksmith stood there with a very large black horse by his side. He petted the animal gently and Maedhros liked the horse immediately. It was sturdy and friendly but had plenty of strength and endurance. It wasn't a racehorse but he hoped that he wouldn't need that sort of speed. The blacksmith handed him the reins. "His name is Hammer, he is above his best years but he is still a very good

horse."

Maedhros smiled and pressed the man's hand. He wished he could express his gratitude and the blacksmith sniggered. "You taught me some tricks with that sword, that is very valuable. Consider that payment."

He nodded and Irelen hugged him again. "Have a safe journey my friend, and remember us."

He felt almost dizzy, he didn't want to go. Lannam and Olof were already in the saddle so he took a deep breath and got up onto Hammer, the horse was very tall but very fitting for him and he found that he could ride without too much discomfort. He saw many who smiled at him, waved their hands and he smiled back, almost shy all of a sudden. Irelen even blew him a kiss and he blushed and swore to himself that he would carry them with him in his memories forever. He made Hammer trot after the two mules and knew that he was about to enter a new chapter of his life, the future lay in front of him like an unused canvas and he wondered what destiny had in store for him now.

Glorfindel and the three others had been travelling for more than a week now, they were back in familiar terrain and could ride fast and Glorfindel had gotten more and more impatient. He needed to get Halariel to Elrond, and he was greatly worried for her She had grown so silent, so lethargic and that playful energy that had mesmerized him when he first met her seemed to be gone. It was as if the very light within her was extinguished and he was so sorry, he was so terribly sorry if his attempt at seeing her true self was the cause of this. He shouldn't have done it and he was well aware of that fact.

They hadn't encountered any problems so far, no orcs, no danger at all and he hoped that they would reach Imladris in a couple of days. He was watching over her like a hawk, he never let her out of his sight and the twins did the hunting and gathering that was needed. They rode down along a narrow valley when they saw a wagon that was pulled by two grey horses. A couple of riders followed it and Elrohir recognized the wagon. It was a travelling merchant who went from town to town, selling cloth, ribbons, jewelry, pots and pans and almost everything they could imagine. The old man was very friendly and the two had often encountered the human who always had a funny story to tell or some candy to give to eager children or elflings alike.

Glorfindel felt a bit uncertain but if the merchant had something a bit better than what Halariel was currently wearing then it would be nice. They had money and so they rode down towards the wagon. The merchant recognized them from afar and called out, he waved his hands in joy and his guards stopped their horses. It was two young men, probably his grandsons. Old Albeth got down from the drivers seat and bowed, the elves stopped their horses and dismounted. "My lords Elladan, Elrohir, lord Glorfindel, what a delight to meet you again."

Albeth was grinning from ear to ear and he was a truly nice person, one the elves knew they could trust. " Albeth, we are glad to see you are well."

The old man nodded. " Oh, you know, these old bones are aching but I cannot complain, my own father was laying in bed shitting himself not knowing who, where or what he was at my age so I guess I can say I am blessed."

He noticed Halariel and his eyes got wide. " And who may this flower be? That is a fair face which I never have had the pleasure of resting my eyes upon."

Glorfindel tried to smile. "This is Halariel, she is ill and we are heading back to Imladris, Lord Elrond must have a look at her."

Albeth cocked his head, "Ill? Oh what misery, such a fair thing and to suffer, the world is not a place where justice rules, be sure of that."

Elladan hawked. " Ah, as I am sure you see our friend here is wearing some less than…decent…garments. We wondered if you have a dress?"

Albeth grinned. " A dress? But of course my young lords, of course"

He snapped his fingers. " Gier, the black chest please."

The young boy went into the wagon and came back pulling a very huge heavy chest after him, he opened it and Albeth grinned. He pulled some clothes out of it and at the bottom he found some dresses. Glorfindel had lowered Halariel down from Asfaloth and she just stood there, looking utterly lost. Albeth threw some glances at her. "Hmm, tall, very tall indeed. And such nice…ahm, attributes. Curvy I would say, yes, let us see here."

He pulled forth a dress that made the elves stare, it was made from velvet so dark green it almost looked black and there were gold and silver lace stitched onto the linings and the end of the sleeves. It was a dress which probably was rather expensive but they could very well imagine that it would look amazing on her. "This should fit her, I believe. "

Halariel blinked and stared at the dress, she looked confused but then there was a small light of understanding growing in her eyes and she giggled and grasped it, ran behind the wagon to try it on. Glorfindel was just staring, he suddenly felt hope renewed, she hadn't reacted to anything at all lately.

Before long she returned and they were right, the dress looked amazing on her and the sight made the two young men just stare with their eyes and mouths wide open. Albeth slapped his grandsons across the back of their heads. " Boys, mind your manners, you are drooling are you"

They pulled their eyes to themselves, with some difficulties. Halariel was grinning and her eyes were shining as she took some dance steps over the grass. Albeth leaned closer to Glorfindel. "What is wrong with her?"

Glorfindel tried to smile, he was really having problems watching her like this, gods, she was beyond beautiful, she was stunning. "It was a shock, she has forgotten her past, and how to speak."

Albeth shook his head. "Poor poor dear, now, I am sure Elrond will be able to fix that in a flash, he did fix my wife when she had that nasty lump in her breast."

Glorfindel nodded. " Yes, I remember. I do have faith yes."

Elrohir handed the old man a rather generous amount of money and Albeth bowed and accepted with a grin. " You could buy four dresses for that lad."

Elrohir just shrugged. "You need the money."

Elladan got back onto his horse. " So, have you seen anything out of the ordinary of late?"

Albeth shook his head. " Not much, orcs, some not so trustworthy people, the usual stuff you know."

Glorfindel helped Halariel back onto the horse, now it was getting rather hard imagining riding with her in front of him in the saddle. "You are brave to travel thus, with just two guards."

Albeth nodded. "So say they all, but we stick to the main roads and travel only by day and the gods have looked upon me with kind eyes until now so I just hope they continue to do so."

The elves were back on their horses and Albeth grasped a small box and tossed it to Glorfindel. "Here, I didn't pay him for healing my wife, he said he didn't want anything, but I came across that thing in a small village to the north and it isn't much but a token of my gratitude, Please give it to him."

Glorfindel smiled gently and stuffed the box into the saddlebag. " I most certainly will my friend."

Albeth crawled back up onto the wagon and the horses started moving again, Glorfindel stared after it. Elladan smiled and Halariel was fidgeting with her dress the whole time. She seemed to be completely transfixed with it. The lace and the fabric and everything, it had obviously touched her more vain side and every woman wants to look good. The problem was, she did look too darn good now, and Glorfindel had to admit to himself that these last days before they reached the hidden valley would be tough on him. Sitting there in front of him in the saddle he saw most of her chest and since she wasn't that lethargic anymore she started to affect his libido in a very invigorating way. He groaned inwardly and spurred the horse, yes, the days would be long indeed and the nights even longer.


	6. Of vengeance and fountains

Chapter six: Of vengeance and fountains

They had gotten into a nice routine after a couple of days, Maedhros was getting used to riding again and he enjoyed watching the landscape and the freedom of the open roads but he still felt a bit nervous. It was something that was bothering him but he couldn't quite put his finger on it, he just felt tense and skittish and he didn't manage to rest really well at all. They had made camp in some holts of dense forest where they couldn't be seen and he was impressed by Lannam and Olof and the way the boys made camp. They were used to it and even though the huge elf couldn't speak they liked his company.

He tried to be helpful and they entertained him with stories from their short lives. He really enjoyed hearing about the things they had experienced, he laughed when Lannam told him of how the village drunk had ended up in the pig sty with a very angry pig and gotten bitten badly and Olof told him of a farmer who tried to tame a moose and use it as a horse. These boys were so young, so inexperienced and to them life was full of joy and excitement. There were no dark clouds throwing shadows upon their eager young minds and he did envy them. They were innocent, in a way he probably never had been.

He did miss the village in some ways but he knew that he ought to be with other elves, the humans were obviously not very used to his race and he guessed that the time of elves were coming to an end. The boys didn't know very much of the things that were going on in the world but they spoke of old battles and of orcs and other foul creatures and he felt that nervous sensation again. He had a sword, and that was it. No bow or arrows, no really good weapons. If they encountered orcs they would be in serious trouble very fast, and he wished that he could have told the boys what to do in case of an emergency.

He thought of Timar too, would the man try to seek his vengeance by attacking the village? He feared that alternative but he hoped that the human would have enough common sense to know that he had left. But what if Timar was to follow them? What if he wanted to get even by attacking Maedhros here out in the wilds? That was a very real possibility and the tall elf was watching their surroundings with keep eyes the whole time, he never rested and he was always ready to fight.

They had made camp by a small lake a few days into the journey, they had found a nice campsite and the boys had caught some large birds and they had cooked them and turned them into a very nice meal. Maedhros was relaxed, he felt rather at ease in this place and it was so secluded he didn't think anyone could find them there. He allowed himself to sleep and he woke up feeling well rested and a bit hungry. He had been in the bushes to relieve himself when he noticed that Olof's blankets were empty, the boy was nowhere to be seen and he thought that the lad maybe had gone to the lake to bathe. Lannam was asleep and woke up and he looked a bit worried, he called for Olof and there was no answer.

Maedhros felt scared, the feeling was very sudden and very strong and he started to walk around the camp site, checking for tracks. He found something not far from the camp, the footprints of at least two men, both wearing good boots and moving with the stealth of someone well used to sneaking around. And they had been dragging something after them when they left.

Lannam went quiet when he showed the young human the footprints, he sort of understood what had happened and he was fearing for his friends life. He and Olof had grown up together, they shared everything usually and this was terrible. Maedhros felt a heavy lump in his gut, this was his fault, he knew what Timar was thinking. He was trying to get to the elf through the people surrounding him, the worm was using innocent bystanders as tools, as a way to torment the elf. There was just one thing to do and that was to confront the brute but how?

He had only his sword and Timar probably had many men, he would have to analyze the situation carefully. He had to find the place where the human had made camp and see if he could spot any weaknesses and he tried to make sure that Lannam stayed put where he was. He could not both spy on the enemy and look after the young human and Lannam seemed to understand what Maedhros was trying to explain. He stayed with the mules and the elf's horse and Maedhros left their camp with a feeling of combined dread and determination. What did this Timar really believe that he was? Some ancient warlord? Eru himself?

Timar was probably unaccustomed to the way elves fight and Maedhros felt how old instincts and skills returned to him as he made his way through the terrain. It was partly open but not very flat and he knew how to use the landscape to his advantage. Before long he could see a faint light in the distance and he could smell smoke. It was a camp and it was rather large, he saw a small herd of horses and there were men scurrying around. If they tried to stay hidden they did a remarkably lousy job. There was a holt of huge trees surrounding the campsite and he saw that they had lit several fires. Maedhros was a noldo, his people didn't have such a close connection with the forest as the Avari elves had but he was able to communicate with the trees nonetheless.

He felt their sense of anger and resentment, these humans had chopped of living branches to use as firewood and they had trampled around, hurting young saplings. He felt them welcome him and he quickly got up into the canopy and started running along the branches without making even the smallest sound. It was rather dark since the trees had dense foliage and he soon found a spot where he could stay hidden. It was a sort of bowl shaped hollow between two branches high in an ancient elm and when he curled up in there he was invisible to anyone down on the ground. He caressed the hilt of Reaver and started to pay attention to the camp underneath him.

He quickly saw Olof, the boy lay on his belly bent over the stem of a fallen tree and he was tied down, the back was covered with angry welts and the elf realized that they had whipped him. It made him feel sick, angry, terrified. Why? The boy had never hurt them, he hadn't done anything wrong, he was a child by Eru. He couldn't see if the boy moved at all and hoped that he just was unconscious.

He didn't see Timar until the sun reached zenith and then he got another shock, the man was obviously preparing for battle for he wore armor. It was ill fitted and it was old and worn but made by an expert without doubt. Maedhros had to grin, wearing armor made for someone else is never a really good idea and he remembered his own suit of armor from the battles of old. Nobody else could have worn that. He wished that he had it now, but then again, he was much more silent without it. Timar did strut quite a bit, held his head high, grinned viciously and swung a sword. Maedhros wondered where he had gotten hold of it, it was a very good blade, also rather old but it had been taken good care of and it was shiny and made from good steel. It was a better blade than Reaver and he clenched his jaws together, How was he to deal with this?

He was by far a better fighter than Timar, everybody could see that and the armor wouldn't protect the man at all even though he obviously believed that it would.

But Timar wasn't alone, the elf saw several bowmen and a couple of rather vicious looking crossbows and there had to be at least thirty men in all there. He could not attack without risking his own life and he had no intention of dying yet again. He sat there trying to come up with some plan and he saw that Olof still hadn't moved. Did Timar perhaps think that Maedhros would come to save the boy, just walk straight into the camp like some dumbass orc?

Maedhros was waiting for the darkness to fall and he sat rather comfortably where he was. He didn't need to eat or drink as often as a human and he could stay in the tree for days if he needed to. He was relaxed and yet worried for the boy and he wondered why the idiots had taken the lad and not attacked him, where they too scared of him? Did they want to face him somewhere where they felt safe and in control? He had no idea, he just hoped that they would make a mistake that could reveal some weak spot in their defenses.

Suddenly there were laughter, and shouts and he froze, stared down from the tree with huge eyes. Two men came walking and they were dragging Lannam behind them. The boy was hogtied and they had tied a piece of cloth around his mouth to silence him. Maedhros moaned, had Lannam disobeyed him or had the sons of bitches actually gone to their camp yet again to catch also this lad? Why?

The men spoke to Timar and Maedhros managed to catch a few words of the conversation even though they spoke with low voices. Lannam had tried to sneak into the camp on his own, probably to save his friend and Maedhros moaned inwardly. Now he suddenly had two to worry about and he didn't like this at all. Timar gestured for the men and they dragged Lannam away and some men did also untie Olof and removed him from the log to which he had been tied. He could only hope that they just wished to place the two boys in a more secure place.

The day crept by, slowly. He felt a sort of rage within which he hadn't felt for ages, it was almost painful and he started to work on a plan. He could probably manage to snatch one of the bows and some arrows, he was an excellent archer after all and it would give him an advantage. He could not challenge Timar to single handed combat, if he won Timar's men were probably ordered to shot him.

It got dark, the humans had lit several bonfires and they threw quite a lot of light around, made everything very visible. Maedhros was getting ready to leave the tree when he heard something, something that made his skin crawl. It was screams, muffled screams. He felt how a chill ran down his spine, slowly he left the hollow and crept through the trees, not making even a leaf move. What he saw almost stopped his heart, he could not believe what he was seeing and had to blink a few times just to get his mind straight. They had hung Olof by his feet from a branch and they had slit his throat, as if he was some sheep they were to slaughter. He had probably been unconscious and that was a blessing, he didn't see his end coming. The humans had killed him swiftly just because he couldn't offer them any sort of entertainment. Maedhros was aghast, were these humans? They behaved like orcs, worse than orcs.

He gasped when he saw Lannam, the boy was still alive but what they were doing was so awful he realized that these men were mad, high on power and able to do horrendous crimes. They had placed the lad on a small and very wobbly chair and tied a noose around his neck, the rope was rather tight and if the boy lost his balance he would suffocate. The really bad thing was that they had built a fire around the chair and Lannam had the choice between being burned slowly or getting hanged. The boy was trying to scream, his pants were on fire already and he tried to keep his balance in spite of the terrible pain. The men were laughing, grinning like crazy and Timar was laughing the hardest of all.

Maedhros felt tears running down his cheeks, tears of disbelief and sorrow and pain, there was nothing he could do to save the lad. He had no bow, if he had he would have ended the suffering with a well aimed arrow but he just had to watch the torture. He could not attack without risking his own life and he could do nothing, nothing at all. It was the worse feeling he had ever had, these boys had been innocent, their only crime was to accompany him. He remembered his two foster sons and slowly the feeling of shock and disbelief was being replaced by something Maedhros had always feared. Hatred, it was such a consuming and negative feeling but he didn't care, not anymore. He had seen how hatred had consumed and destroyed his brothers and his father, had seen it drive good men insane but he welcomed it now, embraced it.

The chair crumbled and he didn't watch, he turned his gaze away from the now burning writhing body, closed his heart and his mind, let only ice cold determination remain. He stared at Timar, his eyes blazing and his teeth bared in a sneer. In this moment he was as insane as his younger brothers had been, as hungry for death and vengeance as any of them ever had been. He growled, clenched his hands into fists, so hard his fingernails cut his palms but he didn't feel the pain, all he felt was the anger, the need to avenge these two young lives with blood and death. He looked at Timar and made a promise. " You will be the last one I kill, mark my words, you will be left alone and when you think you are safe I will come for you!"

Maedhros fled through the trees, got away from the camp and he started making a plan as he went. He wanted them dead, all of them. They were to face something they never had faced before and he wasn't going to quit until he had felled each and every one of these beasts. He would be just as bad as they were but he didn't care. He was already a monster, the gods probably understood this situation, at least he hoped that they would.

He got to the small glen where their horses grazed and saw that they were unguarded. He smiled, a rather grim smile and got down from the trees slowly so he wouldn't startle the beasts. The horses were small ragged animals and they all were skinny with sores from spurs and cruel beatings. They looked at him with nervous eyes and he mumbled softly to them, calmed them down. He could not speak but they sensed his good intentions and the leader of the flock approached him, it was an old mare wearing a rather silly looking head gear which was made to make the horse look intimidating but all it did was to cause her discomfort and pain. He removed it swiftly, got all the tack of the animals and tossed it down into a deep ravine. Then he told the horses to flee, to run as far away as they could and they didn't hesitate. The flock ran off towards the east and the elf smiled. The men were on foot now and he quickly ran to the small camp and saw that the mules and Hammer still were there. The animals hadn't let anyone catch them and he petted Hammer on the shiny black coat, spoke to the horse with his thoughts "Now old boy, how would you like to become a destrier?"

The huge horse just rubbed its soft nose against the elf's chest and Maedhros went to prepare his future actions, his fair face grim and his mind darker than it had ever been before.

Glorfindel had come to regret the purchase, Halariel was obviously able to understand that she looked good in the dress and she appreciated the feminine quality it gave her but she still acted like a child in many ways and she had no sense of dignity nor decency. She would pull the skirts up around her waist just to look at the dress and the twins would turn around with burning cheeks and ears, she was wriggling around in the saddle to get comfortable and the dress did something the tunic and the blanket skirt hadn't. It really made him realize that he had a grown female in the saddle in front of him. And her behavior was both scandalous and very arousing at the same time, he didn't know what was worse.

She didn't understand when he tried to explain to her that she shouldn't do these things, she just stared at him with huge eyes and she did look rather confused and even hurt when he raised his voice. They rode rather hard now since they knew the terrain and Glorfindel couldn't get back home fast enough, he was so longing for someone else to be in charge of this…thing. And at the same time the idea of someone else being with her made him feel a sort of anger he hadn't experienced before, he couldn't quite recognize the feeling. She wasn't lethargic anymore, that was for darn sure. Instead she seemed to be filled with reckless energy and she was climbing all over the horse, squealing and grinning and humming. Asfaloth was getting rather annoyed and Glorfindel promised the stallion a very nice meal when they got back home, just to compensate for all the mane pulling and neck hanging.

They made camp one last time, they had crossed the borders to Imladris now and were safe and so they could start a fire and cook some decent food. The twins had caught some conies and transformed them into stew and Glorfindel got yet another worry. She had no manners, whatsoever. They had of course noticed that before but now it became even more apparent, she ate with her fingers and it seemed as though half of the stew ended up on the outside of her face. If she had remembered who she had been it was forgotten now, she acted like a four year old elfling and Glorfindel decided that they would have to treat her like some overgrown toddler. He wasn't exactly looking forward to meeting Lord Elrond carrying this elleth over his shoulder like a slaughtered animal but it was probably the only way he could keep her under control.

As usual when they settled down for the night she became extremely clingy and he sighed and did as he usually had, satisfied her with his hands and stayed by her side until she had fallen asleep. Then he took a short walk into the bushes to satisfy himself before he returned to sleep. She was making him crazy, he couldn't help it. Her lack of anything even remotely resembling shyness and proper behavior would have that effect on any healthy male who wasn't completely gay and he feared that someone would take advantage of her.

He would have to make it clear to everyone that she was under his protection, that she was off limits for everybody else. But he wasn't going to go all the way with her, it wouldn't be right. He still felt as though she needed to know what she was doing if she really wanted to lay with him, it wouldn't be fair otherwise. He wanted her, he had to be honest with himself but just desire wasn't enough. He had never been the type to bed others just for the sheer heck of it, he always wanted there to be at least some deeper feelings involved. Love wasn't needed but he wanted respect and understanding, that was the least he would require from a partner. She was making it hard though, it was charming that she trusted him and cuddled up against him like a kitten but it did wreak havoc on his self-control. She was so darn well made, so gorgeous and if a normal sane elleth had approached him like that he would have been helpless to resist. As it was now he suffered and longed for his own room where the door could be locked.

They were met by some guards and Glorfindel had managed to hold her in front of him in such a manner that the dress at least covered her legs, she was squirming and acted as though she was greatly insulted by this but he didn't care. The guards greeted them with joy and relief and he felt happy to be back but he had a strange sensation of foreboding. The real trouble would start now, he just knew it! The guards stared at the strange elleth with wide eyes, they had never seen anyone who looked thus before and Glorfindel sent them a rather stiff grin. "Don't ask mellyn nin, you are bound to hear everything soon enough"

Elladan had to stifle a rather vicious chuckle, oh how they were looking forward to this. " Is our father at home?"

The leader of the guards nodded, he still couldn't quite get over the strange elleth, was she a lunatic or something? He had never heard of any elf being mad? " Ah yes my lord, Lord Elrond is at home, he is waiting for you, we have sent words of your arrival."

Elladan smiled, he was tired and looking forward to a hot bath, a good decent meal, some miruvor and then his own soft bed. And he wasn't going to leave it again anytime soon.

Elrohir stared at Halariel, she was getting a bit tense now, they could see the last homely house now and she was obviously nervous but fascinated too. Glorfindel held her very tightly now and he feared that she would go into a fit of panic when she encountered more elves. The guards hadn't spooked her though so maybe it would be alright?

They rode across the bridge and onto the small courtyard, some stable workers where there to take care of the horses and Glorfindel was glad to see Elrond there, he stood next to his counsellor Erestor and both turned their heads and stared. Glorfindel suddenly wished that they could have covered Halariels shaved head with something. She did look more than odd and the sores were still visible. Elrond just blinked and Elladan and Elrohir got off their horses and gave him a swift hug before they left. This they would prefer to let Glorfindel deal with.

Elrond walked towards them, he stared up at his captain and the elleth he was holding in front of him, she was very beautiful but at the same time a mess, thin, pale, scars and sores that were in the process of healing everywhere. What in the name of Eru was this? He swallowed, stared at the face and a weird sensation rose within him, he had seen that face before, in a masculine form. The eyes, the shape of it, she was a redhead beyond doubt and the height? Morgoths balls?!

Glorfindel sighed. "Elrond, meet Halariel, she is…Maedhros daughter!"

Just for once the peredhel was unable to find any words to say.

Erestor stared too and Halariel became uncomfortable, there were several males there, they were dark haired and tall and she didn't feel safe, she grasped onto Glorfindel and whimpered and his her face towards his chest, blinked and wanted to be gone from this strange place. He held her gently and saw how Elrond just had gotten pale and the confusion he felt was obvious. " My lord, I suggest we go indoors, there are things we need to discuss. "

Elrond nodded, he still couldn't believe what Glorfindel said but he was going into healer mode, she wasn't healthy by far and she looked as though she didn't understand the situation at all. He swallowed. "Fin, is she?"

Glorfindel made a grimace. "Yes, quite insane, not at all normal. Believe me, you have never encountered something like her, ever!"

Elrond stared as Glorfindel lowered the elleth to the ground and dismounted. " Well, I have experienced a lot during the ages and"

Glorfindel interrupted him. " Ever! I mean it, believe me my lord. You will not doubt my words whence I have explained this."

Halariel stared around her, she was nervous but the strange males didn't seem hostile and she saw so many weird and amazing things. She was thirsty and it was a rather hot day so she giggled and ran over to some water she saw by the nearest building, threw herself down onto her knees and started drinking eagerly. Elrond gasped and turned to Glorfindel, his eyes wide with disbelief. "She is drinking from the horse's water trough?"

Glorfindel nodded with an embarrassed expression. " My lord, forget that she is a grown elleth, think four year old elfling instead, with the physical needs of an adult but no knowledge about speech, proper behavior or decency."

Erestor groaned and did a facepalm, turned around. She had pulled her skirts up underneath her armpits and showed them everything as she jumped into the water trough to cool down. Elrond stared at Glorfindel. " Eru have mercy upon us all!"

Maedhros was prepared, he had no idea of what Timar had anticipated and he didn't care. He would do this his own way, and it would not be pretty. He had let the two mules lose, they would return home soon enough and he had placed the things the boys had brought with them on the animals. He had no use for it and it belonged to their families. He had braided his hair and tied it up in warrior braids, then he had covered his skin with mud and juice from berries and he had put on just a pair of breeches and a west. He felt ready, eager even. Adrenaline was flowing through him and he didn't feel any doubt now. He was ready to kill, and he would never hesitate again.

He rode a part of the way, then he left his horse and approached the camp from the north. The men were angry, their horses had run off and they had to move forth on foot and to them that was almost the end of the world. Being Timar's brave troops meant that they were looked upon with fear and respect and being on foot meant losing much of the intimidating effect. They felt safe, didn't bother to stay alert, after all they were many and who would dare to attack them? It was a mistake no elven leader would allow anyone to make and he grinned as he silently slid through the back of the camp and snatched two bows and some quivers filled with arrows.

The weapons were not very good, they were too small and the arrows were not very sharp nor were they perfectly fletched but they would do the job. He disappeared into the shadows again and placed some arrows in specific locations around the campsite. He had it all planned. Timar sat on his own and he looked triumphant somehow, maybe he thought that he had managed to scare the elf or chased him off. It would take more than a lousy human to make Maedhros shake in his boots and the elf had mapped the entire camp area in his mind. The men had put up some tents and kept their things there so the first thing he did was setting fire to one of the rather rackety tents.

The inhabitants came running, screaming curses and trying to rescue their belongings and Maedhros knew that this little incident would keep the humans occupied for a while. He ran through the woods until he reached the other side of the camp, there he did sneak through the bushes and he stole the crossbows and more bows. He did drop the weapons into a hollow tree, it wasn't likely that the men would find them again. Now he had the only bows available and before long the humans discovered that someone had stolen their weapons.

He waited in a tree, patiently like a predator. He wanted to let these humans simmer in their own fear for a while, wanted to let them experience real terror. He would play them like a talented musician plays an instrument and his plan started to work right away. The humans were accusing each other of having stolen the bows, or having misplaced them and the men were scurrying around, searching for the bows. Maedhros slipped through the shadows like a huge cat, grasped a few men and killed them without a sound, hid the bodies in the bushes before moving on. He kept moving, kept himself hidden.

Before long the missing men were noticed and now the atmosphere changed, from angry to nervous. The men gathered in groups, nervously watching their surroundings and Timar was suddenly losing his confidence. He had thought that the elf would fight like Timar would, go for the leader, show himself and then Timar would let the men do the dirty job but no. He had miscalculated the enemy and he realized that he was in trouble. The night would soon be over though and he was rather certain that they would be safe when daylight returned.

He was wrong. Very wrong, just as the first light started to pour through the trees arrows started flying and they seemed to come from everywhere, the sharp morning light did blind the men and they didn't see the tall figure that ran through the forest like some ghost, firing as he went.

Maedhros didn't kill them all, just a third of them. He didn't want this to end too soon, no, he wanted Timar to suffer as the boys had suffered. When he had finished shooting he returned to the woods, sought shelter in a tall tree and stayed there for the remainder of the day. He listened though, heard their voices, frightened and confused and Timar was the worst of them all in spite of his attempts at sounding calm. There was a shrill tone to his voice, as if it was about to crack and reveal the coward within and the elf grinned and ate some dried meat, just to keep up his strength.

The men wanted to leave, wanted to seek shelter somewhere where they were surrounded by others. They wanted to be surrounded by thick stone walls, by light and guards. But their horses were gone and they didn't want to walk, walking meant being vulnerable. Timar refused to walk like some commoner and he sent two men out to look for the horses. They didn't return, both were found in a nearby river, drowned and weighed down by rocks no man could manage to move. Timar was starting to feel really nervous now, he was starting to see the tactics this elf was using and he didn't understand. Elves didn't fight like that? It was tactics he would have used or even orcs. So this elf wasn't like the others and he didn't like the feeling of insecurity. He had always been able to judge his opponent and failed to see that this was because his opponent always had been someone way weaker than himself. If he had come face to face with a real warrior he would have failed miserably.

The day came to an end, the men had been arguing and they were getting more and more fearful. The night was returning and with it the darkness. They built fires and gathered around them, watching the forest with fear. Maedhros couldn't believe how idiotic these humans were, the fires did ruin that precious little they had resembling night vision and they were obvious targets too. He would never have made such a blunder but they would soon enough pay for the mistake. He shot a couple of men and watched them fall and the others did panic.

Timar was shouting orders, they put out the fires and gathered in small groups in the darkness, it was perhaps a wise move if their opponent had been human too. Maedhros wasn't surprised, Timar did have some common sense after all but it wouldn't save them. He was perfectly capable of moving through the dark forest and he found that he enjoyed toying with these brutes.

He would sneak up on them, injure one of two with some swift stabs with a blade and then be gone before the victim even had time to realize what had happened and the men were getting more and more afraid. He was pushing them to their breaking point, they had no strong leader to calm them down and give them confidence. They had become like a pack of animals, it was each man for himself now and soon one of the small groups left.

They just ran for it and he did let them run for a while, he even let them believe that they had made it. The end was quick but brutal, he just went into a full frontal attack and the four men didn't stand a chance even though they tried to fight him. He took the heads off two of them and stabbed one through the chest, the last one he caught by his braid and snapped the man's neck as if it had been a rotten twig.

The remainder of the small army were scared shitless by now, they were gathered around Timar and Maedhros grinned to himself. They wouldn't stay there for long, he just knew it. They would leave by the first break of day and he would be ready for them. He didn't attack again that night, he just left them to shiver and cower in fear and some of them were wounded and their moans and pleas for help didn't exactly help create a cheerful atmosphere.

They had often done that, he remembered the tricks now. They had wounded orcs to create fear and slow the enemy down, he had no more compassion for these humans than he had for the orcs he had slain back ages ago. They were filth, vermin, tainted by the shadows and he could see their hearts and knew that they were as dark and wicked as any orcs. He hoped that this wasn't the norm, that most humans were like the friendly people of the village. He rested for a while, ate and drank and kept an eye on the humans. They left the forest rather early, fleeing the scene like a pack of lemmings and the tall elf grinned. He wanted to let them think they were safe.

The humans were crossing a rather open area when evening fell, it was a moor covered with bracken and tall dry grass and they were almost running in spite of their fatigue. Timar wasn't used to such speed, he had shed most of his armor and he was sweating and panting. The men were seriously contemplating leaving him behind, after all, he was the one who had gotten them into this mess. If he hadn't insisted on killing the two boys they would have had hostages, something they could use for bargaining. Now they were defenseless and the monster that was chasing them was way superior to any of them, he had the advantage now.

When the darkness started to fall again the men caught the scent of smoke and saw fires on the horizon, the moor was on fire and they had to run to escape the flames. The dry grass burned fast and panic caught them. They didn't really see where they were going and the smoke was blinding them, some ran straight over a cliff to their death while others were pierced by arrows.

Maedhros had mounted Hammer again, he was riding and the huge horse was so calm he was able to ride through the burning landscape without the horse getting too spooked by the flames. He used the smoke as a cover and before long he knew that only Timar was left alive. The leader was shivering like a child, moaning and screaming whenever he thought he saw movements and the elf followed the man from a distance.

If anyone had seen him now they would have recognized him from the battles of old, it was the same cold glance, the same darkened expression as so many had seen and feared. He was returning to the person he had been so long ago and it wasn't what the Valar had intended at all, but destiny can sometimes play its own game and it doesn't really care that much about the plans of others.

Timar ran for his life, he could hear hooves against the ground, heard a horse snorting, heard a strange hollow sounding laughter. He was desperate, why had his gods abandoned him? Didn't they see his grand future, his natural right to leadership, his right to rule? Truly these lands had never produced anyone as worthy of ruling as him?

He was after all such a marvelous person and a born leader, so why in the name of heck did his men disobey him, just look what had happened to them, they had gotten themselves killed, that was the truth. If they just had stayed and listened to him he was sure they would have been able to win even against this enemy. Timar had ran for hours when he spotted a small barn ahead, it was made from stone and wood and was rather old, but it was a place to hide and he was drawn towards it as if pulled by a magnet. He would rest and regain his strength there and then he would gather some more men and hunt down that goddamn elf. He wouldn't be satisfied before he had that goddamn creatures head on a spike and he imagined having that long red hair turned into a belt or something, yes, that would be very fitting indeed.

Glorfindel managed to get Halariel into Elronds office and he caught her attention with a small crystal ball used as a decoration, she was mesmerized by the pretty thing and he quickly told Elrond of everything that had happened. He was still afraid he had injured her by probing her mind without her consent and Elrond was a bit angry at him but he did understand too. He wished that he could examine her powers closely but it wouldn't be possible before she was able to understand what it was that was happening. Interfering was too dangerous and Elrond was both shocked and intrigued by her.

He had truly mourned his foster father's death and knew that he had seen a side of the two oldest feanorian brothers few others had witnessed. Yes, they had been rather firm and very strict but loving, very loving. And now this, Maedhros own daughter, conceived in a very disturbing manner yes but there was no doubt about the elleth's origin.

Elrond did pity the girl, she was so innocent and yet so troubled, it was no wonder her mind had shut itself down. There had to be something they could do to help her but what? She couldn't speak, the only words she managed to say were Glorfindel's name and s few cusswords he suspected she had learned from his sons. He ordered some servants to prepare a room next to Glorfindel's and get some clothes. She was very tall and thin and he suspected that they didn't have any dresses that really fit her. She was a peculiar sight with the shaved head but he did understand why Glorfindel had removed her hair. It was just such a bizarre sight, he had never encountered a bald elf before.

Glorfindel was suffering, he had to make sure that Halariel was being fed and she did follow him to the dining hall but she managed to create an utter mess since she started throwing cutlery and plates everywhere and she put her hands into the pots and pans and tried to get a taste of everything there. It felt like babysitting a toddler. The other elves there were staring with wide eyes and some looked rather worried, Glorfindel sent them a sneer and growled, he didn't like this at all but he had to do what Elrond wanted of him. She trusted him and he had to make sure that she was comfortable. He got her back to the room and there he managed to get her into a thin chemise and put her to bed. She was tired but she had eaten half a carrot cake and it was so sweet she had gotten the sugar high of all times and he swore to himself that she would have crawled all over the ceiling if the laws of physics had allowed it.

She was tossing and turning and squealing when he tried to make her lay still. He had to use a sleeping spell, he didn't like it at all since it was a dirty trick but it worked and he got back to his own room and took a long warm bath before he went to bed. He hoped that she would sleep for a few days, he needed the rest. Unfortunately he was in no such luck, he was shaken out of his slumber by a very wide eyed Lindir, the minstrel looked as if he had seen an army of orcs and Glorfindel groaned and stared at the normally so serene young ellon. " What?!"

Lindir stepped back and swallowed, his adams apple was bobbing up and down. " Ah, the elleth you brought with you yesterday?!"

Glorfindel moaned. " Yes?"

Lindir made an apologetic grimace. " Not to disturb you my lord but she is bathing in the fountain….wearing only a nightgown."

Glorfindel cussed so bad Lindir went paper white, then he threw a dressing robe around himself and ran. Lindir was right, Halariel was in the huge fountain which was placed in the main square of Imladris, just in front of the hall of fire. She was splashing around like a kid, squealing and enjoying herself but the chemise she wore was white and now it was wet and acted more like a second layer of skin, a very translucent one. The fountain was surrounded by elves, mostly very cheerful males and a few very angry females, there was a lot of leering going on and Glorfindel just snapped. He had been ripped out of pleasant dreams and she was to blame for it. He jumped into the fountain and grasped her rather violently. She squealed and started resisting, she didn't know why he was so angry and she got a bit scared and confused. It didn't bother her that there were others there and she liked that the other males were looking at her. She had found that she liked the males she saw there, they were all good looking but none was as good looking as the golden haired one she had been fortunate enough to find.

She didn't want to leave the fountain, she was fighting him and during the struggle she managed to loosen the belt of his robe and it fell off. Now he was only in his by now wet loincloth and she was wearing a chemise that showed everything, the elves of Imladris had never had entertainment like that before and the crowd was growing by the minute. Some were shouting encouraging advice while some were betting on who would win the wrestling match. Halariel was rather strong in spite of it all and she was giving Glorfindel a real challenge, he tried to grasp and lift her and she was slippery and agile and managed to twist herself free from his grip every time and the chemise was soon ripped to shreds.

Glorfindel was glaring, his eyes shooting daggers and he was trying to manhandle this fury who was completely unable to see that she was very indecent and should have been covering herself. Lindir threw a cloak to Glorfindel who managed to wrap it around her somehow, she looked like some badly wrapped present and he lifted her across his shoulders and managed to look almost dignified when he waded out of the fountain and carried her back to her room. There was loud applause following them and Glorfindel rolled his eyes and swore that Elrond never again would be able to persuade him into doing anything like this.


	7. A lesson in obscenities

Warning, this chapter do contain some extremely nasty words, be aware! Silly humor also, plus battle violence.

Chapter 7: A lesson in obscenities

Glorfindel had gotten Halariel back to her rooms, but not without a fight. She wasn't ready to back down just yet, it had been so fun bathing in that sparkly water thing and she wanted to go back. She didn't understand why she wasn't allowed to stay in there? Glorfindel dragged her along and cursed that fact that she was almost as long as he was, a smaller elleth would have been easy to subdue, not this thrashing squealing wriggling creature.

The worst part of it was that he was starting to react to the physical contact, after all, her chemise was torn to shreds and he had to manhandle her rather roughly, to be honest he had his hands all over her in the desperate attempts to keep her under control. The thin wet loincloth had become uncomfortable to say the least and suddenly she became aware of his predicament. She stared with wide eyes and then she reached down and touched him. Glorfindel cursed so bad it would have made Sauron himself blush rather violently, he ran the last stretch back to the rooms, hoping that nobody saw them. He had heaved her across his shoulder like a sack of flour and she was still giggling and trying to stroke him through the thin wet cloth, he could as might as well have been buck naked. The sight had to be rather obscene and he rushed through the door to her room and slammed it shut so hard the frame almost splintered. He was growling and tossed her down onto the bed and she just bounced back right off it as if she had been covered in springs, eagerly leaping towards the door.

Glorfindel rolled his eyes and grasped her, this time he threw himself down next to her, pinning her beneath his body and hoping that his weight would be enough to subdue her. He was wrong, she was as slick as an eel and jostling around like that didn't put a dampener to his arousal, quite contrary. He got an idea, she was obviously quite awake but if he could get her tired she would hopefully relax and perhaps even fall asleep? It was worth trying and she had after all tried to grope him. He bent over and kissed her neck and she squealed and wriggled but this time with delight. She went from fight modus to playful within the blink of an eye, and he removed the sorry remains of the flimsy chemise before he started caressing and teasing her all over.

Halariel was giggling and squirming and surrendering completely to his touches and he was amazed by this change in her. It was in a way endearing, she was so innocent, so completely free in a way others weren't. She didn't try to hide her feelings but allowed herself to go with their flow and right now she was as wanton as ever before. She tried rubbing herself against him and he moaned and had to gather all of his self-control to prevent himself from just taking her. She was more than willing, there was no doubt about it and he quickly went down on her and used his tongue to bring her to a rather sudden release. She howled and shuddered and he continued, she was so unrestrained, so gloriously free from shame or doubt and he had realized that he liked it and liked it a lot. He had been with several other ellith, he was no monk and living in celibacy was something he never could have endured and many of those he had bedded had been too worried about how they looked or if he liked them or if their hair got messed up and so on and so forth to really allow themselves to enjoy what he was doing. And he had felt a bit disappointed every time. They hadn't put their full attention on him nor themselves and so the whole experience became less than it ought to be.

He was rather sure that such a problem never would appear with Halariel, she just lived in the moment and didn't give a damn about her appearance. He made sure that she came two more times, by then she was sweaty and getting drowsy and he finished himself off quickly, just by rubbing himself against her. She gasped when she felt the warm drops of liquid on her skin, he hadn't done that before so she stared with huge eyes. " I am sorry Halariel, I know I shouldn't lay here dry humping you like some dog but right now, that is all I can do with a clean conscience."

He got up and found a washcloth, his legs felt wobbly and he was tired too, he hadn't gotten a

full night's sleep and he had in fact used a lot of strength fighting her. He cleaned them both and Halariel was already drifting off into sleep, a content grin around her mouth and she looked like some huge sleeping cat. He swallowed and lay down next to her, he was still in doubt of what to do next, where to go with this peculiar relationship but he didn't want to see her with someone else. It was weird but true. Before long he too slept like a log and in their sleep they cuddled up together like puppies in a basket.

Timar had finally relaxed, he had found a nice soft spot in a huge pile of hay and was sitting there contemplating his further actions, he was going to seek a vengeance that nobody ever would be able to forget. Maybe he should have that darn elf flogged and dragged by horses through that accursed village, so that everybody could see the fate which awaited everybody who dared to question his might? Or perhaps he ought to let his men have some fun with the creature, after all, the elf was prettier than most women, yes, that would be a perfect way of making an example. Timar was so convinced of his own superiority and righteousness he failed to hear anything from outside of the barn, he didn't see the shadow that moved around and he didn't hear the soft creaking sounds of wood that was being moved. He thought he had escaped and was rather angry at himself for having fled the way he had. The elf couldn't be that dangerous after all, he was just flesh and blood, surely his men had brought this onto themselves by running away. If they had stood their ground they would have been safe.

Maedhros had dismounted when he saw the barn and left Hammer standing underneath a huge tree, he was sneaking closer and saw that there was only two doors on the old building. One narrow one for people and a wide one at the end of the barn used for carriages and such. With nimble hands he tied the doors shut with fresh young vines he had picked in the woods, then he gathered a lot of dead branches and piled them up along the walls. He wanted this scum to suffer as the boys had and he had no sensation of doing anything wrong at all. This was justice and he knew by sheer instinct that this man would become a menace to the people of the area if he was allowed to live. The seeds of a real tyrant were already growing sprouts within his soul and Maedhros had seen that too often.

He had gotten flint and steel from one of the men he had killed and some tinder too, he made sure the doors were blocked before he lit some tinder and then let it ignite a branch. He stood there with it lifted as a torch, it was flaming rather vividly for it was dry wood and he wanted Timar to see the end that awaited him. He stood there, waiting patiently and the walls of the barn were so full of cracks it didn't take long before Timar saw the fire.

At first he tried to hide, thinking that the elf was looking for him, then he realized that the elf wasn't moving and to his horror he understood that he had been found already. The elf was an excellent tracker and Timar had never really learned how to move through a forest undetected. The tall redhead just stood there, staring, and Timar started to panic, he ran to the door and tried to open it but it was impossible to move it even an inch. Then he tried the other door and that too was blocked, he was trapped inside of the barn. He stared through the cracks, the tall elf stood there in the flickering light of the torch and he was more beautiful and terrible than anything the human had ever seen. The eyes were like deep wells, fountains filled with eons of time and they were so hard and cold it made Timar shiver to the bone. He tried to push down the door one more time but he only hurt his shoulder and he lost it, he screamed at the elf. " What is it you want? Damn you, why are you here?!"

Maedhros didn't make a single sound, he just put the torch in between the dry branches and the wood caught fire immediately. He stood back and listened to the desperate howls of the human, listened to pleas and curses and shrill screams. The barn was made from dry timbers and it was stacked with hay. It couldn't have burned any better, Timar did at least get quite a spectacular funeral pyre, too bad for him he was still alive when he burned. Maedhros didn't make a single grimace, his face was without any expressions as he listened to the last dying keens of the man who had murdered the two lads. He stood there until the barn had burned down and only ashes remained, then he returned to his horse. He had gathered equipment from the dead men and now he had weapons and whatever else he needed. He knew the direction towards this hidden valley and he knew he had to go there but it would take him quite some time to get there and while he was travelling he was not going to let anything stop him nor slow him down. He was going to protect himself and he started to feel like a soldier once more.

His confidence was rising and he got the stuff onto a horse he came across on the outskirts of the moorland. It was one of those he had let loose and it was limping but it was strong enough to carry some things if not a rider.

He felt a strange excitement surge through him, he was his own man now, free to do whatever he wished or was he? He felt that he had been brought back for some reason but he had no idea of what that reason may be. He wouldn't let the Valar toy with him, his father had been right in many ways when he claimed that the Valar in some ways tried to belittle the Noldor. In Valinor they had been safe but it had been a life of stagnation, of endless boredom. Yes, they achieved many great things and created things of great beauty or usefulness but there was no challenge, no real thrill about it. Who cared if you spent two weeks or two millennia creating something when you could survive without it? He had heard scholars arguing for hours over some petty thing like how to pronounce the name of certain Valar or whether or not women should be allowed to inherit their parents the same way their brothers did. Fëanor had claimed that a society where nothing ever changes and no real threats sharpens the mind becomes a society where the spirits and opinions start to fester, like an untreated wound. People had become petty and narrow minded, being too pious and too afraid to do anything different than the others to evolve and grow and become more than before. In Ennor they could do that, they had faced terrible misery and awful situations but they had been free. Free to reclaim their lives and grow stronger and learn things the hard way, the real way.

He rode south and knew that the world had changed a lot since he last was alive, he had little knowledge of just how much but he was rather sure that he would find out in time. Now he just had to keep going and hope that the elves of this valley weren't too hostile. He was after all someone they probably still remembered, and he knew of the hatred many had felt towards his kin. It would be a miracle if that was completely gone and he had never been much of a believer in such things. He rode until the break of day, then he made a stop by a narrow river and caught a fish and ate it raw, he was used to surviving on very little and as he sat there resting he remembered those days after his rescue.

He had not quite been able to believe it, that he was alive, that he wasn't dead, that he was saved. He had given up hope and deep within he was proud of his brothers for not having foolishly tried to save him. It would have been in vain for they would never have been able to find him, and their own lives would have been lost in the process. He had accepted his fate and he decisions he had made after his rescue had perhaps not been popular but they had been needed. He had seen things from a new angle when he got back, had seen that the title of king would tear them apart just as the oath inevitably would and it was just idiotic to add more to their burden.

He had been so weak when Fingon brought him to the camp, barely alive. His body had shut itself down, he was barely able to eat, could not move and the pathetic remains of his right arm had been infected badly. Some claimed that Fingon had struggled to cut away his hand and free him from that magically wrought shackle that held him to the mountainside but it was a lie. He had hung there for years, the hand had been dead and more or less rotten. If it hadn't been for the magic in the shackle he would have slipped out of it and fallen. Fingon could have cut him loose with a butter knife, there had been little resistance.

He remembered the sight of his own body, he had been completely emaciated and a terrifying sight. The healers had been lost for words when they saw him, they had no idea of what to do and Fingon had stayed, nurtured him back to life. Maedhros remembered that he had looked more or less like a skeleton, his skin almost as grey as the rock he had been chained to and although the orcs had cut his hair of it had grown back and become a tangled mess. Fingon had shaved him, it had been the only option and then he had scrubbed the entire body and the water had to be changed several times before all the filth was gone. He remembered the sensation of being dirty, of being stained and tainted. He had been so afraid of touch for years, been afraid of what would follow. It had been imprinted deeply within his soul and sometimes he would wake up and believe that he still was caught there in the darkness.

It had taken a lot of his strength to recover, and when he finally had returned to health and full sanity he still had some problems adjusting to a normal life. Fingon had been very understanding and Maglor too, their younger brothers on the other hand had been less compassionate, their hearts had hardened to a degree where they no longer owned any sense of doubt. To them the goal justified the means no matter what and he hadn't liked it at all. He had tried to rein them in, to control them but in the end it had been to no avail and the oath had reawakened. He had often cursed his father's ingenuity, if those darn silmarilli hadn't been made naught of it would have happened. His brothers would have been alive, they would have been safe.

He rode on and old instincts reawakened, he felt how the vigorous life of the nature surrounding him make his skin tingle and he felt that he was at home there. He remembered the many times he had joined his brothers hunting in the forests of Eldamar, remembered how the light of the two trees had caressed a land that was in a way almost artificial. It was just too perfect, too…much. Everything was so brand new and would be forever, there was nothing there which was just left to chance, no such thing as something that just happened for no reason at all. He could sometimes have sworn that every branch or twig on the trees had been carefully designed to look just the way it did and he had come to loathe those memories. The forest they had encountered when returning to Ennor had been so different, so much more vibrant. Filled with life yes, but also with death and yet they were so much more interesting. Yes, they had made the right decision to return to the lands of the awakening, but maybe not for the right reasons.

He spent the night in a tree with the horses resting underneath it and when the sun rose he rode on, the landscape was ragged, it looked rather flat from a distance but it wasn't. There were many small hills or narrow little valleys and in between there were plains covered with tall yellow grasses and small holts of pine or spruce. It was beautiful and he wished he could have explored this land but by now he felt some sort of pull, some sort of desperation. It was rather subtle but insisting and he knew that he would have to get to this Imladris place, it was his target and he was getting a bit worried that this strange pull could mean trouble.

He crossed a few rivers and in the evening he shot a small deer and made camp in a dense holt of some sort of trees he hadn't seen before. He did start a fire and enjoyed some roasted meat, he felt hungry and knew he needed to eat to uphold his strength. His knee and thigh was alright again, he didn't feel anything even resembling pain and he was deeply grateful for the help he had received in the village. He just hoped that he could repay them for the kindness he had received some day, and perhaps somehow tell them of the fate the two boys had suffered. It still pained him, he couldn't help it. The kind of evil that had claimed their lives had been way too common back then and he had seen it too often. Maybe he was just as bad as Timar had been, maybe he was even worse but those had been times of war. Those had been the days of the desperate fight against Morgoth and everything had been different.

He allowed himself some sleep and awakened feeling well rested, he made sure that the horses were okay and then he rode on. It was well beyond midday when he saw something in the horizon that made him stop Hammer and stare. It was a huge flock of crows and ravens and they were circling. He had learned that this usually did mean that something was dead and he got a strange feeling in his guts. He urged Hammer on and after about an hour he came across a place of slaughter. He just sat on his horse, staring. It had been a small group of humans, perhaps five in all, probably a family and he felt like retching. The bodies looked as if they had been more or less hacked to pieces, there wasn't much remaining of them and he recognized the method and technique too darn well. This had been the doing of orcs and he felt how he snarled and his hands started shaking. So the orcs were still around, what else remained of those dark days? More foul beasts perhaps? He suddenly felt an urge to watch the sky for dragons or balrogs and he shook his head to get rid of the sinking fear.

But if there were orcs around then the land was far from safe and he knew he should take great care when moving on. He decided to let the pack horse go, he rearranged his things and left a few items he didn't really need and he did ride towards the river he saw up ahead. Orcs are not that overly fond of water and they are horrible swimmers, with the river at his back he felt a bit more safe and it appeared to be leading in the right direction too. He tried to stay low, to hide himself within the terrain and Hammer seemed to understand for the horse stayed in the shadows and he didn't have to lead it at all. He had ridden for some hours and it was getting dark when he noticed a change in the atmosphere around him, the trees had fallen silent and he felt the hairs stand up at the back of his neck. They were warning him, he just knew it. He rode into a thicket of trees, there he grasped his bow and a quiver and his sword and jumped up into the trees. He told Hammer to stay hidden through thought speech and the horse nodded and disappeared into a very dark little canyon. He ran along the branches and before long he felt the familiar stench of orcs, he felt how a chill run along his spine, these creatures were just vile and horrible, abominations and insults to everything that was natural and pure.

The pack wasn't very large, perhaps a dozen and he watched them with keep eyes. They were different from the orcs he had seen back in the first age, they were smaller and looked more deformed in some ways, more wicked but less strong. They had adorned themselves with everything from scars to paint and wore rather primitive looking armor and weapons. But they were no laughing matter, he knew that. They were probably a lot stronger than one could expect and they were following his tracks. He saw it, he couldn't just let them pass him by, they knew somebody was out there. He listened, they were speaking but the language had changed over time, he didn't understand much. It had become more elaborate and the sound of it much more guttural and nasty. He shivered and wondered what he was to do. He had to act fast, that was for sure. He saw that several of them had bows and they looked powerful. He didn't want to risk getting shot. He kept studying them, he did identify two as leaders, the others appeared to follow their lead and he somehow suspected that these orcs were lacking when it came to brains. They didn't appear to be very smart.

Right, if he got rid of the officers the others would probably start arguing about leadership and he took a deep breath and got his bow ready. It was getting dark and orcs could see very well in the darkness but so could he. He had one great advantage, his weapons were man made, the arrows were a bit different from the ones elves would use and if they believed that they fought a human being they would underestimate him greatly.

He aimed for the one on the right, a rather large orc with grey skin and nasty red eyes and hair braided and adorned with small skulls and bones. The arrow hit the orc straight in the heart but Maedhros had moved the moment the arrow left the bow and was already somewhere else, he shot again and the other leader got the arrow through his temple, he too dropped like a rock and the other orcs just stood there for a few seconds, rather shocked. Then they started shouting and yelling and fired arrows in almost every direction. One pulled the arrow out of the fallen leader and stared at it, yelled something that only could mean human and the orcs grunted and growled, having two of them killed by a mere man was an insult. They were a bit insecure though, they hadn't seen the shooter yet and gathered together in a rather tight group.

Maedhros grinned, the grin was nasty and he had moved around the group by now. He fired again, rapidly and brought down yet four orcs. Half of the group was dead and the remaining creatures were getting nervous. They didn't like not having a strong leader, most orc are like dogs, they prefer to be a part of a pack lead by someone with strength and now there were no such alpha individuals back.

They fired at the trees but Maedhros had sought shelter behind the trunk of a huge beech. Some arrows did hit the trees and he sent an apology to them through his mind. He moved again, swiftly and stealthy like a ghost and fired again, one more orc fell and the five that remained decided that they had had it with this and tried to flee. Maedhros knew that orcs are cowards at heart, there is strength in numbers and even though a trapped orc will fight furiously they try to avoid getting into that type of a situation. They would never try to help a wounded comrade, it was more likely that they would eat him and the loyalty was based upon fear and strength more than real respect. He whistled and Hammer came trotting to him, he mounted swiftly and petted the horse on the neck.

The battle rage had started to simmer within his veins, now it burst forth and he replaced the bow with Reaver, the blade was not very long but he knew how to use it and he kicked the horse into a gallop. The orcs heard the sound of hooves and turned around, surprised and not really able to see anything in the darkness underneath the trees. The horse was black and the ground soft so it was hard to determine where the sound came from. Hammer hit the group just like the tool which name he carried, the huge horse snorted in disgust and he did actually run two orcs down and stepped upon them. Maedhros did only hear some sickening crunching sounds and knew that those two were done for. The horse swirled around by just a slight pressure from his heels and he swung Reaver in elegant and yet deadly curves, took the heads of two in just seconds and then he went for the last one. It was a rather scrawny looking orc, pale and thin and rather grotesque looking with a lot of bizarre patterns carved into its skin.

The orc screamed when it saw what it was that was chasing it, it had thought it was a human but this was an overly large elf and the orc tried to run. It was a very bad idea, Maedhros had gotten some throwing knives from the humans he had killed earlier and now one of them found its way into the orcs back with a thud. The orc fell and Maedhros dismounted and retrieved the weapon and his arrows. He grimaced, the stench of orc was vile and he just hoped that he wouldn't encounter any more of these beasts.

He spent the night in a tree again, he had found a holt and in the distance he could see a forested area, it was the Trollshaws but he didn't know that. The map told him that his goal lay somewhere in that region towards the mountains. He could see the huge mountain range to the east, it looked very intimidating and he hoped that he didn't have to get anywhere near them. He estimated a couple of days of travel before he could reach the forest and then it was anybody's guess how long it would take him to find that valley.

Elrond had been lost for words when he learned who the strange elleth was, he had had no knowledge of this females existence at all and the fact that she was conceived as the result of rape did concern him a great deal. He could remember his step father well and although Maedhros had been the least compassionate and gentle of the two feanorians who raised him and Elros Elrond had never doubted that the tall redhead had owned a good heart at the bottom. To hear that he had committed such a crime was in a way very disappointing, of course he knew of the things the sons of Fëanor had done but they had been driven to it by the oath, they had sought to retrieve the Silmarilli and he could to a certain degree at least understand the way they had been thinking and the circumstances that had lead them to do what they had. This on the other hand? Nothing could justify something like that, the first elves didn't even have a word for such deeds, to them it was inconceivable that someone could force anyone to join like that.

But she was Maedhro's daughter, beyond any doubt. She looked so much like him it was frightening, the only difference was that her hair seemed to have a deeper red color than his, it looked almost burgundy in color. Elrond just knew that the silmarilli leftover her mother had received had something to do with her existence and it had to have shaped her and given her powers which she was unable to really understand. What Glorfindel had told him spoke volumes, she had managed to remain undetected for ages and that ought to have been impossible but she wasn't consciously aware of what she had done, or of the fact that she had done anything at all. She had to be taught how to control this, he had to get to the bottom of this mystery. The power she possessed was something he never had encountered before and it irked him to a considerable degree that it was possessed by someone who seemed to be unable to act like a normal person. Her appearance was one thing, her behavior something altogether different.

He knew that someone like that was bound to get into trouble sooner or later, she was probably unaware of the danger of really insulting someone with her completely outrageous behavior. She didn't need any enemies, she had to learn how to behave and that had to happen soon or else she would be the laughing stock of the entire settlement. Nobody would be able to take her seriously at all and that would be very sad indeed. Elrond had been informed of the fountain incident, he had just sighed and rested his head in his hands, feeling rather tired. He had a strange feeling that having her there would be more stressful than dealing with the pranks his sons created ever had been. Luckily Glorfindel ought to be capable of handling her, or was he? He was a warrior after all, used to fighting and strategies and so on. Baby-sitting a mad elleth was hardly normal work for him but she had obviously gotten interested in him and when he had asked Glorfindel how he knew this the warrior had just blushed and refused to give a straight answer.

Elrond thought he knew already, he had seen it in the females eyes and he also saw the protective and yet very confused glimpse in the eyes of the golden warrior and Elrond would have smirked if it hadn't been a bit tragic. Glorfindel was in every way a gentleman and very well raised, he would never take advantage of an elleth and if Elrond didn't misinterpret her body language when Glorfindel was near she acted a bit like a bitch in heat when around him. Resisting that had to be darn hard, Glorfindel deserved a great deal of respect. But how were they to proceed? They had to tame her somehow, make her normal. She had to be taught how to speak first of all, the few words Glorfindel and the twins had been able to teach her were not enough to even start a conversation. And she had to learn what modesty was, and proper table manners not the least. He knew that dwarves showed their appreciation of a good meal by tossing leftovers everywhere but it wasn't considered polite among elves. He thought for a second about sending her to the dwarves of Erebor, her table manners would fit right in there but he pushed the idea out of his head right away.

No, this was serious, if she did contain the power of the silmarilli, if it was even just a tiny bit of it, she could become very dangerous. They had to cure her and make her become a normal person so that they could start to unravel this phenomenon. Elrond left his study and went to the library. Erestor was there as usual and he smiled but looked a bit worried. Elrond frowned, Erestor did usually look very happy when he was around his books, but not today. "What is the matter?"

Erestor bit his lower lip, his eyes were wide. " My lord, do you believe in ghosts?"

Elrond frowned. " Ghosts? Like the houseless? Or are you referring to what the mortal think of as ghosts?"

Erestor leaned towards the master of Imladris and he was a bit pale. " I don't know, but I locked the door when I left for dinner, when I returned the door was still locked but several books were tossed all over the place, it looked as if a hurricane had gone through the shelf."

Elrond was stunned. " What? What shelf was that?"

Erestor grasped Elrond by his sleeve and tugged the reluctant lord after him, Elrond had to follow or risk that his expensive robe got torn. They rounded a corner and Elrond gasped. In front of them were an absolute mayhem and a librarians worst nightmare. There were books laying everywhere, and they were just thrown about as if a child had been throwing a tantrum or something. "See?!"

Elrond walked over, very silently and picked up one of the books, it was only one shelf that had been affected by the phenomenon and judging from the book he was holding in his hand it was a shelf of dictionaries of almost every language they knew of in Arda. Elrond was puzzled, "Dictionaries? Who would try to ruin a bunch of dictionaries?"

Erestor looked as if he was in despair, seeing this almost put him into shock, he hated seeing his library reduced to such a state and Elrond patted him on the back. "Worry not mellon, I will send someone to help you tidy this up."

Erestor just rolled his eyes and sighed, the elf could sometimes be more than a little melodramatic but he was a very skilled person and Elrond was very fond of him. But who could have done this? Erestor was very careful with the library, he would never let the doors remain unlocked if he wasn't there and anyone who wanted to enter the place had to have his permission. Erestor still broke into heavy sweating and got pale as moonlight whenever someone mentioned that particular night when the twins had gotten into the library and had managed to cover all of his papers with inkstains and left several very valuable and also very erotic illustrated ancient books with fingermarks, food and wine stains and even a few torn pages. It had taken Elrond a week to get Erestor out of the catatonic shock into which the poor ellon had fallen. It was just pure luck that the twins hadn't been physically mature yet, or else the nature of those stains could have been even more unappealing.

Elrond walked back to his study, he saw that the lights were out in Glorfindel's apartment and he sighed and hoped that the warrior got some rest. He felt that the days to come could prove to be very exhausting for them all.

Glorfindel woke up rather late, the sunlight had already turned the room rather hot since it faced the sunrise and he yawned and stretched and started when he realized that he lay next to someone. He turned his head and saw that Halariel was sleeping next to him, she looked as innocent as a child and he couldn't help but smile, a rather warm and gentle smile. Halariel mumbled something in her sleep and Glorfindel frowned, what had that been? It had sounded like khuzdul? Had she perhaps learned some of the dwarfish language when she was younger? She mumbled again and he shook her gently. Yes, it was most definitely khuzdul and it was just the names of several types of granite.

Halariel opened her eyes and grinned, she stretched and he had to admire the shape of her. She was thin but by the gods, she would become irresistible as soon as she got some weight onto her. He got dressed, combed his hair and brushed his teeth and got ready for the day, Halariel had found the green dress they had bought for her and managed to put it on, he had to help her with the laces though. She giggled and he couldn't help it, she was so darn cute like that but he didn't really know how to deal with her. He offered her arm. " I bet you are hungry? Let us go to the hall and get some food. "

She cocked her head and grinned, followed him eagerly and without questioning him. Outside it was very sunny and he felt tense, she could suddenly do something rather outrageous and he didn't want to cause another scene like yesterday. She did behave though, followed him to the hall and the staff already knew of her habits so she wasn't given any cutlery and the plate and cup were made from heavy ceramics and naught but unbreakable. She just giggled and stared at the hard boiled eggs she had gotten and the bread and cheese. Glorfindel started removing the eggshells from his eggs but she obviously didn't understand that they were boiled for she tried to bite them in half. It looked weird and many elves threw swift and shocked glances at them.

Glorfindel was about to show her that the egg was boiled, she acted before he had time to react. She just tossed the egg away with an impressive technique and it hit Lindir in the back of his head so egg yolk and pieces of eggshell flew around him.

He almost lost his balance but did regain it by putting his hand down rather fast, straight into a bowl of breakfast cereal someone was eating. The minstrel was apologizing with such fervor one would expect he was guilty of something far worse than just ruining someone's breakfast, Lindir had always been a bit shy!

Glorfindel turned to Halariel, she was studying another egg and was about to toss that too when Glorfindel gently and yet with determination caught her wrist and stopped her. " No!"

She frowned, then she looked down, sulking like a kid someone has scolded. "No?"

He nodded sternly. " No Halariel, no tossing of eggs, or any other things for that matter."

She sighed, then she grabbed the cup of milk and without hesitating she lifted it and poured it over Glorfindel's head. He let go of her wrist, coughing and trying to wipe the milk out of his eyes, she looked at him with very innocent eyes, in fact she was fluttering her eyelashes at him in a most peculiar way. Did she at all know what she was doing?

Glorfindel was soaking wet, the other elves present were staring as if there was a balrog in their midst and some elflings at a nearby table was giggling and laughing so hard they almost fell off the bench.

Glorfindel tried to remain calm but he felt that anger was starting to simmer within him and he took several deep breaths to calm himself down. " Halariel..do…not…repeat…that! Milk is not for wasting!"

She cocked her head, looked as if she was thinking about something very hard. Then she opened her mouth. " Milk, letter M. Milk, muck, mucus molds, more, meleth, man, mandible, marriage, menace, monsoon malady moron matrimony moonlight moose malleable mob mop monster mope"

Glorfindel stared at her with his mouth open, she grinned like crazy. " Eggs, letter E, Eggs, eager, estragon, elleth enemy elsewhere elfling estuary endings ent elvenkind."

Glorfindel was a bit shocked, had she somehow been triggered to recite all the words she had ever learned or something, what was this?

She stood in the middle of the hall and she was actually shouting the words rather loud so everybody could hear them, she went by the alphabet and suddenly she obviously remembered something new. " Letter O,. obscenities, cum, cum-sucker whore bitch oral-sex ass ass-fucker, cock-sucker, fisting, fist-fucking asshole, horses ass, hard on, wood, stiffy orc-cock, tits, boobs, breast, clitoris ass-licker motherfucker cock gweth, dick, cunt cunt-licker…"

Glorfindel had rather fast reflexes but before he managed to get to her from across the table and press a hand over her mouth a very impressive list of very obscene words had managed to be heard all through the hall and the silence was so absolute you could have heard a pin drop. More than a hundred pair of extremely shocked elven eyes was staring at them and Glorfindel felt his ears burning like never before. Some ellith by the next table stared so hard Glorfindel feared that they were close to passing out and one of the elflings asked in a sweet voice. " Naneth, what is a cock-sucker?"

Glorfindel once again had to struggle against a very willful elleth and he had never been that embarrassed in his entire life. He grasped her and tossed her across his back, running from the hall as if his pants were on fire. Halariel wasn't done yet, she shouted. " Letter B, boot, better, back, bother, brother, bones boner bridge banner banned burn buck bigger born busy business been barracks."

Glorfindel ran to Elronds study and kicked the door open, he found the lord of Imladris standing by a table next to his sons, they were studying some maps and Glorfindel saw that the two twins threw a rather confused glance at the captain, it wasn't that often that you saw the captain of the guard of Imladris rushing into a room with a trashing elleth tossed over his shoulder, dripping wet with…milk?

Elrond just stared and Halariel was kicking and struggling to get free from Glorfindel's rock hard grip. She wasn't going to quit though. " Letter F; Fuck, fuck-off, fiend, fierce, finances fiancée, former, formal, foremost, future, fucked, forward, futile, fuming, fumes, fantasy, fire, fore, fandango, fabulous, fantastic, falling fallout fancy fare forever fond, fondue."

Elrond went pale and Glorfindel panted. "Elrond, make her stop, she just taught a group of elflings every obscenity I have ever heard of plus quite a few of which I have been oblivious up to now. The mothers looked as if they were ready to have our heads."

Elrond sat down, he just stared at Halariel and it didn't appear that she really knew what it was that she was saying, she just went through a list and she didn't understand the words at all. "The dictionaries, she or rather her power is behind it."

Glorfindel struggled to keep her under control. " What freaking dictionaries?!"

Elrond let a hand run through his long ebony hair. "Something had torn through Erestor's dictionaries yester eve, it had to be her, well, the powers she has got. "

Glorfindel stared at the healer. "What in Eru's name are you talking about?!"

Elrond was pale. " It is awakening Glorfindel, it is trying to learn? Can't you see? You went into her mind, you showed her the past she had forgotten and it reduced her to a childlike state again, she doesn't want to remember so the thing inside of her is taking control over her, I can feel it. It is trying to become her, to live through her."

Glorfindel swallowed hard, he felt his knees go weak. " No, you cannot mean that?"

Elrond was trembling a bit, the twins stared at Halariel with narrow eyes, both had their hands on their swords. " I am, I am sorry but I am. She is shielding herself from her memories by withdrawing from conscious thought, by remaining like an animal. The thing she harbors is creating a personality for itself and when it gets strong enough it may be that we will have to deal with a living piece of silmarilli and not an elleth at all. And only the Valar knows how to deal with something like that"

Glorfindel turned his head, stared at her. It couldn't be true, he didn't want it to happen, he was getting fond of her god damn it. How were they to cope with a creature with such powers? She turned her eyes towards him and for a moment they were shining, in a completely unnatural and otherworldly manner. He swallowed hard, felt his blood run cold. Elrond looked very nervous, almost as if he had shrunk somehow. "We have to keep her in charge of herself, to bring her back, no matter how it is done. Her true self is in jeopardy, her soul is going to fade if her power manage to overcome her body. "

Glorfindel grasped her hand, it was warm and real and he remembered the sorry state she had been in when they found her. She wouldn't have survived for long but perhaps that would have been more kind than this. He felt scared but determined still. " So, how do we do that?"

Elrond shrugged, his face had an expression of utter helplessness. " I have no idea Fin, honestly."

Glorfindel felt a cold chill run down his spine, he stared at her. " I won't let anything happen to you Halariel, this I swear. "


End file.
